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  1. #161
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    LAW
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    Women with fresh makeup & perfumed (you can smell them a mile away). They sit on the machines and chat on their cell phone while wearing the Louie Voutton work out clothes. Geez

  2. #162
    WelshWarrior's Avatar
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    I noticed another 2 today:
    1) Blokes who train in flip-flops
    2) Blokes who wear skimpy loose shorts that leave stray nuts flopping out either side.

  3. #163
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    How 'bout this? A twiggy dude doing lateral raises using far too much wieght, every rep he stands up on his tippy toes and grunts using all momentum to raise the dumbells. Pathetic. I got tired just watching him.

  4. #164
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    I dont know what the stupidest thing that Ive seen lately is but I know that I F@cking hate the teenage groupie kids that come to the gym to socialize and talk about everyone else. The other day I was finishing up my chest workout with some weighted dips and three of those F#ckers walk by and when they get a ways away I hear them say. "That guys too big for himself.. He must be on steroids " Well how about you mind your own business you little punk @ss f#cker. I felt like picking up a 5 pound plate and using it as a frisbee to take off one of their heads. This is the reason why I wear headphones to the gym. Unfortunately my MP3 player took a crap on my and my new one hasnt come in the mail yet. And yes I have anger management problems.

  5. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by WelshWarrior
    I noticed another 2 today:
    1) Blokes who train in flip-flops
    2) Blokes who wear skimpy loose shorts that leave stray nuts flopping out either side.
    Holy Sh!t.....thats effin histerical. Every Gym has them. Nothing like a shot of brain to ruin a workout.

  6. #166
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    Yeah I see those guys in their flip flops. Just waiting on one of them to drop a 45 on their foot. What about the guys who walk aroung the gym thugged out with their pants sagging on their knees like their hanging out on a street corner?

  7. #167
    Power Viking is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    what p!sses me off is that for some unkown reason all the so called fitness instructors at my gym tell all the new members to these stupid exercises

    i keep meaning to have a word with one of them about it but i'll probably just end up in an argument

    At my old gym there were some 15 year olds who were doing the squats all wrong. They were tipping forward, and one guy even lost his balance and stumbled forward into the safety rack.

    Well, as the nice guy that I am I offered them some pointers if they were interested. They said yes and I told them some basic stuff like:
    If you have problems balancing the weight, try moving the feet a little further apart and angle the toes outwards.
    Keep your back straight and your eyes up, that`ll help you stay erect.
    Just basic stuff.
    I also told them that I personally liked box squats because then you are forced to have proper technique coming off the box or you`ll see your weakness right away. Also the box makes sure you always go far enough down.

    Well, the guys thanked me and followed my tips and all was well.
    Enter the instructor bitch!
    She went on and on saying "you`re not supposed to be handing out advice, you`re not employed here, I am" and "your advises are stupid too, no one else does box squats here".
    I remained calm and told here that maybe noone here did box squats, but that one of the most accomplished powerlifting gyms in the world does them more or less exclusivly and that I only said that I PERSONALLY liked them.

    She still wouldn`t stop whining about me offering advice, like I`d stepped on her turf or something, and she would constantly be on my back from that day on. If I left the bar for two seconds to go for a piss she`d be "you have to take off the plates when you`re finished". She would even stand next to me and count down the seconds until closing time and even said "my watch is ten now, so I don`t care what the clock on the wall says".

    And they say testosteron makes you irretable, aggresive and unreasonable. Yeah, right!

  8. #168
    TallMan is offline Associate Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Power Viking
    At my old gym there were some 15 year olds who were doing the squats all wrong. They were tipping forward, and one guy even lost his balance and stumbled forward into the safety rack.

    Well, as the nice guy that I am I offered them some pointers if they were interested. They said yes and I told them some basic stuff like:
    If you have problems balancing the weight, try moving the feet a little further apart and angle the toes outwards.
    Keep your back straight and your eyes up, that`ll help you stay erect.
    Just basic stuff.
    I also told them that I personally liked box squats because then you are forced to have proper technique coming off the box or you`ll see your weakness right away. Also the box makes sure you always go far enough down.

    Well, the guys thanked me and followed my tips and all was well.
    Enter the instructor bitch!
    She went on and on saying "you`re not supposed to be handing out advice, you`re not employed here, I am" and "your advises are stupid too, no one else does box squats here".
    I remained calm and told here that maybe noone here did box squats, but that one of the most accomplished powerlifting gyms in the world does them more or less exclusivly and that I only said that I PERSONALLY liked them.

    She still wouldn`t stop whining about me offering advice, like I`d stepped on her turf or something, and she would constantly be on my back from that day on. If I left the bar for two seconds to go for a piss she`d be "you have to take off the plates when you`re finished". She would even stand next to me and count down the seconds until closing time and even said "my watch is ten now, so I don`t care what the clock on the wall says".

    And they say testosteron makes you irretable, aggresive and unreasonable. Yeah, right!

    what a cunt !

  9. #169
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    yeah what is it with guys and flip flops - apart from the fact they look cr"p and shouldnt be worn anywhere apart from the beach IMO - they are also unsafe and they shouldnt even be allowed in the gym like that

  10. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by Power Viking
    I also told them that I personally liked box squats because then you are forced to have proper technique coming off the box or you`ll see your weakness right away. Also the box makes sure you always go far enough down.
    This should be a sticky in the exercise forum. Truer words were never spoken.

    But back to your telling her majesty the f*cking trainer's students how to squat... never try to teach a pig how to sing, it is frustrating and it annoying the sh*t out of the pig.

  11. #171
    TallMan is offline Associate Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by znak
    This should be a sticky in the exercise forum. Truer words were never spoken.

    But back to your telling her majesty the f*cking trainer's students how to squat... never try to teach a pig how to sing, it is frustrating and it annoying the sh*t out of the pig.
    WTF? pigs can't sing ?

  12. #172
    Samson1 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Power Viking
    I`ve done way more stupid things than that, my friend.

    Once, when I was young and retarded, I did some sissy aparatus to work the inside of my thighs. No, that`s not the stupid thing I was gonna tell you about, there`s actually more.
    I had to get some really thin 25k plates as the machine didn`t have enough weights for me.

    Well, it turned out that the only pair of thin, 25K metal plates had been used on the leg press machine, and someone had loaded it with about 300 kgs with the plates I was looking for way in the back.

    So I start unload one side plate by plate (yeah, you all know where this is going, don`t ya?).
    After removing all the plates on one side I finally get one of the metal 25kgs I`m looking for. I had enough sense to pause and see if the leg press machine was going to tip over, but after looking at it for a few seconds without seeing any movement I conclude that it`s probably bolted to the floor so I start moving away.

    After walking about 10 meters my friend shouts something and I hear the loudest ****ing crash ever.
    Now, this is one of these really old leg press machines from the 70s. The one made out of nothing but really heavy metal and its now tipped on its side and stuck to a stack of plates weighing about 150kgs. The machine in itself probably weighs another 150 kgs.

    Me and my friend found out that we had to grab the machine and pull like there was no tomorrow. Then, when we had gotten it a few inches above ground we had to wiggle it so that bar in the machine got out of the hole in the lowest plate. Then the next one and so on.

    After dragging that infernal piece of shit all over the gym, leaving a nice fan shape trail of plates in our wake we were able to raise the machine, have the sled fall off the rail and smash my hand *SON OF A.....* and drag the beast back in its place.
    It was a workout in itself, took about 45 minutes I reckon.
    I laughed my ass off when i read this great story mate wins this thread lol, I can just see it now cracks me up, the only thing I have ever done like that is on the lat pull down,I had the heavy wide bar on and i went down pulled the pin out to change the weight and the bar smacked me in the head lol, man everone seen i was well emabased id only been traning a couple of months.

  13. #173
    Tom_k_999 is offline Junior Member
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    Its funny whatching new people coming into the gym and weighng them selves, then they do like 2 sets od Dumbell curls then they weigh them selves again to see if their heavier then they do a couple of sets on the bench press then they weigh them selves again. Or some people come in do like a few tricep curls which takes a few minutes and their like thats it for the day hard day at the gym.

  14. #174
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    How about when you position yourself away from everyone and leave little room between you and the mirror you are facing. Inevitably there will be someone who squeezes between you and the mirror while you are really forcing out the last couple of tough reps.

    or the people who ask you if you are almost done with the bench while you are straining on your last few reps. nothing kills my concentration quicker. If they would have waited another couple seconds you could acommidate them.

  15. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soup
    How about when you position yourself away from everyone and leave little room between you and the mirror you are facing. Inevitably there will be someone who squeezes between you and the mirror while you are really forcing out the last couple of tough reps.

    or the people who ask you if you are almost done with the bench while you are straining on your last few reps. nothing kills my concentration quicker. If they would have waited another couple seconds you could acommidate them.

    thats never happened to me - you must have some really irritating gym members

  16. #176
    TallMan is offline Associate Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soup
    How about when you position yourself away from everyone and leave little room between you and the mirror you are facing. Inevitably there will be someone who squeezes between you and the mirror while you are really forcing out the last couple of tough reps.

    or the people who ask you if you are almost done with the bench while you are straining on your last few reps. nothing kills my concentration quicker. If they would have waited another couple seconds you could acommidate them.
    man, that's so irritating! I learned myself to ignore everything while busy with a set.

    I just read on another board where they also have a topic like this one going on
    about someone who had seen an old guy using a hairblower to dry his balsack after showering

  17. #177
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    i ve saw some dude doing arm curls on the hamsring curl machine, retarted.there is also some crazy bitch that jumps up and down skips and basicly buggs out when shes runnin on the tread mill funny shit .so much crazy shit i seen in my gym over the years ive seen kids get thrown out for fighting stupid shit .

  18. #178
    G-Force's Avatar
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    i just got back from the gym and did something pretty stupid

    was doing my final set of squats with my heaviest weight
    was half way up on my 9th rep and got stuck at the half way mark - i had no spotter and frankly had never been in this situation before so panicked and shrugged the weight off my shoulders and fell back on my Arse

    the noise it made when 150Kg hit the floor was horrific - the whole gym came to a stop to see me lying on my arse and the bar then rolling back onto my hand

    i have hurt my arse, hand and mostly my pride

    actually to be honest i couldnt really give a sh!t

  19. #179
    Power Viking is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_k_999
    Its funny whatching new people coming into the gym and weighng them selves, then they do like 2 sets od Dumbell curls then they weigh them selves again to see if their heavier then they do a couple of sets on the bench press then they weigh them selves again. Or some people come in do like a few tricep curls which takes a few minutes and their like thats it for the day hard day at the gym.

    Some people seem to think that the physique of Arnold in his prime is just a basic gym membership and a half assed effort for a year away.

    When people say shit like "I don`t want to look like a body builder" they are basically saying that they think their stupid 3X10 workout three times a week will make them grow so fast that they`ll end up with huge pecs and a six pack by accident.

    A good reply to something like that would be:
    "Don`t worry. If you quit your job to work out full time, use all your money on steroids and food supplements and never eat an unhealthy meal again you`d still wouldn`t be close to looking like a BB.
    Saying you`re afraid to look like a builder with your effort is like saying you`re afraid you might be in the shape of Lance Armstrong if you ride your bike to the grocery store instead of driving your car".

  20. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by Power Viking
    Some people seem to think that the physique of Arnold in his prime is just a basic gym membership and a half assed effort for a year away.

    When people say shit like "I don`t want to look like a body builder" they are basically saying that they think their stupid 3X10 workout three times a week will make them grow so fast that they`ll end up with huge pecs and a six pack by accident.
    thats so true, i hear people say that all the time

  21. #181
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    How about when you position yourself away from everyone and leave little room between you and the mirror you are facing. Inevitably there will be someone who squeezes between you and the mirror while you are really forcing out the last couple of tough reps.
    Get a lot of that at my gym, too. There's overhead spot lighting and if you're directly underneath a spotlight it enhances definition. As a result loads of people cluster around underneath them trying to make themselves look buff. Reminds me of moths.

