Sex After kids???

**Theatrix** · 08-09-2005, 03:05 PM

Some of you guys are older, are married or have been.

This isn't really a question about why some woman are no longer interested, as much as it is a question on your thoughts

I hung in there for 6 years and could't take it anymore. My ex thinks I'm a sex addict (silly) because I wanted it every day and had to beg for it. maybe got it once a month.

I waited until the kids were old enough to explain why their mother and were no longer compatible. We just don't see eye to eye on anything, but if the sex were good, I probably would have hung in there.

I see my kids every day. I am an important part of their lives. just can't live with their mother. Am I being selfish?

**TallB4Small** · 08-09-2005, 03:09 PM

How old were your kids when you left your wife?

**Theatrix** · 08-09-2005, 03:10 PM

10 and 8

**TallB4Small** · 08-09-2005, 03:12 PM

Its just rough on the kids man...
Im not gonna sit here and say your wrong though.

**CRUISECONTROL** · 08-09-2005, 03:12 PM

IMO If you talked with her about the issue and she refused to try to do anything about (taking meds, counseling, etc) then no you are not being selfish she is......

IMO..... once a month is ridiculos!!!!!

Were there any other reasons for the divorce or just that??????

**Maraxus** · 08-09-2005, 03:13 PM

No bro. Youre not being selfish. You have needs too, just like you comply to her needs, she should do the same. Dont you think you deserve to be happy?

**CRUISECONTROL** · 08-09-2005, 03:15 PM

By the way I comend you on staying an everyday part of your kids lifes.......

There are far too many dads that dont......

I am divorced (married almost 7 years) and am an everday part of my sons life and have exact 50/50 custody!!!!!

**TallB4Small** · 08-09-2005, 03:15 PM

Off subject, but were you taking test or anything during your marriage?
Cuz im taking 500mg a week right now... and i WANT it every hour on the hour.

**Theatrix** · 08-09-2005, 03:17 PM

She was becoming to needy. Or maybe always was, and we just grew apart. We could no longer agree on anything (I'm probably a type A and she isn't) I was also getting tired of having to explain why I needed to win. She saw that as a problem. How does one explain that drive to succeed and where it comes from? Why should you have to explain?

**305GUY** · 08-09-2005, 03:23 PM

You say you could have hung in there if you got sex more often, so i'm wondering how often you get some now?

**clockworks** · 08-09-2005, 03:27 PM

If you don't have a drive to succeed, what do you have? Nothing. I totally dig you on that.

"I'm tired of eeking my way though life."
-- Lloyd, Dumb and Dumber

I've dated a few girls who were perfectly happy eeking their way through life. They never wanted anything. Its weird...and it eventually sickened me.

I don't think you are being selfish at all. People change, people grow apart, its natural. It would probably be unnatural to force yourself to stay in a relationship that you aren't benefiting from.

Sexual relations are a HUGE part of relationships. If you are not sexually compatible, I think its time to move on and find someone new.

Pick up a progressive thinking book on relational psychology...it will make you feel better...

**Theatrix** · 08-09-2005, 03:28 PM

You say you could have hung in there if you got sex more often, so i'm wondering how often you get some now?

Hehe! That's what is bringing this up. I have a woman who likes the 7 day day a week plan (mornings and nights)

My ex is giving me a hard time now because she says I am a bad influence on the kids! You could say she is F@#king with my head!

**O.fO.shO** · 08-09-2005, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by Theatrix

Some of you guys are older, are married or have been.

This isn't really a question about why some woman are no longer interested, as much as it is a question on your thoughts

I hung in there for 6 years and could't take it anymore. My ex thinks I'm a sex addict (silly) because I wanted it every day and had to beg for it. maybe got it once a month.

I waited until the kids were old enough to explain why their mother and were no longer compatible. We just don't see eye to eye on anything, but if the sex were good, I probably would have hung in there.

I see my kids every day. I am an important part of their lives. just can't live with their mother. Am I being selfish?

Its a funny thing how once you have kids , your wants and needs effect others more than you . It cant be all about sex , if you really loved this woman i dont think you would have left her .

