10-06-2005, 01:16 PM #1
How do you guys deal with breakups??UPDATE, FIRST POST!!
So I was with my G/F for 2 1/2 years ( with a 6 month break )
We broke up about 3 weeks ago, with her still coming over when she was drunk ( only twice in the three weeks )
The last time she came over was last Fri. She came over at 4am and was drunker than hell. I was angry for many reason's, beings she was driving while drunk and using me because her roommate who she went out with left her at the club to go see her Ex B/F
In the morning I said some things to her, some things I don't know if I regret or not, but I told her she cannot do these things, She cannot contact me any more or think I am some door matt to be used when she is depressed, I also told her I don't know if I even love her anymore, or maybe I never even did..
The truth is I lvoe her more than life it self, and I feel I will always love her no matter what, she was so special to me even despite how much of a true POS she was ( if you only knew the stories ) but for some reason I was madly MADLY and still am in love with her..
Now its been about a week ( tomorrow ) with no contact AT ALL. I am really hurt over this, I had a break down 2 days ago and just cried like a baby.
She is like a drug, I know when I am with her I shouldn't be, but when I am not with her all I want is her..
How do you all deal with this? will I eventually get over it?? during the 6 month breakup we had lasttime I still felt for her allot. I am afraid I will never let her go
Also to boot, me being shallow has allot to do with this, this girl is a near 10, and I mean that when I say it and sex was just crazy with us..
Alright so maybe share some stories??
Well guys, I really messed up
I was doing so damn good and to be honest 80% of it came from this post. Knowing I wasn't alone and other people have been there before and coming from people I trust ( Weird being it's an ineternet site )
But like I was saying a whole week went by and I was ontop of my game ( game being just being happy ) I went to sleep last Sun. night and for the first time I really didn't think of her. Sure enough I get a phone call at 3am, it was her, she was crying a little and told me she got back from Jersey and had no ride home, that her friend must of passed out and never woke up, She begged me to please pick her up as she had no where to sleep ( her keys were at the person's house who was supposed to pick her up )
I was stuck in a corner, I had no choice really. I picked her up and we headed towards my house when her phone rang, it was her friend. She pleaded to pick it up or not, and told me she wanted to sleep over. I told her "NO" and we went to her friends house and I dropped her off.
She called me after I dropper her off, now about 4am and thanked me 100x, She asked and begged to come over that next day to watch a movie with me. Part of me knew it was a bad Idea the other part wanted to love again, I knew it was only going to be temporary and agree'd. I said to myself that I am going to strong and to good that I can't be pulled back in anyway..
Well sure enough I kinda was. We are no longer talking again, and I just hope this whole situation did not set me back to square #1.
I really need to change my number
Last edited by mustang331; 10-13-2005 at 06:39 PM.
10-06-2005, 01:33 PM #2AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
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- Apr 2005
dude... I just got out of that situation... my chick was a 10 BY FAR, but she wasn't the girl I was going to marry... sooooooooo, I tried to avoid all contact with her.. it gets easier, trust me... and then I started dating my best friend... such a relief!!! Try it, it's fun! But seriously, get through the hard times, and things will be better!
10-06-2005, 01:38 PM #3
i had a similar experience about 4 or 5 months ago bro. that's why i stopped posting here. but...it was really hard in the beginning. you're on an emotional roller coaster. on top of it, i found out she was "seeing" one of the guys from "road rules" from MTV and i hate that kid. i was a wreck for the first month or so. it eventually started getting easier. but to this day, i still think about her every single day. my advice is to move on (easier said than done), but i was in the same boat and i pretty much told her i didn't want to talk to her anymore. it sux at first, but as long as u have good friends and find stuff to keep u busy, u'll get over it.
10-06-2005, 01:44 PM #4
I'm sorry your hurting sweetie.
But, this relationship sounds very toxic to me. It doesn't seem to be healthy one little bit.
She obviously needs to work on herself. And, if she can't give you 100% of what you need, than the relationship should no longer exist. You give her all of yourself...why can't she do the same. And, if she can't...why settle for less.
You need to put yourself first now sweetie. Work on you, and work on what you need out of a relationship. And, don't EVER settle till that one person who completes everything you need comes along.
I'm really sorry to hear a little one is involved. They always get the short stick of things. Yet, your constant contact may confuse her. I'm sure your good for her, but as time goes on...children are affected by these things more than we think. And, usually not for the better.
Find things to do, expand your network of friends...keep busy whatever you do. Best of luck...and, if you need support unconditionally...we're all here!!
