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Thread: Redneck church

  1. #1
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
    CRUISECONTROL is offline Post Whore Extraordinaire Cruising On Autopilot
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    Redneck church

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering, "five guys and two women stand up.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    Baptism is referred to as "branding".

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ...
    The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"

  2. #2
    Maraxus's Avatar
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    Another long ass joke. Jesus Christ.

  3. #3
    BG's Avatar
    BG
    BG is online now The Real Deal - AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
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    I didnt think about reading this one, one a day max!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Maraxus
    Another long ass joke. Jesus Christ.

  4. #4
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Sorry Maraxus I'll post a short one in just a minute

  5. #5
    8-MAN's Avatar
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    good one

  6. #6
    skiing is offline Associate Member
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    You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
    A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)

    funny sheit man. ski a great winter

  7. #7
    Maraxus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    Sorry Maraxus I'll post a short one in just a minute
    waiting...

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