Anabolics
Search More Than 6,000,000 Posts
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    ant_8u's Avatar
    ant_8u is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    At The Squat Rack
    Posts
    1,321

    Talking Quantas Pilots....

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident...

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

  2. #2
    SMYL_GR8's Avatar
    SMYL_GR8 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    1,546
    , those are fuckin' funny as hell! NO WAY that's real! Come on!

  3. #3
    IBdmfkr's Avatar
    IBdmfkr is offline AR VET
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    10,383
    hahaah, what a job.

  4. #4
    jerseyboy's Avatar
    jerseyboy is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    No sources
    Posts
    2,234
    I heard that watching "Rainman".

  5. #5
    collar's Avatar
    collar is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    6,192
    Lol......

  6. #6
    mass junkie's Avatar
    mass junkie is offline banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    on the net
    Posts
    8,849
    very funny

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •