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Thread: Unsure.....

  1. #1
    BIG TEXAN's Avatar
    BIG TEXAN is offline Respected Member
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    Aug 2002


    Well as most knows I'm a divorced father with two kids..... been divorced now for quite some time and it took alot for me to get my life back in order as it was a very difficult time in my life. I was enjoying being single again, not really looking for women, just liking being on my own with my kids and focusing on just that. Well about a year ago I met someone. She's beautiful, centered, really good to my kids and good to me most of the time. She's pushed me and encouraged me in my goals and such. We moved in together and bought a house and things have been going pretty good now since October. We're engaged now and planning on getting married next April. The thing is I'm now seeing how much different we are. In alot of ways her strnegths are my weaknesses and vice versa. But we butt heads alot on different things. As she's been a single mother for quite awhile and been dicked over by every man in her life including family, so it's taken quite a bit of work on my end to earn her trust and love. My thing is now I'm starting to see how I love her and would like to build a life with her, but at the same time I'm not sure I want to. I mean, I'm at a point now where I'm thinking moving out and being on my own and go back to just dating her again would be better. I'm having doubts and there's things she does and how she lives her life at times it makes me feel like she has no place for a man in her life and that I might be happier to just say the hell with it and go on my own again. She can come home and be the woman I fel in love with and other days she comes home and the way she acts really pisses me off and drives me away from her. I just don't know if I want the hassle and all the B.S. that comes with being with someone and married. Could just be normal and I'll get over it but than again I don't want to spend the rest of my days feeling like this. What's sad is that if she left or I left, it really wouldn't faze me much. I'd be back on my feet and be ok, not devastated at all. Could that mean that I dont love her as much as I thought or that I'm just to the point where I no longer feel like I need someone in my life to be happy. Anyways.. I just felt like venting a bit as I'm sitting here unsure of the choices I've made in the past year. But I'm off to the gym in a bit and gonna bl,ow off some steam and maybe feel better when I get home.

  2. #2
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Dec 2002
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG TEXAN
    What's sad is that if she left or I left, it really wouldn't faze me much. I'd be back on my feet and be ok, not devastated at all.
    I would have to say that means she's not "that" important to ya.

    However, only you can actually make the decision, so I hope that it turns out to be the right one for ya!

    Have a great workout.


  3. #3
    MatrixGuy's Avatar
    MatrixGuy is offline Good things come to those who wait
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    Mar 2005
    UK, Lancashire
    If you wouldn't feel any different about her leaving bro then she can't mean that much to you, like Swolecat said. How does she feel about you? Does she love you? It sounds like you are fine the way you are, with your kids

  4. #4
    BG's Avatar
    BG is online now The Real Deal - AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
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    Apr 2005
    You know better then to rush it, dont jeopardize the good feelings you worked so hard for after your divorce. I would sit her down and see if you could figure out what it is the days you cant stand her, and if not , then maybe take some time and put the marriage off a while and give each other space. Whe you do have your space decide, "shit this is great" or "I miss her and we should have gotten married!". You also have to factor in what these decsions effects would have on your children. Also what the hell do I know though, Ill never, evr, ever get married, not for me. Good luck bro, give it time.

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