But bottom line is you have to live your life the way you feel it correct . You take right and wrong turns on that journy , but only you in the end can justify them . Most important your in your kids life no matter what you do , so i believe your not selfish .

**Jdawg50** · 08-09-2005, 04:00 PM

My wife and I have an 8 yr old, and my wife wants it more than I do. God she would go 2-3 times ed if she could. So i guess it just depends on the woman

**Theatrix** · 08-09-2005, 04:11 PM

Its a funny thing how once you have kids , your wants and needs effect others more than you . It cant be all about sex , if you really loved this woman i dont think you would have left her .

In an ideal world I guess this would be true. I grew up in home where my parents stayed together for my benefit. They argue dailey. I didn't want that for my children.

I should qualify my statement about being seeing my children dailey. My sons are now 14 and 16. They are fine young men. They work out with me 4 days week. They have become excellent students and great athletes.

My ex has never moved on. (Why should she, shes gets a ton of money from me every month and lives expense free in a mil dollar home)

But like I said, she continues to lay that guilt trip on me for leaving. And as you can tell, sometimes it works!

**CRUISECONTROL** · 08-09-2005, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by Jdawg50

My wife and I have an 8 yr old, and my wife wants it more than I do. God she would go 2-3 times ed if she could. So i guess it just depends on the woman

You go Boy!!!!!!

**decadbal** · 08-09-2005, 10:19 PM

just whack off to porn in front of her... that will piss her off and she will make u tag that ass

**Evil Predator** · 08-09-2005, 10:29 PM

A very good friend of mine ended up in the same situation after his daughter was born. He was going crazy. Turns out she was suffering from post partum whateveritis, and it can go on for years if untreated.

**8-MAN** · 08-10-2005, 09:11 AM

Man, that sux that she is mooching of you. That's the way the world works these days. Bitches suck you in with the sex and then once you put a ring on her finger...bam...no more nooky. I hope i don't get one of those.

Anyways, I think you made the right choice. You need to be happy man. Also, marriage IS mostly about sex. Otherwise two friends could go out and adopt a child and get the same benefits. But what do I know, I am still a youngster.

RA · 08-10-2005, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by Theatrix

Some of you guys are older, are married or have been.

This isn't really a question about why some woman are no longer interested, as much as it is a question on your thoughts

I hung in there for 6 years and could't take it anymore. My ex thinks I'm a sex addict (silly) because I wanted it every day and had to beg for it. maybe got it once a month.

I waited until the kids were old enough to explain why their mother and were no longer compatible. We just don't see eye to eye on anything, but if the sex were good, I probably would have hung in there.

I see my kids every day. I am an important part of their lives. just can't live with their mother. Am I being selfish?

No. I would do the same thing in your situation.

**Theatrix** · 08-10-2005, 09:32 AM

Hey guys, not feeling sorry for myself today. So the humor was appreciated!

We all make our own beds, and then......................

If I could write this chapter over, spend a little more time on a mental check list for compatibility, common interests, problem solving ability and the like.....

But hey, when you're young....................

Thanks, Bros.....its cool to have a network of guys (gals) with common interests!

**Heracles74** · 08-10-2005, 10:46 AM

no dude, your not being selfish. you gotta have what you want in a relationship - you need t obe happy. nobody is going to look out for you like you. Granted, its tough on kids, but if your not happy in the relationship, you are doing the kids no justince by staying if yo know it won't get better. JMO

**nevaenuf** · 08-10-2005, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by Theatrix

How does one explain that drive to succeed and where it comes from? Why should you have to explain?

I beleive that divorce should be the absolute last resort, but if you explored and talked about every other possible option that might make both of yall happy, then there isnt really much you can do about it, except be miserable for your whole life.

Im having the same problems at home. My lady thinks I should consintrate more on her and the kids, but I try to explain to that there will be plenty time for that when were older if I go out and make a life for us right now, while Im still kind of young.

**Booz** · 08-10-2005, 11:40 AM

at the end of the day mate if you are not happy in the relationship wats the point of bein unhappy for the rest of your life?you only get 1 chance here mate not worth bein a sad f*ck,be happy and if that means you had to leave her and the kids it had to be,at least you still see the kids,are you happier in yourself now youv left?thats the question,if yes then you did the right thing.