My friend scared the shit out of me this night

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 05:21 AM

Around 3:30 my friend(lets call him Y) calls and wakes me up. Hes all drunk and ****ed upp crying and telling me he is bleeding and that he is gonna kill himself but dont realy dare to.
I try to make him calm down but all of a sudden he just says "maby Im dead tomorrow" and then hangs up the god damn phone.

So I try to get ahold of my other friend(C) and finaly I do. Y had called him shortely after me. It was a ****ed upp sitution because the week before C had found Y sitting on the floor in his apartment trying to cut his wrists.
But I live 1300kilometers from both of them and C was working night and couldnt leave his job so none of us could go home to his place.

Anyway it ended good. Y sobered up and didnt do anything. Talking to him right now. Me Y and C have for many years now been best of friends. Since 6th grade. It kills both me and C to know Y is this depressed we have no clue what to do. I was like that for 2 years horribly depressed and suicidal but still it feels like I cant advice him. Trying to convince him not to drink anymore and to go to a councelor or pschyciatrist but knowing how hard it was for me to take that step I guess its very hard.

Anyone else been in a situation like this and how did you help your friend?

**IronFreakX** · 07-10-2005, 09:50 AM

i was in a similar situation....no matter what people tell ya...you wont change unless u want to....

**GQ-Bouncer** · 07-10-2005, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by johan

Anyone else been in a situation like this and how did you help your friend?

Yup. Get him to start smoking pot.

being suicidal is the cause of a chemical inbalance of the brain, not just an emotional high (trust me, the body doesnt want you to kill itself). I would get him to a doctor and get him on some anti-depresents (such as Paxil)

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 10:42 AM

well I have some first hand experience of anti depressants(ssri's only not other kinds, remeron in my case, zoloft in many of my family and relatives) and to be honest I would rather advice someone to consume cyanide. But thats just my oppinion and I know it works for some. But the wast majority seems to only suffer from them.
I only know one(out of maby 10) that has been helped by a ssri. Some of the others think they are better of with them but from a outside perspective I notice they are just the ****ing same and now addicted to a expensive medication also.
hell I also thought I feelt better when I was on remeron, only when I had been off it for a while did a realise how ****ed upp it made me. The withdrawal wasnt plesant either.

Its ridicilous how easily docs prescribes those damn pills nowdays fully aware that they are addictive. Disgusts me. But I guess its easier for them to write a prescrition then to get down to the bottom of the problem with therapy

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 10:44 AM

Makes me think of a part from Dalai Lamas book "the art of hapiness". He says that there isnt even a word for selfhate in the tibetan language. That such a concept doesnt even exist over there.

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 10:47 AM

Im trying to make him se a pshyciatrist though so I wont try to influence him either way about ssri's

**GQ-Bouncer** · 07-10-2005, 10:49 AM

has he ever tried marijuana? (i'm being serious)

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 10:50 AM

yeah he smoked it a few times but doesnt like it that much. Why do you ask?

**GQ-Bouncer** · 07-10-2005, 10:55 AM

my buddy was suicidal (before I knew him that well). Anyways, I'm not going into it, but he basically started smoking pot and has been mellowed out and relaxed enjoying life ever since

**symatech** · 07-10-2005, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by IronFreakX

i was in a similar situation....no matter what people tell ya...you wont change unless u want to....

absolutely right. I've been there too, lots of great people around to help me. But you never get going until you are ready. Just don't give up on your friend, be there when he needs you and hopefully he'll come through and be a better person because of it. It's not an easy thing to watch someone whose like family to you fall apart, but you can't fix it.

Is he bipolar? Has he always been depressed? Is he using any drugs?

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by GQ-Bouncer

my buddy was suicidal (before I knew him that well). Anyways, I'm not going into it, but he basically started smoking pot and has been mellowed out and relaxed enjoying life ever since

Well that sounds resonable but I dont think my friend would like that solution. Dont doubt it though I smoked alot when I was at my lowest. It was just a escape from everyday life but far better then alcohole atleast.

