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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    I need one of those
    Ask Nark if you can borrow his?



    ???? That doesnt sound right
    abstrack@protonmail.com

  2. #42
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    I remembered when i could whore 100 posts in a week...without breaking a sweat.

    Those were the days
    I average 31.76 per day!!!!!!!!!!! I posted over 600 in 4 days to get to 2000

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by abstrack
    No. Thats called your glory hole
    So if someone theorectically sticks his dick into said hole in his mattress...and then proceeds to screw its stuffing out...that doesnt count as sex or weird does it?

  4. #44
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    lmao!

  5. #45
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abstrack
    No. I understood you clear as day light. Been there. Done that. I know how to please a women so she has Amazing orgasms. The kind that make her legs shake and quiver. The kind that makes the emotional and cry. No need to toot my own horn, but toot toot

    LOL brotha!!!!!!!!!!! toot toot

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    So if someone theorectically sticks his dick into said hole in his mattress...and then proceeds to screw its stuffing out...that doesnt count as sex or weird does it?

    Theoretically it does count as sex, but you have to name it and talk dirty to it at the time of intercourse. Saying things like "Yeah baby!" or "Take that shit!" counts also.
    abstrack@protonmail.com

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    So if someone theorectically sticks his dick into said hole in his mattress...and then proceeds to screw its stuffing out...that doesnt count as sex or weird does it?
    I feel for ya if you ever went deep enough and caught a spring in the mattress


    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh thats gotta hurt

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    So if someone theorectically sticks his dick into said hole in his mattress...and then proceeds to screw its stuffing out...that doesnt count as sex or weird does it?
    LMAO..sure it counts..I just wouldnt go up to one of ur friends and be like oooo so tired after that crazy sex last night..

  9. #49
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abstrack
    No. I understood you clear as day light. Been there. Done that. I know how to please a women so she has Amazing orgasms. The kind that make her legs shake and quiver. The kind that makes the emotional and cry. No need to toot my own horn, but toot toot
    It can still get better than that!!!!!!!!!! Hell I know cause she told me

  10. #50
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    how would one theorectically instigate foreplay with said mattress?

    Just laying on top is so unsexy

  11. #51
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    Ok here's a scenario for you sexperts.

    You're at your girl's house...going to meet the parents for the first time.

    They leave you in the sitting room on the sofa...not just any sofa...a patent leather sofa...what do you do?

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    how would one theorectically instigate foreplay with said mattress?

    Just laying on top is so unsexy

    Get creative and show her what your working with !!!!!! Just flip the bitch over and ram it in her off limits hole

  13. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    Ok here's a scenario for you sexperts.

    You're at your girl's house...going to meet the parents for the first time.

    They leave you in the sitting room on the sofa...not just any sofa...a patent leather sofa...what do you do?
    Would banging the sofa theorectically be bad?

    What if it was done quietly?

  14. #54
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    hahaha you kill me nark..you proceed to take your knife out...cut a hole..and see how great that patent leather sofa is

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    Ok here's a scenario for you sexperts.

    You're at your girl's house...going to meet the parents for the first time.

    They leave you in the sitting room on the sofa...not just any sofa...a patent leather sofa...what do you do?

    Go upstairs and bang the sister

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    Would banging the sofa theorectically be bad?

    What if it was done quietly?
    See you would have to know when everyone is coming back. If the gf came back..she would have to wait til the soma is done

  17. #57
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    so no one here's ever stuck their dick between the cushions of a sofa and bust a nut?

    c'mon..next you'll be telling me you've never got head from a Vacuum Cleaner

  18. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    so no one here's ever stuck their dick between the cushions of a sofa and bust a nut?

    c'mon..next you'll be telling me you've never got head from a Vacuum Cleaner
    or have your dick pierced! Who hasn't done that!?

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    It can still get better than that!!!!!!!!!! Hell I know cause she told me
    I'm sure abstrack will get me back for this comment

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    so no one here's ever stuck their dick between the cushions of a sofa and bust a nut?

    c'mon..next you'll be telling me you've never got head from a Vacuum Cleaner

    I've done the first with a condom on but never tried the second

  21. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    hahaha you kill me nark..you proceed to take your knife out...cut a hole..and see how great that patent leather sofa is
    NOOOOOOO

    blasphemy

    Patent leather is just that...Patent

    It must be respected.

    First you tell it how sexy it is

    Then you take your love-rod out...It'll be hard already...that's just how sexy Patent Leather is.

    Spit on the tip and slide it home.

    Go slowly...most likely it'll be her first time.

    That's what i'd do...theorectically

  22. #62
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    or have your dick pierced! Who hasn't done that!?
    Your boyfriend

  23. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    NOOOOOOO

    blasphemy

    Patent leather is just that...Patent

    It must be respected.

    First you tell it how sexy it is

    Then you take you loverod out...It'll be hard already...that's just how sexy Patent Leather is.

    Spit on the tip and slide it home.

    Go slowly...most likely it'll be her first time.

    That's what i'd do...theorectically
    Did you miss my reply

  24. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    Did you miss my reply
    I disregarded it.

    What kinda sick fvck would leave a single; available; sofa...a curvy patent leather sofa...to go bang his GF's sister?

    You're sick man...sick sick sick.

  25. #65
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    I'm goin to bed and taking my sex toys with me I'll talk at ya'll tommorow

  26. #66
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    I disregarded it.

    What kinda sick fvck would leave a single; available; sofa...a curvy patent leather sofa...to go bang his GF's sister?

    You're sick man...sick sick sick.
    ROTMFFLMFAO

  27. #67
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    I'm going to bed mang.

    I've got some patent leather poontang to go bang.

    She's a little rough around the edges but in the inside she's all woman

  28. #68
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    I'm gonna try flipping her over like y'all said.

  29. #69
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    I'm going to bed mang.

    I've got some patent leather poontang to go bang.

    She's a little rough around the edges but in the inside she's all woman
    Have a good time bruh, I'm gonna sleep on uh I mean with the couch tonight

  30. #70
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Narkissos
    I'm gonna try flipping her over like y'all said.
    Ya'll nothin, that came from yours truely CC and let me know how she liked it tommorow

  31. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    Go ahead be honest and tell all of AR how many sex toys you own
    Girlfriend, I have a shrimp basket full! (That's about the size of a laundry basket) I/m not at home to count them, but that's probably about 20 or so.

    Love
    Anna

  32. #72
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Bollick
    Girlfriend, I have a shrimp basket full! (That's about the size of a laundry basket) I/m not at home to count them, but that's probably about 20 or so.

    Love
    Anna
    How did I already know that answer from you

  33. #73
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    HHAHAA i leave to make some good ol oatmeal and come back to laugh for 5 minutes

  34. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    I'm sure abstrack will get me back for this comment
    LMAO shit head.
    abstrack@protonmail.com

  35. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    How did I already know that answer from you
    oh come on cruise what is that...ill eat that sausage head right off

  36. #76
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    you know how i love sausage

  37. #77
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abstrack
    LMAO shit head.
    OMG Im literally almost pissing myself!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Tooooooooooo much beer and not enough bathroom breaks and tooooooooooo funny of an avatar

  38. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    oh come on cruise what is that...ill eat that sausage head right off
    Dam I'm a sexy beast

  39. #79
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    Mr. Hankey Poo


    Hello boys and girls! Hooowww are you?
    abstrack@protonmail.com

  40. #80
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    Am I George Castanza now with a sausage head

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