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  1. #1
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
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    Damn I feel good

    Those that have read my post through out the years probably remember the realy depressing posts I used to post and in what a horrible place I was in mentaly a LONG time.

    Now this year slowely the several year long depression has been gradualy lifted from me and these last 3-4 months or so(with a short relaps when my economy went to hell and the rent and shit)I have feelt SO good. Its truly amazing to feel happy again after beeing depressed for so long. I cant even remember last time I feelt as good as I have been feeling lately. If I ever have.
    The best thing is that I overcame my depression and anxiety without meds!! I was lucky that I saw what negative downward spirals the people around me fell into because of ssri and anxiety medication and Im glad my only personal experience with such meds was so horrible that I vowed to never touch them again.

    I have shared my grief on this board and now I wanted to share my joy To everyone out there that is suffering from depressions just battle it through sooner or later you will beat it. Things always become better in the end

  2. #2
    MatrixGuy's Avatar
    MatrixGuy is offline Good things come to those who wait
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    Great post bro. I want to congratulate you on your success I myself take SSRI's and have done for many years. In some ways i believe they make you worse. I am slowly coming off mine now.
    How did you manage to get through it without the meds bro?

  3. #3
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    glad to hear that youv come through watever was affectin you and your through the otherside!

  4. #4
    collar's Avatar
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    its good to hear johan........

    everytime i get into depression i will come and read this post......
    or feeling down......
    to see there is always way out....... and things will improve.........

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    The best thing is that I overcame my depression and anxiety without meds!!

    True Soldier... i hear its the toughest thing

  6. #6
    GREENMACHINE's Avatar
    GREENMACHINE is offline Are you green enough?
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    Congrats Johan.

  7. #7
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MatrixGuy
    Great post bro. I want to congratulate you on your success I myself take SSRI's and have done for many years. In some ways i believe they make you worse. I am slowly coming off mine now.
    How did you manage to get through it without the meds bro?
    Thanks bro.

    I guess I struggled to lay a positive foundation in my mind. I had a VERY negative thought pattern concering myself and after I had noticed that I struggled all the time to force myself to abolish negative thoughts and nurture a positive mindset. Whenever a negative thougth went through my mind I stoped everything, forced it out of my mind and forced myself to think a good though. Like if I think "damn Im uggly" I would force that away and think "hell Im prettier then brad pit". Thats the basic of it.

    Also the book The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living: by Dalai Lama, HowardC. Cutler made a tremendous impact on me. It helped me alot with the process above.

    What turned me off ssri's was that I was on Remeron(Mirtazapine) for 6 months. It made me into a COMPLETE zombie and took out ALL joy from my life. It lessened the depression but everything else aswell. It lowered my learning ability aswell and made me plain stupid. The scary part was that I didnt notice it myself. By pure luck I ran out and had forgoten to renew the script. So I was of it for a few days and damn was that a WILD ride. My mind was speeding like on meth or something and I thought I was going crasy until I realised it was just my mind getting back to how it should be. After a while when it had settled down I reexperienced the joy life still can have even when depressed and then I promised myself never again any ssri. I still was depressed but rather depressed then a zombie...Everyone around me that takes them seem to fool themself into thinking they help when they realy dont seem to do anything positive at all.

    I have not beaten all my demons yet by far but they dont feel like such a heavy burden anymore and they are beeing resolved slowely but surely.

  8. #8
    collar's Avatar
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    "I have not beaten all my demons yet by far but they dont feel like such a heavy burden anymore and they are beeing resolved slowely but surely."

    thats good to hear man...
    keep been strong ....

  9. #9
    MatrixGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    Thanks bro.

    I guess I struggled to lay a positive foundation in my mind. I had a VERY negative thought pattern concering myself and after I had noticed that I struggled all the time to force myself to abolish negative thoughts and nurture a positive mindset. Whenever a negative thougth went through my mind I stoped everything, forced it out of my mind and forced myself to think a good though. Like if I think "damn Im uggly" I would force that away and think "hell Im prettier then brad pit". Thats the basic of it.

    Also the book The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living: by Dalai Lama, HowardC. Cutler made a tremendous impact on me. It helped me alot with the process above.

