Worst sexual experience....

[Dally]

I used to bang this slutty blonde who had a boyfriend... a real putz so I didnt care and he treated her like gold...but she was a slut and I had to .... I was a pigger back then.

either way, i go ya, meet me at the club...so she does and im sittin on a stool in the middle of the bar...wasted..with like 5 buddies... and they know whats goin on with her...so im like yo, lemme see your panties..and shes like no.... your friends ..so i go in her ear, lemme see your panties or Im not gonna bang you later. she shows and em and everyone watched while I fingered her sitting on my barstool with a beer in one hand and her on my other.

couple weeks went by and I got sick of er so me and good friend of mine tagged er and high fived each other a few times.



she got pregnant too .... dunno if its mine or not but buddy married er!!!

[Mizfit]

hahha Yes i grew up in Toronto

Man.....

Im mostly british.....and the other half french/native...

what nationality are you? did you grow up in Toh?

your "accent" is interesting...

[spywizard]

Classic...

Three freshman girls come to my apt (i had a pretty popular apt my soph/jr/sr years) one day (Sr yr) and walk up to my window as me and two of my roomates were watching tv. "Is this the wrestling house" we said yeah... "can we come in and introduce ourselves" sure we said... they came in each sat with one of us and started talkin. within 5 minutes she asked if she could blow me in the bathroom. hmmmmm??? after i was done, i walked out to the others fingering/motorbaoting the other two. One of the best days of my life (one of them) Just b/c of our rep we had in college!!! hahahahaha

Ima ima ima haustla homie.... ask about mey lol

wonder if they were completing an initiation??

or lost a bet??

at any rate you won in the end..

[HeavyHitter]

wonder if they were completing an initiation??

or lost a bet??

at any rate you won in the end..

that could of been true... but they came back a bunch of times afterwards too! But, im still gonna think it was cuz of our rep!! (besides thats what they told us!!) lol

[RA]

haha honestly.. in this case i speak of.. i thought it was cute...

guess i would rather have him have that problem than not be able to get it up...for me

But i just remeber the way he said it :P

In other first time case.. it hasn't been so cute... but i expect it

The same girl told me that a guy she was with before would blow before he got his pants down. I laughed my nuts off.

[dirtyvegas]

picked this girl up 1 night @ a club with my bro, went back to the crib she tried to get me to take some 50mg blue pill of viagra, but i was like hell na i never even seen that shit before . I didnt need it anyway and im glad i didnt take it cause she went down on me and then i was on my way down on her and 1 qucik whif of that stinkin puss i threw up all over the floor....I was so excited at the beginning of the night to cause this chick was hot as fvck bro i just couldnt understand why she stank so bad..

Anyway it wasnt embarasing for me, i just kicked the ho out on the next block 15min later.

dirtyvegas

[Mizfit]

hahaha this same one... came before we started too

The same girl told me that a guy she was with before would blow before he got his pants down. I laughed my nuts off.

[dirtyvegas]

Just wondering what your worst sexual experience was.... I'll start off:

About 8 years ago I was seeing this girl. She was pretty cool but something happened that just meesed everything up.... Her parents were very liberal and they happily let us fvck in her room and would come in to her room and leave food and drinks while we were curled up in bed.....I know it freaked me out a bit but they always knocked and everything...

This girl was cool. She was an art student so very kinda hippy and liberal. The only problem with this girl was that she was really fvcking messy and her room was a bit of a tip. Anyways one night we got really drunk and ended up having drunk sex. The only problem was that she was on her period but we were really drunk and with the lights turned off we didn't notice....and she didn't say anything anyways...how the hell was I supposed to know!!

The next morning I was laying on my front with my arm hanging of the side of the bed...and guess what there was on the floor right near my hand...yep you guessed it it was a nice big pair of scissors!!! Well her mum brought us up some coffee, she knocked and my ex with a huge hangover just grunted for her to come in and collapsed back onto me.

