I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has no ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Response from management:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You never work 8 straight hours.
You often fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations.
You do not take initiative.
You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safey requirements, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will probably not make it to retirement age of 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you are always seen entering and exiting the
workplace carrying two
suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
Management