10-06-2005, 02:09 PM #5
Hey bro are u sure it's "love". I had a girl that I tought it was love at first but then after breaking up a lot of things click in your head and you realize it was just lust 'cause she was hot and you got into a routine and are use to seeing her, having sex..., unless you are truly deeply in love I think a lot of bros here will agree with me that, if you really want to know your feelings for her you gotta think about it when you are NOT horny, 'cause when you are horny all you want to do is be with her and you cannot stop thinking about her. You gotta have a clear mind (clear "head" ). You gotta think about it bro, is it LUST or LOVE? just my .02
10-06-2005, 02:15 PM #6
Yea, man... I was in a situation just like that 2 years ago... I actually had a few recent dreams of my Ex, and that sucked dick. I actually ended contact with her altogether, But it was easy cuz went of to another city for College... True, it sux and yea it sux even worse when your Ex is banging hott.
Just move on... Lift harder
Also, who broke up with who? And who was the bigger POS? In my situation, I ended being the Sh*t head, and it turned out better off for my Ex, which made me feel better in the end...
10-06-2005, 02:38 PM #7
She is like a drug [QUOTE=mustang331]
You said it right there. And what do junkies do? They go through TERRIBLE withdrawal until it's out of their system. Same thing.
10-06-2005, 02:40 PM #8Originally Posted by Pinkvelvet
Whoaaaa!!! Lol what little one's?? We have no kids.. did I miss something ?
10-06-2005, 02:42 PM #9AR's Salad Tossing Connoisseur
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- Apr 2005
She is like a drugOriginally Posted by mustang331
10-06-2005, 02:42 PM #10Originally Posted by maxmz
It was love, Love is a decision IMO much more than just a feeling, obviously you have to be able to "LOVE" the person in order to "be in love"
Remember we had that 6month break a while ago, and I had about 3 or so G/F's during that time ( LOL I know ) but never has my feelings changed during those 6 months.. If it was Lust I would of been over it.
I love her no doubt, and it sucks to be heartbroken, but I hope each day gets better
10-06-2005, 02:44 PM #11
The best advice that I can give you is to avoid contact with her, and hang out with your friends, and in time you will be better and stronger.
10-06-2005, 02:49 PM #12AR Hall of Fame
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- Dec 2002
I'm a quick reacting type of person, and I usually do the opposite of what women would do in such a situation. The quickest way for me to forget about someone, was to immediately hook up w/someone else, usually in a sexual manner too. I've had many girls (before marriage) and whenever we'd break up for whatever reason, it was like a drug and I'd run to call some other hoes (that is what they were) and throw a big BBQ, get twisted, etc. It worked for me, but it's not the right answer by any means.
10-06-2005, 02:53 PM #13Originally Posted by SwoleCat
tried it before it sure didn't work for me.. I wish it did, because I could have a couple right now at my house ( LOL Not to sound cocky just the truth )..
My ex the one I am hurt over on the other hand does just what you do... LOL So I am sure some guy out there is plowing her away as we speak, *type*
10-06-2005, 03:28 PM #14Originally Posted by mustang331
Are u me? OMG!! your post is exactly what im going through right now...x-girlfriend and all (yeah yeah, save the comments).
if she is anything like every other woman i have delt with...she is in as much pain as you are. but since you tell her one thing, and are clearly feeling the total opposite...how is she supposed to know you are hurting? she is trying to cut her losses best she can but we all do stupid shit when drunk (and in love). you guys need to be totally honest with each other. communicate. what do you have to lose? just get everything out in the open and hopefully she will respect you and what you guys have enough to be honest with you. if you guys dont want the same thing...at least you KNOW and she KNOWS what the deal is. No one is a mind reader.
good luck...i feel your pain
BTW, it doesnt get easier unless you go through all the stages. give it time.
10-06-2005, 03:30 PM #15Originally Posted by SwoleCat
ha! believe it or not, i did that too...just made everything worse because i realized how GOOD i had it...
10-06-2005, 03:38 PM #16
Hang in there brother. Been in the same spot. Only time heals those wounds, and you will find someone that can take her place. There are many great girls out there and many worth loving, just takes time on all fronts.
10-06-2005, 03:58 PM #17Female Member
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- Oct 2004
- Running through your mind
Good thread. As many of you will recall I went through a very similar situation with my ex almost 4 months ago. Seems like years now. We have been talking on and off for the past 3 1/2. Turns out he moved away to a completely different state, and that has made things easier and harder at the same time. Luckily, I met a wonderful guy about a month ago, and we have been inseperable ever since. He's older and way more mature, and is on an entirely different level than my ex. My boyfriend now, made me realize that there are chapters in your life with certain people. Some you wanna keep in your life book, others you just want to start an entire book with. Interestingly enough, my ex is not in this one. I've learned that there's a reason why people in your past didn't make it to your future. And there's a time span for everything.
