08-22-2005, 03:04 AM #1
Yet another thread about a chick...advice?
Like so many others it's about a girl (I hear all of you groaning), but since I've never been in this situation I'm confused as to what to do. This will be long, but I hope you can drudge through it b/c I really need some good advice here.
Ok. I'm a shift worker that works 12-hr day and night shifts as part of a team. There's a chick that works the same position I do, though on a different shift, so there's usually not much chance to talk with her long except when one of us is relieving the other, so sometimes a couple minutes, sometimes 10-15.
The weird thing is that I wasn't even attracted to her in the beginning (we've both worked here a little over a year now). She's tall, about 6'1" (I'm about 6'2"), and I'm not into tall women. Most guys have that mental checklist of women they wanna sleep with at least once, and one of mine was a tall woman. Well I did it a few years back, and it turned me off of them (the whole physical dominance thing that I love was not there). She was just "cute" to me. Plus because of the nature of my job, dating a co-worker would be a bad idea so I've always steered away from that b/c of the potential pitfalls if it ends badly.
Over the last several months, an attraction has started from my end and I think I'm getting signals from her but am not sure. Usually I'm very upfront and confident, but b/c of the situation I'm double-guessing myself with everything, and this hasn't happened to me since I met my ex almost 10 years ago. I think I'm getting signals.. for example, she put highlights in her hair once when she first started working here, then took them out a few weeks later. A couple months ago I mention, "Hey, remember when you had those highlights? Why'd you take them out, they looked damn good on you." Two days later I come back into work, and guess what? Yep, she had them back in. I didn't say anything b/c I didn't want to cross over that line and thought I was getting close to it.
Once in a rare while we'll have the same shift, and we've had a few conversations about relationships etc. She told me about these guys at work who've hit on her, creeped her out by finding out where she lives and leaving gifts at her doorstep, asking her in letters or emails if she'd like to go out, just cowardly stuff. She said straight out that if a guy is gonna ask her, at least have the balls to ask her to her face..and besides, they weren't her type b/c she likes taller, stronger guys anyway, then locks eyes with me a few seconds before changing the topic. Hmm.
But then I try to call her a couple times about work-related stuff (one was a project we were working on together), though we haven't talked to each other off-duty up until now, and both times I get her voice mail and leave messages. No call-backs either time. When I see her at work, she's the first to bring it up. The first time she said she didn't recognize my number and was also exercising, and the second time I called she said she was at the pool. ?! Do either of those have anything to do with not calling me back at some point if she was the slightest bit interested? And yet there's another chick at work who's been talking to me and everyone thinks is interested, and when I bring that girl up in conversation with her, she rolls her eyes and makes some cutting remark about her. So then I think she may be interested b/c she doesn't like the idea of me hooking up with this other girl. Can you see why I might be confused as hell at this point? I can't deny my attraction to her though, and it's pretty strong though I can hide it pretty well. I think she likes my whole flirty but don't give a crap attitude, probably not something she's used to since most guys fawn all over her.
I'll be straight-up, she's the big hottie where I work and she always gets attention so I'm wondering if it's even worth the potential hassle. Yet she always hits me in the shoulder if she's just walking by with a big smile on her face, or always playfully insulting me (and me her) and there's always that bit of flirtation. I feel like a freakin' 8 year old at recess with a girl I like and I'm not used to this.
The workplace is a big pool of gossipers, and I know for a fact that if I decide to move in and get a big DENIED when I try, she's inevitable going to tell someone, who will tell 2 other people, and pretty soon I'll be known as the guy who got shot down. So with these confusing signals I'm getting (and her not calling me back when she's not working still has me wondering if she's just a big tease) I'm at a loss here. Neither of us has tried anything direct yet.
She's a big social butterfly, but when it comes to asking her out she intimidates everyone so I think she's tired of guys being meek around her. Should I play it safe and not take any chances, or should I "have some balls" and just be blunt with her and tell her I'm taking her out this weekend and to be ready at 8:00?
Tease, or interested? Whaddya think???
