Thread: Worst sexual experience....
09-22-2005, 05:51 AM #1
Worst sexual experience....
Just wondering what your worst sexual experience was.... I'll start off:
About 8 years ago I was seeing this girl. She was pretty cool but something happened that just meesed everything up.... Her parents were very liberal and they happily let us fvck in her room and would come in to her room and leave food and drinks while we were curled up in bed.....I know it freaked me out a bit but they always knocked and everything...
This girl was cool. She was an art student so very kinda hippy and liberal. The only problem with this girl was that she was really fvcking messy and her room was a bit of a tip. Anyways one night we got really drunk and ended up having drunk sex. The only problem was that she was on her period but we were really drunk and with the lights turned off we didn't notice....and she didn't say anything anyways...how the hell was I supposed to know!!
The next morning I was laying on my front with my arm hanging of the side of the bed...and guess what there was on the floor right near my hand...yep you guessed it it was a nice big pair of scissors!!! Well her mum brought us up some coffee, she knocked and my ex with a huge hangover just grunted for her to come in and collapsed back onto me.
The next thing I hear is the coffee mugs shattering on the floor and her mum screaming "he's killed her!". Police and ambulances were called and I was nearly arrested had it not been for a female paramedic who figured it out.
Shit....even I thought that I had accidentally done something coz I was so out of it the night before...and the sheets were pretty evenly covered with blood and it was all over my legs and abs....I was shitting myself....
Suffice it to say we didn't exactly last after that....
09-22-2005, 05:53 AM #2
Worst sex I ever had....was still pretty good
09-22-2005, 06:47 AM #3Originally Posted by Schwarz
lmao...that tops mine.
09-22-2005, 06:54 AM #4AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
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I was "banging" this chick.... she was nothing special... but had a really hot sister... actually she wasn't "that" hot, but the whole "older sister" thing, made her an 9... I stayed over at their house one night and the chick I was seeing went to the mall and left me at the house with her sister.... Her sister was a bit of a town bicycle and decided to jump me in HER sisters room... no complaints from me, so we ended up going to the laundry room just in case anyone came home... welp, guess who came home with 2 coffees that ended up all over my clothes... caught in the act with the pants down.... was this a BAD experience... Fuk no!
09-22-2005, 07:12 AM #5Originally Posted by Justin Sane
09-22-2005, 07:36 AM #6AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
Originally Posted by Schwarz
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09-22-2005, 07:41 AM #7
this should be good..
my favorite is from a guy.. this never happens....
5 second wonder
09-22-2005, 07:44 AM #8Originally Posted by Mizfit
Although I'd like to step up to the challenge if you'd let me. It might take me a few goes though....say a couple of hundread .
09-22-2005, 07:52 AM #9
I don't think i have ever had sex for the first time and it not be like thatOriginally Posted by Schwarz
09-22-2005, 07:54 AM #10Originally Posted by Mizfit
Try me then....I'll definetly break that trend
09-22-2005, 08:08 AM #11AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
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I'm horny... stop talking about sex!!!
09-22-2005, 08:11 AM #12Originally Posted by Mizfit
Happens to me sometimes, i usually just wait a min or two and im ready again. the second time is a bout 10 seconds. Na, just kiddin second time is alot longer. id feel like a complete loser if i didnt satify the woman.
09-22-2005, 08:27 AM #13
I don't really have any bad...just fast...
"Oh.. u got me so excited.."
I had to hold my giggles in for that one.....Originally Posted by 31uniform
09-22-2005, 08:46 AM #14
That first story is great!
09-22-2005, 09:04 AM #15
are we talkin BAD or CLASSIC. b/c that story aint bad it was great.
A bad story would be this: hot ass girl wants to bang, you never banged her yet either... but she says you cant b/c she has her period.... THEN she says will you just **** my ass instead.... then you cant get it up b/c your stupid ass did an EQ only cycle with no pct.....
or having your mom walk in on ya when your passed out, pants down to ankles, and the porn channel is on with your d1ck in your hand!!!
those are bad....
09-22-2005, 09:25 AM #16Originally Posted by HeavyHitter
Well atleast your mum would know your not gay.....unless you accidentally changed it to a gay porn site just before she came in...now that would be bad!
09-22-2005, 09:35 AM #17
i was 16 at the time was a friday in freinds house at a posh area all of us where drinking so me and this girl deicide to walk over to this big feild quite ofcourse 2 of us where a good bit drunk ,she starts me things where looking good i took my top off sat it down she got ready i ram it up and then aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i start crying nearly i snapped my banjo i think its called this i pulled out it was like a horror movie blood was everywhere
she was not impressed
09-22-2005, 09:38 AM #18Originally Posted by TheLicencee.
09-22-2005, 09:39 AM #19Originally Posted by JdFlex
09-22-2005, 10:00 AM #20
one of my x's wanted to take it up the dumper... so me being the gentlemen that I am said. Fuk yes. I'm gonna bang you in your dirt hole.
so after I romanced her with some five play, we started the anus caressing, I started in with some massaging and pushing around..... insert a pinky, then the thumb and warmed the area with some love and spit.
I mounted up and got her to guide my loverod into position....she was ready for the copious. We started to copulate. I squeezed just the head in....ahh that feels fuggin tight... sorta started to move in and around ...she starts in with the breathin....ohhh yes..... ohhh fuk dally. Im like ohh shit this is gonna be good....start workin the stink tube abit more, get about 4 inches in and draw back ohhh yes...more, so me being the gentlemen, gave some more...well the sweaty ass lube and secretions started helping and the slideage of the meat started to take play... again more heavy breathing and some moaning...
now, ol Dally is starting to warm up...so i lift up the one leg to get some good drive leverage and start plumbing .... not yet nuts deep but coming close to touchin bottom....she starts freaking out ...grabbing the pillows, moaning like crazy and biting the pillows, pulling her assy cheeks open with face smashed into the pillows and im like this is it dally...GIVE IT TO ER.
I started in heavy....heavy fukin slamming..... no holds barred, and shes freakin.... she was saying some fukin crazy shit and well, to be quite honest I was a little scared...but me being the gentlemen said ...well, i'm going to pleasure this woman like she requires....and kept with the plunging....
well, all of a sudden she stops and Im still just hammering away.....boom BOOMMMM BOOOOOOMMM
nothing she just sorta laying there with some pillows built up under her tummy and her face smushed into the pillow...
im like ohhh yah babe and slow the pace..and shes not saying shit.
so I stop totally thinkin wo....shes in awe of my gentlemenlyness.
nope. she was plain passed the hell out, mouth wide open after I moved the hair off her the side of her face...PASSSED OUT COLD.
ohhh gawd I say...holy shit...so i pull my whop out to assist her and well, the woft of air that came out as my whopper came out was ... very unpleasant.... my cock was covered in brun. I was not pleased. At that moment I realized why we have craps in water.
so, I run/sprint to the can and rinse of my steak and pinch out my load (I had to.) and wait abit to go back....I mean this is fukked.
so, I go back in the room and there she is bed made, covers right up to her neck and room REEKED OF LYSOL.
fine. .... gnight.
09-22-2005, 10:05 AM #21Originally Posted by Mizfit
hahahaha. guilty. I was with a particularly hot female and when I got done she says.............."ALREADY?"
Since then I have found ways to avoid that from happening.
09-22-2005, 10:05 AM #22Originally Posted by Dally
09-22-2005, 10:06 AM #23
thats sick^. mine would have to be from like 9th grade, where i passed out on my bed, with my dick in my hand,after 7 hour marathon football practices. The fuzzy, discolored playboy channell was playing, and my best friend came over and found me like that. he never shut up about it after that.
09-22-2005, 10:06 AM #24Originally Posted by Schwarz
AND ...im a gentlemen.
09-22-2005, 10:07 AM #25
09-22-2005, 10:08 AM #26Originally Posted by Dally
Im not sure if I should laugh or throw up. Good story.