The next thing I hear is the coffee mugs shattering on the floor and her mum screaming "he's killed her!". Police and ambulances were called and I was nearly arrested had it not been for a female paramedic who figured it out.

Shit....even I thought that I had accidentally done something coz I was so out of it the night before...and the sheets were pretty evenly covered with blood and it was all over my legs and abs....I was shitting myself....

Suffice it to say we didn't exactly last after that....

S

what happend after that? did you ever see the girl again, what her mom say afterwards.?
dv

[chest6]

How do you go right when u pull ur pants down? She isn't touching you or anything? Maybe its some kind of problem

[edmen2]

I don't really have any bad...just fast...

"Oh.. u got me so excited.."

I had to hold my giggles in for that one.....

with ur sexy ass i would have to go in the restroom to rub the first one out. then i would be good to go!

[Dally]

How do you go right when u pull ur pants down? She isn't touching you or anything? Maybe its some kind of problem

YAH THINK?







holy fuk

[Dally]

Im mostly british.....and the other half french/native...

well, then it really wouldn't be a half then would it.....



anyways sounds like your rollin with some real studs....maybe its time to supersize them fries baby.

you know where to go.....

[BG]

Just wondering what your worst sexual experience was.... I'll start off:

About 8 years ago I was seeing this girl. She was pretty cool but something happened that just meesed everything up.... Her parents were very liberal and they happily let us fvck in her room and would come in to her room and leave food and drinks while we were curled up in bed.....I know it freaked me out a bit but they always knocked and everything...

This girl was cool. She was an art student so very kinda hippy and liberal. The only problem with this girl was that she was really fvcking messy and her room was a bit of a tip. Anyways one night we got really drunk and ended up having drunk sex. The only problem was that she was on her period but we were really drunk and with the lights turned off we didn't notice....and she didn't say anything anyways...how the hell was I supposed to know!!

The next morning I was laying on my front with my arm hanging of the side of the bed...and guess what there was on the floor right near my hand...yep you guessed it it was a nice big pair of scissors!!! Well her mum brought us up some coffee, she knocked and my ex with a huge hangover just grunted for her to come in and collapsed back onto me.

The next thing I hear is the coffee mugs shattering on the floor and her mum screaming "he's killed her!". Police and ambulances were called and I was nearly arrested had it not been for a female paramedic who figured it out.

Shit....even I thought that I had accidentally done something coz I was so out of it the night before...and the sheets were pretty evenly covered with blood and it was all over my legs and abs....I was shitting myself....

Suffice it to say we didn't exactly last after that....

S

For real, thats insane!!!

[BG]

one of my x's wanted to take it up the dumper... so me being the gentlemen that I am said. Fuk yes. I'm gonna bang you in your dirt hole.

so after I romanced her with some five play, we started the anus caressing, I started in with some massaging and pushing around..... insert a pinky, then the thumb and warmed the area with some love and spit.

I mounted up and got her to guide my loverod into position....she was ready for the copious. We started to copulate. I squeezed just the head in....ahh that feels fuggin tight... sorta started to move in and around ...she starts in with the breathin....ohhh yes..... ohhh fuk dally. Im like ohh shit this is gonna be good....start workin the stink tube abit more, get about 4 inches in and draw back ohhh yes...more, so me being the gentlemen, gave some more...well the sweaty ass lube and secretions started helping and the slideage of the meat started to take play... again more heavy breathing and some moaning...

now, ol Dally is starting to warm up...so i lift up the one leg to get some good drive leverage and start plumbing .... not yet nuts deep but coming close to touchin bottom....she starts freaking out ...grabbing the pillows, moaning like crazy and biting the pillows, pulling her assy cheeks open with face smashed into the pillows and im like this is it dally...GIVE IT TO ER.

I started in heavy....heavy fukin slamming..... no holds barred, and shes freakin.... she was saying some fukin crazy shit and well, to be quite honest I was a little scared...but me being the gentlemen said ...well, i'm going to pleasure this woman like she requires....and kept with the plunging....

well, all of a sudden she stops and Im still just hammering away.....boom BOOMMMM BOOOOOOMMM

fuk yah...

nothing

booom BOOOMMMMM

nothing she just sorta laying there with some pillows built up under her tummy and her face smushed into the pillow...

im like ohhh yah babe and slow the pace..and shes not saying shit.

so I stop totally thinkin wo....shes in awe of my gentlemenlyness.

nope. she was plain passed the hell out, mouth wide open after I moved the hair off her the side of her face...PASSSED OUT COLD.

ohhh gawd I say...holy shit...so i pull my whop out to assist her and well, the woft of air that came out as my whopper came out was ... very unpleasant.... my cock was covered in brun. I was not pleased. At that moment I realized why we have craps in water.

so, I run/sprint to the can and rinse of my steak and pinch out my load (I had to.) and wait abit to go back....I mean this is fukked.

so, I go back in the room and there she is bed made, covers right up to her neck and room REEKED OF LYSOL.

Hi....

Hi.

you okay?

fine. .... gnight.

yah..gnight.

OMG priceless, thanks for the laugh Dally, calling it a night on that one!!!

[Puffader]

I was seeing a chic for the second time and we went out and got drunk and went back to her place. We were both so drunk but more her since she was only 95 lbs. Anyway, after having sex she rolled off the bed and squated down in the corner of her room and pee'd all over her carpet. That was so strange. I was watching her and saying to myself "There's no f'ing was she's going to pee right there.. oh oh....oh shit. I had to carry her into the bathroom. I was so drunk and laughed my ass off but felt bad for her.

[skinnyhb]

my worst is every time i can't get it up, which i am the king of when i have been drinking anything.

[Dally]

my worst is every time i can't get it up, which i am the king of when i have been drinking anything.

just take some cialis abit before you go out and its good for like 3 days...really awesome stuff.

[depdaddy]

my worst sexual experience

MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SMYL_GR8]

one of my x's wanted to take it up the dumper... so me being the gentlemen that I am said. Fuk yes. I'm gonna bang you in your dirt hole.

so after I romanced her with some five play, we started the anus caressing, I started in with some massaging and pushing around..... insert a pinky, then the thumb and warmed the area with some love and spit.

I mounted up and got her to guide my loverod into position....she was ready for the copious. We started to copulate. I squeezed just the head in....ahh that feels fuggin tight... sorta started to move in and around ...she starts in with the breathin....ohhh yes..... ohhh fuk dally. Im like ohh shit this is gonna be good....start workin the stink tube abit more, get about 4 inches in and draw back ohhh yes...more, so me being the gentlemen, gave some more...well the sweaty ass lube and secretions started helping and the slideage of the meat started to take play... again more heavy breathing and some moaning...

now, ol Dally is starting to warm up...so i lift up the one leg to get some good drive leverage and start plumbing .... not yet nuts deep but coming close to touchin bottom....she starts freaking out ...grabbing the pillows, moaning like crazy and biting the pillows, pulling her assy cheeks open with face smashed into the pillows and im like this is it dally...GIVE IT TO ER.

I started in heavy....heavy fukin slamming..... no holds barred, and shes freakin.... she was saying some fukin crazy shit and well, to be quite honest I was a little scared...but me being the gentlemen said ...well, i'm going to pleasure this woman like she requires....and kept with the plunging....

Bro, you REALLY need to stop reading Penhouse Forum.

[SMYL_GR8]

I was 19, she was 18 and a virgin. I had been stuck at 3rd base for like 3 weeks and this was finally it. We're in her dorm room and she chickens out on me again on a Friday night. No big deal, she gives me some brains and we go to sleep. Well, she wakes up Saturday morning ready for action. I'm thinking WTF, but oh well, strike while it's hot. so we're going at it like crazed monkeys like most kids that age do. She's screaming her fvckin' head off. I'm just enjoying the show basically. All of a sudden, there's LOUD banging at her door and some guy yelling in spanish (she was latin, BTW). Her screaming stops and she gets this face full of fear. She throws me off of her and says "Shit, I'm having lunch with my father!" I'm thinking, what's the big deal, you're 18, he should be alright with that. . .he wasn't.

