1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside"
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY
3. You've never ever eaten Okra
4. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork
5. You've never seen a live chicken and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
6. You've never had grain alcohol
7. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
8. Instead of referring to two or people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
9. You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
10.You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
11. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp on the highway.
12. The farthest you have traveled south is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
13. You call binoculars opera glasses.
14. You can't spit out your car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping
15. Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