  22. #182
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    The guy who looks fairly good and then gets a girlfriend and blows up like a blimp, or the jerkoff who gets pissed when someone jumps on the machine he is using while using two other machines in the gym. There's another guy at my gym that smells like he bathes in an italian hoagie every morning. The new guy copletely out of shape decked out in all new gym clothes belt you cant see through his belly an lifting gloves, but neglected to buy a towel to wipe his sweat off of everything.

  23. #183
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    About 2 years ago there was this gay guy that every body noticed,he would come in turn on one of the TV's to a music chanel,man you were in for a show,he would then dance around like a fvckin ice skayer,I've seen some pretty stupid and crazy sh1t before but I have never seen anything like that at a gym before,don't know what ever happened to our little dancing buddy,but we still talk about about it like it was yesterday.

  24. #184
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    [QUOTE=Seattle Junk]How bout the punching dumbells? It seems to be the older dudes or the real young, new dudes doing that one. Maybe they're watching the older dudes? You know, they take 10-15lb dumbells and look in the mirror while shadow boxing using jabs. What body part does that work? Is that really a training excercise for boxers? If so, please educate me.[/QUOTE

    its like jogging with weighted ankle straps, for strenth i asume

  25. #185
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmillett
    About 2 years ago there was this gay guy that every body noticed,he would come in turn on one of the TV's to a music chanel,man you were in for a show,he would then dance around like a fvckin ice skayer,I've seen some pretty stupid and crazy sh1t before but I have never seen anything like that at a gym before,don't know what ever happened to our little dancing buddy,but we still talk about about it like it was yesterday.
    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    thats some funny a55 shit i wish i could have seen that

  26. #186
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    the guys that come up to you, ask you your workout routine... and then the wierd look on their face when they realise you jus told em u do each bodypart only once a week... they look at u as though you're crazy!

  27. #187
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    the fat cunt who leaves the log in the toilet for all to see

  28. #188
    toiletcake is offline New Member
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    This one goes out to this dipshit today in the gym. He looks as if he has never worked out in his life. But hes done so much juice with no prior experiance that hes full of red stretch marks under his arms and is a complete mess. His lats are sticking out but there is no form. Hes fat and out of shape, He had no business even touching roids with no foundation to build on. To top it off he walks around with his arms by his side but sticking them way put, like hes so big. What an ass-face.

  29. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by toiletcake
    This one goes out to this dipshit today in the gym. He looks as if he has never worked out in his life. But hes done so much juice with no prior experiance that hes full of red stretch marks under his arms and is a complete mess. His lats are sticking out but there is no form. Hes fat and out of shape, He had no business even touching roids with no foundation to build on. To top it off he walks around with his arms by his side but sticking them way put, like hes so big. What an ass-face.
    Yep, one of the "trainers" at my gym is just like that. I think he was on a one year dbol cycle and he looked like shit. Big puffy with no legs and a fast food moon face. He either ran out of money or had some serious sides cuz now he's skinny as hell and looks like a 14 year old boy. He use to always stare me down but now he just walks by meek. French fries are not complex carbs....

  30. #190
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    They're a few people in the gym that annoy me..

    1. The Crazy Asian boys - Alright.. these two asian guys wear shirts with rolled up sleeves to show off these scars they have around their delts and triceps... they snicker at people when they're not looking... they walka round like they're bad asses with 225 lbs on the bench, and they can't even get that for 8.

    2. Dumb cops - A group of cops tend to work out in the mornings... they are real sleeze bags.. they have to hit on every girl they see.. and they have the worst pick up lines ever....

    " Sleezy cop: Hey honey.. what ya wearing... ?
    Girl: Its cinnimon scented perfume my boyfriend bought me.
    Sleezy cop: Oh.. yea... ehehe.. cinnimon is my FAVORITE fruit...

    5 minutes later
    SLeezy cop2: Hey um.. dale... cinnimon isn't a fruit...
    Sleezy cop: Well.. it GROWS FROM THE GROUND , DON'T IT ?!

    Sleezy cop also likes to put on 315 on the bar.. then he puts a squat pad on the bar, and proceeds to bench it for a rep or two, grunting the whole time... then him and his buds just stare at me and my dad when we put on 315, and rep it for 8.. they tend to leave the room when 405 is put on the bar...

    3. Little guys - These guys are weak, with pencil like biceps and toothpicks for wrists.. when new guys join the gym, they talk shit about them. For example.. say there is a new guy to the gym, and he's fat.. all the little guys will talk about their BF%'s... then they do curls with a set of 20 lbs dumbells and call it a night. Oh, and one of them claims to be this hard ass bouncer. He also says he's a security guard for ludacris and sevendust... bare in mind.. this guy weighs about 145 lbs, and thats all bone and no meat.

    4. Lamers - I see these guys come in... they start with 185... first off.. the guy benching cannot budge the weight at all on his own.. so he gets his friend to give him a lift off.. as soon as he gets the bar over his chest... the weight comes down and hits him in the stomach, and the weights go flying off one end of the bar, then the bar quickly tilts and hits the ground... " DAMN.. I GOT THIS TWO MONTHS AGO... FOR REPS.. ! " Every time the guy comes in.. this happens

    5. I am a gangsta - yea.. hard core for life, true thug.. with my uneven 225 bench press. yea.. I don't care that the weights are uneven.. and in about a minute.. I am going to be stuck under this weight.. screaming... thats hard core man.. of one of your weights isn't almost coming off the bar.. then you're weak...

    6. The Crazy Lesbians - One day.. I am benching.. I hear this " GURGHAAA .. .URGHAAA ". I am thinking to myself.. damn.. a new dude must be here.. and he must be big.... I finish my set... and look over to where the sound is coming from.. I see this roided up.. thing... pounding away at hammer curls.. veins are everywhere... then I recognize the woman, she use to be a regular, she had left for awhile and came back looking huge... and nothing like a woman. She would grunt whenever she lifted, like she wanted people to notice the change in the depth of her voice.

  31. #191
    SensP is offline Associate Member
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    lmao! This shit is too funny. No stories for me. I work out in the garage. People suck.

  32. #192
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    I seen it all last night.
    Some dude leaned into the mirror and busted a zit, then smeared the zit puss all over the mirror with his finger nail.
    gross.

  33. #193
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    In the locker room infront of every one this pencil thin guy drops his shorts grabs a tissue and procedes to wipe his swamp ass and throw the tissue in the trash. That is when I changed gyms

  34. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soup
    In the locker room infront of every one this pencil thin guy drops his shorts grabs a tissue and procedes to wipe his swamp ass and throw the tissue in the trash. That is when I changed gyms
    That is i swear the nastyist thing ever..I caught some dude at work doing that shit (lets just say it wasnt the bathroom), I had to fiar his ass..thats just so disgusting, i cannot put up with that kinda mess.. dogs have more morals then that...

  35. #195
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soup
    In the locker room infront of every one this pencil thin guy drops his shorts grabs a tissue and procedes to wipe his swamp ass and throw the tissue in the trash. That is when I changed gyms
    If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom throwing up.

    That is really sick!

  36. #196
    gaza is offline New Member
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    A list, some you may have heard before

    The guys who must get half price gym membership because they only ever do half the range of movement on every exercise

    The 3 skinny 19 year olds with the same hair cuts who think they are in a boy band, wondering round the free weights getting in the way then disapear off to a Body Pump class

    Lat pull downs that turn into a tricep press .... (I hate that one)

    The guy trying to do chins that just wiggles around like a fish out of water and only moves up 3 inches.

    Women who weigh them selves before and after every training session and get excited when they drop 1 pound (I can lose 4 going for a cR@p)

    Women who use dumbells lighter than their hand bags

    Women who say "Im not lifting weights, I dont want to get big muscles"

    Guys that do not train legs so they wear baggy pants but tight tank tops.

    Guys who wear 5 sweat shirts even in the summer to look bigger

    People that go through their "Health Club" stretch routine, stretch their legs, then do bench press!

    Health club exercises like squats against a fit ball, against the wall with a small ball gripped between the knees.

  37. #197
    mizuno is offline Junior Member
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    when u pay 55$ a mth to belong to the nicest gym in town and that gym buys the sleazist gym in town shuts it down for 2 mths so all the sleaze from the other gym flows into yours for 1/2 the price for 2 mths. meaning there aint SHIT left on the floor cause it is ALWAYS taken up. then the management not compensating for the extra people by getting some air moving in the gym. i swear the oxygen literaly is gone from the gym at 5 o clock on mondays.

  38. #198
    Power Viking is offline Banned
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    Another thing I did which must have looked quite stupid:

    Well, I was going to do some box squats with bands. Of course I use the blue bands for that.
    I had just joined that gym and found out that they didn`t have dumbells heavy enough to hold my bands down. I had to two 100 lbs dumbells, the heaviest ones are about 80 lbs (yeah, I know, it sucks).

    I decided to wrap the bands around some bars that run along of the rack to support it. You know, that contraption thingy that they put up in the same height as your hip. Nice place to put your bar between rows, and if you`re really short you can use it like a power rack, except you can`t adjust the ****ers as they are integrated parts of the rack.

    Well, I wrapped the bands and proceeded to unrack the bar. Unfortunelately the tension of the bands were stronger than the weight of the rack holding itself down, so when I unracked the bar the rack started tilting.
    Of course me walking towards the rack to rack the weight did no good as the bands got tighter the more I moved away from them (and towards the rack).

    So the more I tried to lean into the rack, the further the rack tilted away from me. Fortunelately the rack was placed pretty close to the wall, so this "dance" only went about a foot or so. Still, the sound of the rack hitting the mirror attached to the wall was enough to make everyone in the gym notice me. I always wanted my squats to turn heads, but not like this.
    I know make sure that I have at least two plates weighing down the rack before squatting with bands.

  39. #199
    znak's Avatar
    znak is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Power Viking
    Another thing I did which must have looked quite stupid:

    Well, I was going to do some box squats with bands. Of course I use the blue bands for that.
    I had just joined that gym and found out that they didn`t have dumbells heavy enough to hold my bands down. I had to two 100 lbs dumbells, the heaviest ones are about 80 lbs (yeah, I know, it sucks).

    I decided to wrap the bands around some bars that run along of the rack to support it. You know, that contraption thingy that they put up in the same height as your hip. Nice place to put your bar between rows, and if you`re really short you can use it like a power rack, except you can`t adjust the ****ers as they are integrated parts of the rack.

    Well, I wrapped the bands and proceeded to unrack the bar. Unfortunelately the tension of the bands were stronger than the weight of the rack holding itself down, so when I unracked the bar the rack started tilting.
    Of course me walking towards the rack to rack the weight did no good as the bands got tighter the more I moved away from them (and towards the rack).

    So the more I tried to lean into the rack, the further the rack tilted away from me. Fortunelately the rack was placed pretty close to the wall, so this "dance" only went about a foot or so. Still, the sound of the rack hitting the mirror attached to the wall was enough to make everyone in the gym notice me. I always wanted my squats to turn heads, but not like this.
    I know make sure that I have at least two plates weighing down the rack before squatting with bands.
    LMFAO... I can see this.

  40. #200
    dirtyvegas's Avatar
    dirtyvegas is offline Senior Member
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    Thats hella funny dude lmao i love seeing people doing dumb shit like that.. did you break the mirror..?

    Quote Originally Posted by Power Viking
    .

    I decided to wrap the bands around some bars that run along of the rack to support it. You know, that contraption thingy that they put up in the same height as your hip. Nice place to put your bar between rows, and if you`re really short you can use it like a power rack, except you can`t adjust the ****ers as they are integrated parts of the rack.

    Well, I wrapped the bands and proceeded to unrack the bar. Unfortunelately the tension of the bands were stronger than the weight of the rack holding itself down, so when I unracked the bar the rack started tilting.
    Of course me walking towards the rack to rack the weight did no good as the bands got tighter the more I moved away from them (and towards the rack).

    So the more I tried to lean into the rack, the further the rack tilted away from me. Fortunelately the rack was placed pretty close to the wall, so this "dance" only went about a foot or so. Still, the sound of the rack hitting the mirror attached to the wall was enough to make everyone in the gym notice me. I always wanted my squats to turn heads, but not like this.
    I know make sure that I have at least two plates weighing down the rack before squatting with bands.

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