Originally Posted by symatech

absolutely right. I've been there too, lots of great people around to help me. But you never get going until you are ready. Just don't give up on your friend, be there when he needs you and hopefully he'll come through and be a better person because of it. It's not an easy thing to watch someone whose like family to you fall apart, but you can't fix it.

Is he bipolar? Has he always been depressed? Is he using any drugs?

He has been depressed for maby 2-3 years. I dont think he has been depressed more then that. How is a bipolar person?

He isnt using any drugs but he drinks ALOT nowdays.

**J.S.N.** · 07-10-2005, 11:35 AM

this may sound crazy, but howabout an hrt dose of test and tribulus to keep natty HTPA up?

best depression cure there is IMO.

**Kärnfysikern** · 07-10-2005, 11:38 AM

well he is only 22 and have always had a VERY easy time to build muscle when he used to workout so I dont think he has low test. Would suprise me.

**darmadoc** · 07-10-2005, 12:29 PM

Goodness, there are a lot of suggestions about what drugs to get this guy taking. I don't know how things work where you are, but if he is a threat to kill himself is there a mental health clinic you can call for advice. If not try an emergency room at a hospital. As a last resort you might be able to call the police and have him temporarily committed. He'll be pissed off, and you'll probably feel bad- but its better than having a dead friend, and wondering if you could have done more.

**J-Dogg** · 07-10-2005, 01:58 PM

You can't change anyone, they can and for the most part they will only change if somthing drastic happens in their life and they have to change.

My girl friend tried to kill herself 2 times, she did not get better until she was addmited to the hospital in the crazy part. She had to stay there for 3 days and was forced to seek counciling. She said everyone laughs at counslors (including me) until they talk to a good one.

Antidepressants are good if your depressed, if your friend has a drinking problem he should not take them. He will get drunk faster and the drinking is a depressant and will only make him worse.

Your friend is also extreamly lucky to have such good friends, he knows he can call you when he is really down. I hope some day he can repay you for being such a great friend.

**MatrixGuy** · 07-10-2005, 02:12 PM

It's best to let him open up and talk to people. Sometims putting people on anti-depressants isn't always the right thing as it can make them worse, it just depends how ill they really are. I would definately get him to see a professional person (doctor, phyciatrist, etc) and go from there.
It's good to see your friend has a great selection of friends round him

**63190** · 07-10-2005, 04:01 PM

Now I look at myself and think I might need counsling. Only it would cut into my gym time to much.

**Tazwell** · 07-10-2005, 07:50 PM

Y sounds like a time bomb, about to go off.. if it was an event that made him depressed, time is the best medacine, but usually no more than a year, is what you need (heard this from a doctor).. you said he's been like this for almost 3 years.. that's along time, to be living depressed.. get him help..

Originally Posted by GQ-Bouncer

has he ever tried marijuana? (i'm being serious)

really? "that" makes me more depressed, when i'm already down..

**chest6** · 07-10-2005, 08:11 PM

it might help while ur high but afterwards itll go back to sh**

BG · 07-10-2005, 08:25 PM

Crazy shit good luck bro!!!

**max2extreme** · 07-10-2005, 08:56 PM

i agree darmadoc. a suicidal alchoholic....whats the best thing for him? give him street drugs. yea ok.

if you cant see him everyday, send him emails. call him up, ask him how hes feeling. show him that you do care. one thing that will keep most suicides from actually doing it is the people that care about them. most suicides dont think anyone really cares or that it wont matter after they are gone. show him, or tell him straight up that it will matter if he goes thru with it. and that it does matter to you and your friend that he gets better. the guilt of how you will feel if he goes thru with something may keep him from doing it. people can change. dont listen to those who say they cant. you can help him, dont listen to those who say you cant and that only he can help himself. thats what friends do. they listen to their friend's advice, and they show eachother how much they care. do that.