Dear Madam, Please Read The Bold Print
Quote:
Originally Posted by 31uniform
Apartment for Rent
A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with
her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does
not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check
and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT".
On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the
whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a
check for $250 and enclosed the typed note:
Dear Madam:
Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I
rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;
1) it had never been occupied
2) that there was plenty of heat
3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for
$250 with the following note:
Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment
to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
Dear Madam
I'm sorry you're right, I didnt expect it be unoccupied indefinately. Like most places though the outside it beautiful to draw poeple in, but the inside is well to be quite honest, smelly and simply.....well, dirty. It needs an extreme cleansing.
And I suggest to do so, if of course you want a tenant to stay in there for some time.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
There were no directions, not that I need them and not to get personal, but we just met and I can't be expected to know how and where all off you're appliances/switches are right off the bat and how they like to be worked. Most newer appliances actually don't even need to be turned on in the first place, they are simply just like that! thats the beauty of NEW.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you
don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.
Let me assure you, I have plenty of furniture! Its just that the apartment is well, lets face it, VERY ODDLY SHAPED. It made it quite challenging to get all of my larger furniture in and around the odd corners and extremely stretched out hallways. The fact that I couldn't even barely fit ANY of my larger furniture into the brown hallway entrance, which, goes to show how odd the space really is. No wonder its not rented permanently.
(Just a tip, please clense the brown hallway VERY VERY WELL. It was quite disgusting to be honest.)
Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present
landlady
Ohhhh don't worry I don't actually have another landlord, I gave her the boot. Consider the check null and void.
BIOTCH!
Thats why I never pay rent! :no:
