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  1. #1
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    Please just hold me......

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT?!" So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I'm not in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

    The next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three. She then tells me she needs matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say, "OK."

    And then we go to the Jewelry department, where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you - she was so excited! She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her it was OK.

    She was sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

    You should have seen her face - it went completely blank. Then I said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when she had a look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

  2. #2
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Holy shit Bigen thats awsome yet extremly ballsy!!!!!!!!!!! So how are things now???

  3. #3
    chest6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT?!" So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I'm not in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

    The next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three. She then tells me she needs matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say, "OK."

    And then we go to the Jewelry department, where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you - she was so excited! She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her it was OK.

    She was sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

    You should have seen her face - it went completely blank. Then I said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when she had a look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
    oooooooo you got her good if I was there I'd be right by her saying oooooooo

  4. #4
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    I got that story from the internet,

    No way in hell I'd try that with my wife........

    I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping on my stomach..... ..

  5. #5
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Did you have this planned from the get go ???????

  6. #6
    CRUISECONTROL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    I got that story from the internet,

    No way in hell I'd try that with my wife........

    I don't want to have to sleep on my stomach for the rest of my life.....
    Awwwww fuk I thought you were serious

  7. #7
    chest6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    I got that story from the internet,

    No way in hell I'd try that with my wife........

    I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping on my stomach..... ..
    well damn you got me. I would do the same thing I see nothing wrong with it. Hell I would say that then get in a big argument how thats "different" and end up winning

  8. #8
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUISECONTROL
    Awwwww fuk I thought you were serious

    Besides, I'm the man,

    I get it when ever and how ever I want it.......



    Damn, I hope she doesn't read this.....

  9. #9
    Dally's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    I got that story from the internet,

    No way in hell I'd try that with my wife........

    I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping on my stomach..... ..

    thats not the only thing you do in bed.... on your stomach.....


    call me.

  10. #10
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dally
    call me.
    You don't call me for two weeks, and you think that you can just pick me back up like some used kleenex that you whiped your baby batter on and use me again?????















    Well ok, but you're at least buying me dinner this time.....

  11. #11
    Mealticket's Avatar
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    i was like..whos is this fuk?....i know i've heard this before............funny to read again......yeah......deff don't want to be sleeping on your stomach forevrr
    !

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