09-22-2005, 10:39 AM #27Originally Posted by roidattack
well ... it was ur mom... so, 50 bucks says you'll
09-22-2005, 10:41 AM #28Originally Posted by Dally
To use your word, that was ghay.
09-22-2005, 10:57 AM #29Originally Posted by Dally
09-22-2005, 11:00 AM #30Originally Posted by Bigen12
for a few seconds some would say I was black!
09-22-2005, 11:17 AM #31
I have 2....
My friend and I stayed the night at my girls house (barely knew her at the time)
Ill get to the point..basically I woke up the next morning..I was in my shorts and no shirt with a man shaking me saying "Get the hell out of my house, you son of a bitch" so i grab my shirt and walk out with him pushing me etc. My friend didnt have it as good this guy kicked him in the ribs like 5 times and made him wake up. These girls are twins so I was with one and he was with another. Oh and this was her dad.
Like...3 months later.we are going out by now. Her dad walks upstairs and shes propped on the pool table and were kissing and shes me. Well..she was kissing me..so her eyes were closed Iguess and she didnt notice her dad behind me and he pushed me and he goes get out of my house. I was like "why" and he points at my pitched tent and goes, "THATS WHY!". I tried to cover it up with "oh ya we should go watch these dvds"..covering up my tent with the dvds but he caught on to that. Those are my 2 stories
09-22-2005, 11:37 AM #32
Thats some funny shit, I dont even know what to say to ne of those! lmao
09-22-2005, 11:38 AM #33
Three freshman girls come to my apt (i had a pretty popular apt my soph/jr/sr years) one day (Sr yr) and walk up to my window as me and two of my roomates were watching tv. "Is this the wrestling house" we said yeah... "can we come in and introduce ourselves" sure we said... they came in each sat with one of us and started talkin. within 5 minutes she asked if she could blow me in the bathroom. hmmmmm??? after i was done, i walked out to the others fingering/motorbaoting the other two. One of the best days of my life (one of them) Just b/c of our rep we had in college!!! hahahahaha
Ima ima ima haustla homie.... ask about mey lol
09-22-2005, 11:44 AM #34
i have a good one...
I get home a lil early from bar one night... my roomi runs out buttt neked and says.. tell the girl in your room that you dont know me and pretend that we/ve never met. OK, turns out, my rommi takes home some UGLY chic bangs her in my room planning on telling her this is not his place... during sex they here me walk in... he pretends to freak out and say this aint my place and takes off. tells me that. so i right away start screaming (pretend) WHO THE FCK R U, WHAT DA FCK IS GOIN ON... i walk into my room, girl is freakin out puttin her clothes back on... I start SCREAMING at her, ON MY BED, WHO DO YOU THINK U ARE.... she starts crying, im sorry i didnt know... and runs out my house half naked. i go to the after party where me and my boy LAUGHED HISTERICALLY.
09-22-2005, 11:46 AM #35Originally Posted by Dally
09-22-2005, 12:03 PM #36Originally Posted by Jimmya73
In college, everytime someone brought an idiot whooooaah home, there would be atleast 3-5 people hiding in the room to watch. sometimes they/i would crawl right up to my/there bed and watched. b/c it was so dark in room...
09-22-2005, 12:08 PM #37
haha honestly.. in this case i speak of.. i thought it was cute...
guess i would rather have him have that problem than not be able to get it up...for me
But i just remeber the way he said it :P
In other first time case.. it hasn't been so cute... but i expect it
Originally Posted by roidattack
09-22-2005, 12:10 PM #38Originally Posted by HeavyHitter
ohh bro...we woulda been fukin nuts together....
seriously geebus kept us apart for many a bitches sanity.
09-22-2005, 12:11 PM #39
seems like with me..i found somethin that makes me last at least 10 mins no matter who im with. works everytime
09-22-2005, 12:12 PM #40Originally Posted by Mizfit
what nationality are you? did you grow up in Toh?
your "accent" is interesting...
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