    What turned me off ssri's was that I was on Remeron(Mirtazapine) for 6 months. It made me into a COMPLETE zombie and took out ALL joy from my life. It lessened the depression but everything else aswell. It lowered my learning ability aswell and made me plain stupid. The scary part was that I didnt notice it myself. By pure luck I ran out and had forgoten to renew the script. So I was of it for a few days and damn was that a WILD ride. My mind was speeding like on meth or something and I thought I was going crasy until I realised it was just my mind getting back to how it should be. After a while when it had settled down I reexperienced the joy life still can have even when depressed and then I promised myself never again any ssri. I still was depressed but rather depressed then a zombie...Everyone around me that takes them seem to fool themself into thinking they help when they realy dont seem to do anything positive at all.

    I have not beaten all my demons yet by far but they dont feel like such a heavy burden anymore and they are beeing resolved slowely but surely.
    I really can relate to that. I thought to myself, "is it me, or am i getting thicker" sounds funny, but its not really. I myself feel like a "zombie" alot of the time..... i sleep alot too. I cant think the same way i use to either. I started a college course about a year ago (i work full time) but i had to quit after several months could i could never concentrate or answer anything without having to think about it for ages. Suddenly stopping my one is a nightmare too. You feel like you have been run over by a bus.... no joke either. Constant extreme dizziness, feeling sick, very weak, etc. I am very keen to see how i feel when i come off them.

  10. #10
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by collar
    "I have not beaten all my demons yet by far but they dont feel like such a heavy burden anymore and they are beeing resolved slowely but surely."

    thats good to hear man...
    keep been strong ....
    sure will
    thanks man

  11. #11
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MatrixGuy
    I really can relate to that. I thought to myself, "is it me, or am i getting thicker" sounds funny, but its not really. I myself feel like a "zombie" alot of the time..... i sleep alot too. I cant think the same way i use to either. I started a college course about a year ago (i work full time) but i had to quit after several months could i could never concentrate or answer anything without having to think about it for ages. Suddenly stopping my one is a nightmare too. You feel like you have been run over by a bus.... no joke either. Constant extreme dizziness, feeling sick, very weak, etc. I am very keen to see how i feel when i come off them.
    Yes that is exacly what I experienced. My mind was slow, all I wanted to do was to sleep, no motivation to do ANYTHING, life was just grey and boring. The thing that startled me was that I stopped laughing when on remeron. Even around my good friends. Before that no matter how depressed I was I could still laugh with my friends. Anything that takes laughter out of life is not worth it.

    You will probably feel like shit at first bro but try to ride through it and dont hesitate to pm me if you feel like shit.
    Give that book a try aswell it might sound like bullshit new age crap but its a amazing piece of work that realy has the potential to change how you think so that you can achieve more happiness in life!

  12. #12
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    give this a try matrix. During one day just observe your thought patterns. Take notice of how many times you think negative things about yourself or your sorouding. Write it all down if you have to but dont try to change anything just yet. Just take notice of how you think.
    Because you are what you think and if you think you are great and happy you will become great and happy.

  13. #13
    MatrixGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    Yes that is exacly what I experienced. My mind was slow, all I wanted to do was to sleep, no motivation to do ANYTHING, life was just grey and boring. The thing that startled me was that I stopped laughing when on remeron. Even around my good friends. Before that no matter how depressed I was I could still laugh with my friends. Anything that takes laughter out of life is not worth it.

    You will probably feel like shit at first bro but try to ride through it and dont hesitate to pm me if you feel like shit.
    Give that book a try aswell it might sound like bullshit new age crap but its a amazing piece of work that realy has the potential to change how you think so that you can achieve more happiness in life!
    Thanks bro. That means alot to me. I was going to buy a book, so i might aswell try that one! The reason i first got put on SSRI's was because i went to my docs because i had really bad anxiety issues. It got that bad at one point that i couldnt hardly go outside! The wierd thing was that as my anxiety reduced, from the meds (Seroxat/Paxil really helped), my depression seemed to get worse.

  14. #14
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MatrixGuy
    Thanks bro. That means alot to me. I was going to buy a book, so i might aswell try that one! The reason i first got put on SSRI's was because i went to my docs because i had really bad anxiety issues. It got that bad at one point that i couldnt hardly go outside! The wierd thing was that as my anxiety reduced, from the meds (Seroxat/Paxil really helped), my depression seemed to get worse.
    No problem bro.

    I hear you on the anxiety. Mine never got quite that bad but during a period I was afraid to buy grocerices just becasue I was afraid to say "hi" to the store clerc for instance. I couldnt make phone calls because I got so bad anxiety that my heart started racing and sweat poured of me. Didnt like beeing around people cause of the social anxiety, just walking around on town made me feel like shit cause I was so tensed up all the time.

    What kind of anxiety do you suffer from? Is it social anxiety? Panic attacks?

  15. #15
    MatrixGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    I hear you on the anxiety. Mine never got quite that bad but during a period I was afraid to buy grocerices just becasue I was afraid to say "hi" to the store clerc for instance. I couldnt make phone calls because I got so bad anxiety that my heart started racing and sweat poured of me. Didnt like beeing around people cause of the social anxiety, just walking around on town made me feel like shit cause I was so tensed up all the time.

    What kind of anxiety do you suffer from? Is it social anxiety? Panic attacks?
    Social Anxiety. I still do have the odd panic attack, but its usually in a very busy situation, or when there is lots of people looking at me. I go all sweaty and hot, red in the face (although my nice tan helps with that one ) A few years back i had to actually quit my job because i couldn't talk to people over the phone!

  16. #16
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Another small advice before I go to beed. If you are like me with the social anxiety you probably have a very hard time looking people in the eyes when walking around. Force yourself to maintain eye contact with EVERYONE. After a while you will then notice people shying away from you and that feels good in some way. To not be the one that turns away. Might sound like a small thing but it makes a world of difference. Then again you might not at all have this particular problem.

    Time for me to stop playing AR shrink and go to sleep

  17. #17
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    its my turn now in depression, I lost my job and there is an employment problem in the country now! so I am I spending what is left in my account , thanks god there is my father account, I might sell my mercedes to , sorry for hijacking lol

  18. #18
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    kloter1 is offline Southern Steel Bodybuilding
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    i remember your posts johan. im glad to see your finally getting better. depression is something ive faced, not as bad as some of yall but its really a bad time in ones life.

    scarface - smile

    There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see
    that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future.
    But through whatever you see,
    through all the rain and the pain,
    you gotta keep your sense of humor.
    You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit.
    Remember that.
    Mmm, yeah.
    Keep ya head up.Yeah

  19. #19
    MatrixGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    Another small advice before I go to beed. If you are like me with the social anxiety you probably have a very hard time looking people in the eyes when walking around. Force yourself to maintain eye contact with EVERYONE. After a while you will then notice people shying away from you and that feels good in some way. To not be the one that turns away. Might sound like a small thing but it makes a world of difference. Then again you might not at all have this particular problem.

    Time for me to stop playing AR shrink and go to sleep
    I have that problem too. I know it sounds sad saying this but alot of the time i walk around with my head down... i really hate it. I wish i had the confidence to look people in the eye and give them a smile.

  20. #20
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kloter1
    i remember your posts johan. im glad to see your finally getting better. depression is something ive faced, not as bad as some of yall but its really a bad time in ones life.
    thanks bro. Yeah it realy is and its sad that so many suffer from it aswell. I wonder what has happened to the world to make so many feel so bad.



    Quote Originally Posted by MatrixGuy
    I have that problem too. I know it sounds sad saying this but alot of the time i walk around with my head down... i really hate it. I wish i had the confidence to look people in the eye and give them a smile.
    Not sad at all.
    force yourself! Try it. I know its hard as shit to do and I still cant do it comfortably. But it changes alot just to be able to maintain the eye contact until the other person looks down. Its those small things that add upp and change how you feel.

  21. #21
    Dally's Avatar
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    say this a few times in the mirror (I do it seated and flex abit and do some most muscular poses like in my avie...ehehehe I do.. )

    EVERYDAY ... IN EVERYWAY... IM GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!

    say it a few times and smile.

    feel good about yourself buddy. I know you from this board and I would like to know you in real life. You're a great guy man and I hope and wish nothing but the best for ya bro!!


    (call me sexypants)

  22. #22
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    I am happy to hear this johan! I go through small periods of depression as well and I know how bad it sucks, but it sure is great when things clear up. Im happy for ya man.

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