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08-03-2005, 03:52 PM #1
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I'm a sex addict
A good day to everyone,
Three years ago I moved to the Netherlands to attend a University. In these three years I visited about 200 prostututes in the Redlight District. For the last two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderfull woman. I have been fighting the need to visit the Redlight District, in vain. I can not give it up. How could I? The women there a gorgeous, and depending on my mood that day, I can choose every type of woman. Model look a likes, big ass, big boobs, mature, skinny, fat, black, white, asian, you name it there is one in Amsterdam (even gorgeous shemales, but I am not into that).
Last night I dropped 200 euros for a one hour threesome with two fine pieces of Brazilian ass.
Deep down I want to quit. Should I talk to a proffesional? Should I tell my woman? Does this mean the end of my relationship with her?
What is your opinion?
Please read post 49 of this thread and give me you opinion.
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post 49 of this threadLast edited by Bigmac; 08-21-2005 at 08:28 AM.
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08-03-2005, 03:55 PM #2
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if its not harming u....u dont need to change...but if it is in neway...seek therapy.....
Last edited by IronFreakX; 08-03-2005 at 03:57 PM.
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08-03-2005, 04:19 PM #3
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It is harming you! You are an addict and if there are any 12 step programs for sex addicts in the area I would run not walk to one as fast as possible! Good luck.
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08-03-2005, 04:22 PM #4
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lucky bastard
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08-03-2005, 04:25 PM #5
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you could lose the relationship with your girl if she finds out
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08-03-2005, 04:27 PM #6
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I would seek a professional...depending on how serious u and and ur girl r is ur choice if u tell her
Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
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08-03-2005, 04:27 PM #7
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DO NOT TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! its not like your married. just seek some professional guidance privately, and see where it leads you. try and taper off the amount of visits until your done.
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08-03-2005, 04:27 PM #8
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i used to get that feeling (cheating feeling) but i convinced my girl to have sex like 4 times a week, and i got over it.
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08-03-2005, 04:30 PM #9
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How is the sex relationship between you and your girl
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08-03-2005, 04:31 PM #10
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the only time u need to quit a habit,...is if its harming u....and u r 100% sure that it is harming more than doing u good.....
if u cant afford it....ruining ur life...or interfering with nething essential...then quit...
If not...just keep doing it.....
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08-03-2005, 04:31 PM #11
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i wouldn't suggest u to go to a "professionalist" neither tell ur GF. i'd say fight it bro.
it's all about ur mind, if u control ur own desires then that's it.
if u convience ur self that u need help from some one, then u'll never get over it and u'll use all kinds of excuses about how u r sick and u need help and u'll keep on doing it.
cause ur mind is gonna justify it for u as a sickness since u get help from a professionalist.
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08-03-2005, 04:32 PM #12
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dude sex addicts are not just HORNY!!!......its different.... Originally Posted by smokethedays
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08-03-2005, 04:33 PM #13
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But dam this makes me want to go to the red light district at least for a couple of days
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08-03-2005, 04:33 PM #14
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i don't believe in that bro. Originally Posted by IronFreakX
u got ur will, u got anything.
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08-03-2005, 04:33 PM #15
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I have already try to quit. But after 2 weeks, I get these terrible headaches that only go away with another visit. I consider my relationship a healthy one, verything is allright, our sexlive is also pretty good. Maybe it is that I got used to the Redlight District, and now it is hard to give it up. It is a very nice way to relax after a hard week.
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08-03-2005, 04:33 PM #16
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if u have a problem with this...i dont think u should have a girlfriend..unless she wants to get into that kind of stuff along with you...because that would just hurt her too much
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08-03-2005, 04:35 PM #17
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that's my point, sex addiction could not give u headaches, it's just in ur head. Originally Posted by Bigmac
ur mind plays tricks on u, telling that u gonna suffer this headache until u visit the redlight dis.
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08-03-2005, 04:39 PM #18
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1. WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION?
Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings and/or cope with their stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior/fantasy or they may have a binge of sexual behaviors.
2. WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME SEXUALLY ADDICTED?
This is different for every sex addict but generally speaking there are biological, psychological, and spiritual reasons. The following is a short explanation of each reason why someone can become a sex addict. The biological addict is someone who has conditioned their body to receive endorphins and enkephlines (brain chemicals) primarily through reinforcing a fantasy state with the ejaculation that provides these chemicals to their brain. Psychologically, the need to medicate or escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse can demand a substance, the early addict finds the sex medicine usually before alcohol or drugs. Spiritually, a person is filling up the God hole in them with their sexual addiction. The addiction is their spirituality, it comforts them, celebrates them and is always available and present. Then there is the sex addict who can be two or even three of the above reasons. This is why a specialist in sex addiction is the best route for recovery with sex addiction.
3. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX ADDICTION AND A HIGH SEX DRIVE?
I have heard this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on over the years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It's not about a fix for something; when their partner says "NO" it doesn't make them go off the handle thinking their partner is totally rejecting them and have to leave the house or act out in some other way. If you can relate to this the chances are there may be an addiction issue. You may benefit from any of the following books or tapes:
4. CAN YOU BE ADDICTED TO MASTURBATION?
Yes, this is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many of us will have on a repeated basis. This is usually where the sexual compulsion starts with sex addicts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active.
5. WHAT ROLE DOES PORNOGRAPHY PLAY IN SEX ADDICTION?
Pornography for many sex addicts combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone for most sex addicts. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behavior. The pornography with fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person.
6. CAN SOMEONE BE A SEX ADDICT AND NOT BE SEXUAL WITH THEIR SPOUSE OR COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?
YES! We call this later stage of sex addiction, sexual anorexia. In this stage of sex addiction, the addict prefers the fantasy world and fantasy sex with themselves or others instead of relational sex with their spouse or partner. The addict/anorexic avoids relational sex and hence this couple has sex infrequently and often at the partners request not the addict/anorexics.
7. WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LIVE WITH A SEX ADDICT FROM A PARTNER'S OR WIFE'S PERSPECTIVE?
The partners/wives of sex addicts report many similar feelings about living with the sex addict. The feeling of aloneness is a common experience with partners of sex addicts, the sense that he can't open up and tell you about his "real" self. The confusion of even after you do certain behaviors that this still is not enough and the hopelessness that there isn't enough. Anger for many different unmet needs as a person and as a woman are often common. There are many of these issues addressed in the following books and video.
8. CAN PARTNERS GET HELP EVEN IF THE SEX ADDICT DOESN'T?
Yes, even if the addict stays in denial of their addiction the partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will effect a person. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not. If you would like a telephone counseling appointment call (719) 278-3708 to get setup. The addiction was in no way your doing as a partner or wife, the addicts addiction started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to in any relationship. You can subscribe to our Partners Newsletter by clicking the NEWSLETTERS icon below.
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9. IS THERE RECOVERY FOR SEX ADDICTION?
Yes, there is recovery for sex addiction. This recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year but with guided help the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and even spiritual lives. I have seen marriages made better than they ever were and addicts live much happier lives than they ever thought possible. I have been in successful recovery over eleven years and I know it's available for those who choose to work for and maintain reco Newsletters
very. If you would like a telephone counseling appointment call (719) 278-3708 to get setup.
10. IS THERE RESEARCH ON SEX ADDICTION AVAILABLE?
There is research being done in the field of sexual addiction. The monitored mail list of Heart to Heart Counseling centers provides weekly research information as well as excerpts from 101 Practical Exercises for sexual addiction recovery as well as Twelve Step discussions. To subscribe go to:
11. CAN WOMEN BE SEX ADDICTED?
Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts including: masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. If you would like to set up a telephone counseling appointment to start your journey of recovery, call today. There is hope for female sex addicts to recovery.
12. IS THERE ANY WAY TO HELP OUR CHILDREN NOT BECOME SEXUALLY ADDICTED?
Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.) they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. Good Enough to Wait is the first video of this kind to help your children understand sex and the brain, the long-term affects of pornography, long term sexual satisfaction and a whole lot more. This is the best combination of sex research and spiritual principles to date for youth to watch to give them a proper and currently informed sex talk.
Havent read it so i cant verify if the info is correct..but it gives u a basic idea....
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08-03-2005, 04:48 PM #19
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on the internet u can find posts and articles that would support any idea u like. Originally Posted by IronFreakX
i bet u anything i can find half a dozen of sites that calims to have a prove that Jesus was a Gay or some other stupid thing like that.
in other words, all that is bullcrap some one wrote to justify their shit.
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08-03-2005, 04:51 PM #20
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Like i said i didnt read it all so i cant verify....but just because u havent had/expericend "it"( it being nething not neccesarly sex addiction..)..doesnt mean it doesnt exist...if u can over come those things by urself....thats gr8...I can too..i quit smoking &drinking alone...but some people cant.... Originally Posted by smokethedays
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08-03-2005, 04:51 PM #21
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I may be a sex addict
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08-03-2005, 04:52 PM #22
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I wish i had enough girls..i only have 1
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08-03-2005, 04:53 PM #23
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Originally Posted by chest6
Rosie is not a girl she is the palm of your hand 
j/k bro
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08-03-2005, 04:58 PM #24
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This all makes me very sick. I understand the fact of supporting someone who needs help, but CONDONING the cheating? C'mon!!!! Where's the humanity?
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08-03-2005, 04:59 PM #25
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I am completely amazed you even have to ask these questions.
Very interesting first 3 posts being that you are on a FITNESS board.
~SC~
Originally Posted by Bigmac
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08-03-2005, 05:01 PM #26
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THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Originally Posted by SwoleCat
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08-03-2005, 05:14 PM #27
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I think tapering off would screw w his blood levels. I say keep it at 2 asses a week ( Mon & Fri ), for the next 10 weeks. Originally Posted by 305GUY
JK, of course.
Seriously, this can be a bad addiction. I figure, as long as you're jimmy'd up, you're ok. I mean, there are worse addictions. Much worse.
Good Luck
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08-03-2005, 05:24 PM #28
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I used to get all worked up bout people cheating...but now (wether male or female so people dont get the wrong idea)...it doesnt matter...if it doesnt affect their lives...its ok....JMO.....relationships are wayyy overrated neway...all u need is sex &money
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08-03-2005, 06:00 PM #29
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Originally Posted by IronFreakX
...all u need is sex &money
Yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!
j/k
Financially, it's not interferring with my life. I can squeze it in my budget without sacrificing the necessary.
But not telling my girlfriend is eating me alive. I know it sounds studid to someone on the outside, who probably thinks it the most stupid thing to tell your girlfriend.
But I am living with it, and haven't told anybody. It is really eating me alive. And I don't think it is fair to my girlfriend. I am taking health risks, I shouldn't make her take these too without her knowing about it.
But I don't want the relationship to end, and I don't want to hurt her either.
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08-03-2005, 06:06 PM #30
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then seek therapy....cuz it sounds like it is affecting ur life....... Originally Posted by Bigmac
1 question..
no matter how many times u have sex with ur girl....u still want some from the outside rite???
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08-03-2005, 06:42 PM #31
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How about just growing up?
How old are you if I may ask?
Really, this is absurd.
~SC~
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08-03-2005, 07:04 PM #32
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Colossy wants to know how many US dollars is 200 euros.
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08-03-2005, 07:12 PM #33
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If your asking everyone if you think it is a problem then you too believe it is! Work on it with your mind/matter. With that type of exciting sex I imagine it is hard (no pun intended) to go back to just sex with the gf.
My gf stopped having sex with her husband bec. She said it was horriable , but she would have sex about 4x's a week with other guys that she would pick up or knew. She purposely was never with the same guy twice. She was totally out of control. It was like she was on a conquest or something. I think she either had sex addiction from years of sexual neglect (as she described it) or she has other issues. Wonder who she's doing tonight???
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08-03-2005, 07:12 PM #34
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about $250 Originally Posted by colossus1
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08-03-2005, 07:12 PM #35
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Originally Posted by SwoleCat
me like it long time
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08-03-2005, 07:15 PM #36
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i call bogus post
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08-03-2005, 07:16 PM #37
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Originally Posted by symatech
$250 for a an hour long threesome with girls that look like models.
I just added something to my "must do" list. Ill prabably throw in another hundred and make it 4 or 5 chicks.....lol.
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08-03-2005, 07:19 PM #38
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good call
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08-03-2005, 07:21 PM #39
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I feel allot of sexual tension in this thread...
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08-03-2005, 07:22 PM #40
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Two things I wont pay for straight out (cuz you always pay in the end), water and sex...
I also wont cheat, Instead ive got the balls to get up and leave.. No wonder you feel like a piece of shit for not telling her, she deserves to know...
Not only are you cheating on her, your exposing her to anything you might have been exposed to. And dont give me the "Its safe" bullshit, cuz she could have just gotten it from the junkie that hit it just before you did..
Not trying to be a dick, just giving you my honest opinion..
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