08-22-2005, 05:36 AM #2
see heres the thing.....
if you think she is worth trying to go further with....
which means like asking her on date and so on.......
well go ahead cause you will never find out if you dont take the chance.............
and you will always be wondering.........
i think you should sit her straight down and talk to her bout it.... what you think of her and so on......
and see if she feels the same if not ....
tell her i dont want you to feel all weird and funny later ....
if you are not interested......
and you are getting all these thoughts in your head...
that you dont even know if they are true.... untill you go ahead and find out.........
otherwise this will drive you mad thinking what if......... and so on......
on other hand if you decide you dont want to open up yourself to her...
you will have to try to move on...
which i think will be quiet hard ... i think the best way of doing that is...
to try keep your conversations to a minimum nice and simple.........
so you dont get all the complicated and get thoughts in your head..
08-22-2005, 07:29 AM #3
You need to drop that one like a hot potato bro...looking at it from the outside..she is playing with you..for attention because your not like the other guys..keep it that way and dont feed into her game,because you will loose..unles you keep the ball in your court...if she wanted you, you would know it....move on..it's always about what you can't have, so until she's knocking on your door with her panties in her hand, your wasting your time.
08-22-2005, 10:12 AM #4
Be confident to the point of cocky...
But dont be sexist, bitches hate that shit
08-22-2005, 10:33 AM #5
dawg, you just gotta be up front. ask her out. no b.s. no games, just a direct question. you cant be worried about rejection. think how bad your gonna feel if she starts seeing someone else before you take a shot. if you get shot down, no biggie, she'll respect you for asking and if she doesnt, then she wasnt worth dating in the first place. good luck.
08-22-2005, 11:02 AM #6
women suck.. we send wrong signals.. learn it now and deal with it
08-22-2005, 11:20 AM #7
Woman from work place? Don't touch! Go away as fast as possible! If it ever works, when you break up you'll hate your job forever!
08-22-2005, 11:29 AM #8
Ignore her completely, if she had wanted to talk to you she would have returned your calls.
08-22-2005, 11:47 AM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2005
If you come across that you can't be had by her ..its drives girls crazy and they want you so bad after that....any girl that denies that is lying.
08-22-2005, 01:35 PM #10
I think if she really wants you, she definatly would have called you back... But that doesnt mean she wont go for you... Im very wierd like that too.. All the girls I like, i act like Im still in junior high, shy, dont know what to say, ect... And all the girls that I dont want, im myself, outgoing, fun and they all like me... Its like when I dont care what people think ,im myself.. When I care what people think about me, i second guess myself and dont know what to say... It could be that this girl is like how I am to the girls I dont like.. Flirty, but mybee just more overly friendly.. Id proceed with caution.. But dont care what other people think besides her.. Its none of there bussiness and if they make it there bussiness then there the ones with the problems....
BTW.. Last year I met this awsome girl, smart, hot, nice, friendly to everyone... And I pretty much had her as a GF, but I never had the balls to ask her out... And I regreat it to this day.. But since then, I learned that and did have the balls to ask 2 other girls out and both said YES... So I now have the confindence and balls to ask girls out to there face... So every girl, every situation, learn from it and react and you will soon meet the girl you will marry...GL
08-22-2005, 07:58 PM #11Originally Posted by G-13
08-22-2005, 08:00 PM #12
Too long and no pictures !!
08-22-2005, 08:04 PM #13Originally Posted by BigGuns101
ADD kicking in?
08-22-2005, 08:28 PM #14Originally Posted by goodcents
08-22-2005, 08:45 PM #15
hm my ex gf whos apartment im at right now is 6 1 and im 6 2 aint nuthin wrong w that.....i would ignore her for awhile tho
08-22-2005, 09:28 PM #16Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
"We are an entire generation of men raised by women....I'm wondering if another woman is the answer we need."
Last edited by Keyser Sozey; 08-22-2005 at 11:32 PM.
08-22-2005, 10:29 PM #17Female Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2004
- Running through your mind
Hmm...I say stick it in her butt, and videotape the whole damn thing...and later use it as black mail...
Whoops, did I say that? What I MEANT to say was, IF you really do like her...grow some f*n BALLS and ask her out! Be a fvckin man!
08-23-2005, 12:50 AM #18
[QUOTE=PaRiS2005]Hmm...I say stick it in her butt, and videotape the whole damn thing...and later use it as black mail...
hm i like this idea
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