She opens the door and he barges in like a fvckin bull at a matador. He comes straight for me while pulling his belt out of his waistline. He starts WHIPPING ME with the belt while I run around the room NAKED. I picked my clothes up off the floor and run out the room naked being WHIPPED AND YELLED AT the whole time, clothes in hand into a hallway full of people that had gathered to see what all the commotion was about. I got dressed right there in the hallway with an audience and walked away like nothing happened.

[cb25]

I was 19, she was 18 and a virgin. I had been stuck at 3rd base for like 3 weeks and this was finally it. We're in her dorm room and she chickens out on me again on a Friday night. No big deal, she gives me some brains and we go to sleep. Well, she wakes up Saturday morning ready for action. I'm thinking WTF, but oh well, strike while it's hot. so we're going at it like crazed monkeys like most kids that age do. She's screaming her fvckin' head off. I'm just enjoying the show basically. All of a sudden, there's LOUD banging at her door and some guy yelling in spanish (she was latin, BTW). Her screaming stops and she gets this face full of fear. She throws me off of her and says "Shit, I'm having lunch with my father!" I'm thinking, what's the big deal, you're 18, he should be alright with that. . .he wasn't.

She opens the door and he barges in like a fvckin bull at a matador. He comes straight for me while pulling his belt out of his waistline. He starts WHIPPING ME with the belt while I run around the room NAKED. I picked my clothes up off the floor and run out the room naked being WHIPPED AND YELLED AT the whole time, clothes in hand into a hallway full of people that had gathered to see what all the commotion was about. I got dressed right there in the hallway with an audience and walked away like nothing happened.

LMFAO!! yea, you don't mess with latin girls' dad's. i'm suprised a belt whipping was all you got!

funny ass story though...

[Schwarz]

what happend after that? did you ever see the girl again, what her mom say afterwards.?
dv

Her mum had suffered with serious depression problems for years.. Apparently, something had happened (big family secret..I never found out what!) years ago that tipped her over the edge. After the incident we had to stop seeing each other for a while coz her mum was so traumatised. Apparently it took nearly a month for her to start sleeping right again and she had to have her meds increased significantly.

So after this I just decided to call it a day on the relationship. To be honest every time I thought about it I knew that if I ever tried to fvck her again I probably wouldn't be able to get it up....I can still remember what I saw when I got up that morning...not a pretty site I can tell you!

S

[SMYL_GR8]

LMFAO!! yea, you don't mess with latin girls' dad's. i'm suprised a belt whipping was all you got!

funny ass story though...

That was the last time I saw her. I called her the next day and stayed in touch with her. Her dad pulled her out of the dorm and made her commute 45 min each way after that. He didn't let her go out on the weekends or anything. She's probably STILL waiting for her SECOND time.

[cb25]

That was the last time I saw her. I called her the next day and stayed in touch with her. Her dad pulled her out of the dorm and made her commute 45 min each way after that. He didn't let her go out on the weekends or anything. She's probably STILL waiting for her SECOND time.

lmao...at least her first was with a pro, right?

[SMYL_GR8]

lmao...at least her first was with a pro, right?

Sheeeeeyet, at 19? I knew the long hard thing went into the pink hole and that was about it. No condom, though. Every once in a while I think she's gonna knock on my door and introduce me to my 10 year old son "Diego" or some sh!t.

[collar]

Just wondering what your worst sexual experience was.... I'll start off:

About 8 years ago I was seeing this girl. She was pretty cool but something happened that just meesed everything up.... Her parents were very liberal and they happily let us fvck in her room and would come in to her room and leave food and drinks while we were curled up in bed.....I know it freaked me out a bit but they always knocked and everything...

This girl was cool. She was an art student so very kinda hippy and liberal. The only problem with this girl was that she was really fvcking messy and her room was a bit of a tip. Anyways one night we got really drunk and ended up having drunk sex. The only problem was that she was on her period but we were really drunk and with the lights turned off we didn't notice....and she didn't say anything anyways...how the hell was I supposed to know!!

The next morning I was laying on my front with my arm hanging of the side of the bed...and guess what there was on the floor right near my hand...yep you guessed it it was a nice big pair of scissors!!! Well her mum brought us up some coffee, she knocked and my ex with a huge hangover just grunted for her to come in and collapsed back onto me.

The next thing I hear is the coffee mugs shattering on the floor and her mum screaming "he's killed her!". Police and ambulances were called and I was nearly arrested had it not been for a female paramedic who figured it out.

Shit....even I thought that I had accidentally done something coz I was so out of it the night before...and the sheets were pretty evenly covered with blood and it was all over my legs and abs....I was shitting myself....

Suffice it to say we didn't exactly last after that....

S

LMAO...........

[collar]

I don't think i have ever had sex for the first time and it not be like that

[fitnessNY]

I was 19, she was 18 and a virgin. I had been stuck at 3rd base for like 3 weeks and this was finally it. We're in her dorm room and she chickens out on me again on a Friday night. No big deal, she gives me some brains and we go to sleep. Well, she wakes up Saturday morning ready for action. I'm thinking WTF, but oh well, strike while it's hot. so we're going at it like crazed monkeys like most kids that age do. She's screaming her fvckin' head off. I'm just enjoying the show basically. All of a sudden, there's LOUD banging at her door and some guy yelling in spanish (she was latin, BTW). Her screaming stops and she gets this face full of fear. She throws me off of her and says "Shit, I'm having lunch with my father!" I'm thinking, what's the big deal, you're 18, he should be alright with that. . .he wasn't.

She opens the door and he barges in like a fvckin bull at a matador. He comes straight for me while pulling his belt out of his waistline. He starts WHIPPING ME with the belt while I run around the room NAKED. I picked my clothes up off the floor and run out the room naked being WHIPPED AND YELLED AT the whole time, clothes in hand into a hallway full of people that had gathered to see what all the commotion was about. I got dressed right there in the hallway with an audience and walked away like nothing happened.

What happened after that, did you get to bang her again?

[Jerzey]

Some crazy situations, lol....

[Bigen12]

I picked up this lady at a bar one night. She told me she was separated from her husband and that he was in Florida and that she had moved up to Georgia to get away from him.

We were hitting it of really well and decide to go bar hopping, I was with a friend of mine who didn’t want to go, so I gave him the keys to my truck and we left in her car. We went from one bar to the next and by the end of the night we were both pretty drunk.

We leave the last bar and head to her house, we pull up in front of the house, and I get out and open her door, about that time I noticed a man walking out from behind the house. I said hello to him so he knew that I seen him. He introduced himself as the woman’s husband.

Thinking quickly I told him that his wife was drunk and that I didn’t want to see her hurt her self driving home, so I brought her home, and that I was walking to a pay phone. I ended up walking about a mile to a pay phone and calling my brother to come get me….. What a night…..

[dirtyvegas]

I was 19, she was 18 and a virgin. I had been stuck at 3rd base for like 3 weeks and this was finally it. We're in her dorm room and she chickens out on me again on a Friday night. No big deal, she gives me some brains and we go to sleep. Well, she wakes up Saturday morning ready for action. I'm thinking WTF, but oh well, strike while it's hot. so we're going at it like crazed monkeys like most kids that age do. She's screaming her fvckin' head off. I'm just enjoying the show basically. All of a sudden, there's LOUD banging at her door and some guy yelling in spanish (she was latin, BTW). Her screaming stops and she gets this face full of fear. She throws me off of her and says "Shit, I'm having lunch with my father!" I'm thinking, what's the big deal, you're 18, he should be alright with that. . .he wasn't.

She opens the door and he barges in like a fvckin bull at a matador. He comes straight for me while pulling his belt out of his waistline. He starts WHIPPING ME with the belt while I run around the room NAKED. I picked my clothes up off the floor and run out the room naked being WHIPPED AND YELLED AT the whole time, clothes in hand into a hallway full of people that had gathered to see what all the commotion was about. I got dressed right there in the hallway with an audience and walked away like nothing happened.

LMAO bro thats funny..
dv

[dirtyvegas]

Bro, you REALLY need to stop reading Penhouse Forum.

no shit porno mag king over here..go dally go....
dv

[Dally]

reading? ...



or writing for?

[punchrf]

LMAO bro thats funny..
dv

damn, i pulled that last weekend with a stripper. her man came home in the morning and i'm passed out from a night of drinking. i feel someone looking at me and i wake up. he's staring at me from about 5 feet away. i recognized who he was and i was like "what's up shorty". his name. he was pissed and then i explained to him that she was so drunk that i drove her home and her friends had that had also rode with me had left early in the morning. i don't know if he believed me but i can most likely beat his ass so i didn't care.

[SMYL_GR8]

What happened after that, did you get to bang her again?

No, her dad pulled her out of the dorm and kept her on LOCKDOWN. I called her a few times, but when I realized that she was never gonna see freedom, I gave up. SO frikkin' hot, too. Picture Daisy Fuentes with a bubble booty and nicer legs. Easy come, easy go.

[superflex1897]

one of my x's wanted to take it up the dumper... so me being the gentlemen that I am said. Fuk yes. I'm gonna bang you in your dirt hole.

so after I romanced her with some five play, we started the anus caressing, I started in with some massaging and pushing around..... insert a pinky, then the thumb and warmed the area with some love and spit.

I mounted up and got her to guide my loverod into position....she was ready for the copious. We started to copulate. I squeezed just the head in....ahh that feels fuggin tight... sorta started to move in and around ...she starts in with the breathin....ohhh yes..... ohhh fuk dally. Im like ohh shit this is gonna be good....start workin the stink tube abit more, get about 4 inches in and draw back ohhh yes...more, so me being the gentlemen, gave some more...well the sweaty ass lube and secretions started helping and the slideage of the meat started to take play... again more heavy breathing and some moaning...

now, ol Dally is starting to warm up...so i lift up the one leg to get some good drive leverage and start plumbing .... not yet nuts deep but coming close to touchin bottom....she starts freaking out ...grabbing the pillows, moaning like crazy and biting the pillows, pulling her assy cheeks open with face smashed into the pillows and im like this is it dally...GIVE IT TO ER.

I started in heavy....heavy fukin slamming..... no holds barred, and shes freakin.... she was saying some fukin crazy shit and well, to be quite honest I was a little scared...but me being the gentlemen said ...well, i'm going to pleasure this woman like she requires....and kept with the plunging....

well, all of a sudden she stops and Im still just hammering away.....boom BOOMMMM BOOOOOOMMM

fuk yah...

nothing

booom BOOOMMMMM

nothing she just sorta laying there with some pillows built up under her tummy and her face smushed into the pillow...

im like ohhh yah babe and slow the pace..and shes not saying shit.

so I stop totally thinkin wo....shes in awe of my gentlemenlyness.

nope. she was plain passed the hell out, mouth wide open after I moved the hair off her the side of her face...PASSSED OUT COLD.

ohhh gawd I say...holy shit...so i pull my whop out to assist her and well, the woft of air that came out as my whopper came out was ... very unpleasant.... my cock was covered in brun. I was not pleased. At that moment I realized why we have craps in water.

so, I run/sprint to the can and rinse of my steak and pinch out my load (I had to.) and wait abit to go back....I mean this is fukked.

so, I go back in the room and there she is bed made, covers right up to her neck and room REEKED OF LYSOL.

Hi....

Hi.

you okay?

fine. .... gnight.

yah..gnight.

At least you got to hit that pooper. Then you dead horsed her ass.

[Anna Bollick]

Girl, Sex is a lot like pizza. When it is good, it is pretty darn good. When it is bad, well, it is still okay.

Love
Anna

[dirtyvegas]

reading? ...



or writing for?

I say prove it or... .......................

dv