Learn that there is better out there, and you will get past it. You're prob. just in love with who she USED to be. That was my biggest issue. You don't want to give up because you've seen how they can be, and you don't want to let that go. But sometimes, to move on, you have to let go.
10-06-2005, 04:42 PM #18Originally Posted by PaRiS2005
Yep.. Couldn't be more true.. She faked a certain person to have me fall in love with her. She acted completley different in the beginning as do most people, but she flat out lied on who she was and what she stood for..
She will be 28 years old in a couple months and still has no idea what she wants for the future, NO DREAMS, and far from being ready to settle down. She still loves the club scene, and drinking scene. I would love to get into the details with her, but it's to long and you guys would lose interest within no time.. Just know she really is POS.
10-06-2005, 05:12 PM #19
After a while it get's easier
10-06-2005, 05:15 PM #20
hang in there bro i am in the same spot right now when me and my EX of 2.5 yrs, split i moved to Austin and she moved to Sarasota Fl, so this makes it harder bein in 2 diffrent states, i havnt seen her since febuary, it kills somedays, but you gotta keep ur head up, and she wants me to move down there to be togather to tell ya'll the truth im scared and i dont know if it is the right thing to do, someties we talk evreyday and sometimes we go days with calling each other so i dont think it 100% between us, somedays im gungho about moving there and other days i find myself thinking twice and saying to myself WTF are you thinking dont move for that hoe,,,,and i feel ya bro mine is 10 as well and she is prolly gettin plowed as well,,,but evreytime i think about this i tell my self....SINK OR SWIM
10-06-2005, 05:28 PM #21
time , it take s time, we all have been fed are lucnch so to speak by s signifigant other at least nce. my advice is, hang out with lots of frineds and family, lay off the boo's and drugs, they just make seems so much worse at times like this. i used to try to just hook up with as many girls as i could but i learnd that doesn't make it any beter, so don't lower your standards, aim high!!! another 10 is out there for you, one that is better. just be patient, and keep your EX away. goodluck
10-06-2005, 07:34 PM #22
Shitty deal man.. Nothing can drop a grown man to his knees faster than a woman, ive learned that as of late.
When I got out of highschool, I went on to play University hockey. Soon after I put on the old blocker and started strutting my stuff on the ice, I met a gorgeous 3rd year student. Pitch black hair, tanned, just gorgeous.
Fast forward through 3 1/2 years of hell with this woman, and we finally broke up. I was shattered. I quit playing hockey, just left my team high and dry without a goaltender. I took up eating pizza full time, my gpa dropped below 3.5, i gained over 100 pounds drinking and smoking dope everyday. I didnt know what to do with myself. I was like you, she was a 10, and I missed her more than anything.
It took a while to get over her, and ive taken most of the 100+ pounds I gained back off, Im working out 5 days a week, running, I just took time to myself alone, tyo make myself happier.
Recently I met a girl. a tiny little thing, cute as can possibly be, and a real sweetheart. She's not the drop dead gorgeous raven haired bitch I once spent my time with, more like a 7-8 if I had to rate her in the looks department. But damn am I ever happy. Everytime I look at her I smile. I smile when she stays over and I wake up next to her. I smile when she looks up at me with those big brown eyes and pouts. I smile when she gets mad, and my heart breaks when she's sad.
So, i know thats a big pile of mush, but what Im trying to say is stop looking for that perfect ten. Look for whats going to make you happy. Right now I couldnt be happier.
10-06-2005, 07:40 PM #23
there is no such thing as a perfect 10
10-06-2005, 07:43 PM #24Originally Posted by xtinaunasty
perfect 10, no such thing ????
1. Carmen Electra
2. your avaie
3. jenna jameson
4. jeniffer Aniston
5. all the girls in my porno DVD's
we mean perfect 10 in are eyes..
10-06-2005, 07:51 PM #25
but do you know these women? they may look like a perfect 10 on tv or on a mag. but when all the make up is washed off or they are forced to get by on there personality...im sure they average out. shit...if i could be made up by a professional and airbrushed for a day i would be a perfect 10 too...any woman (well, not every woman but you know) would be a 10. you gotta have the whole package though.
10-06-2005, 07:52 PM #26Originally Posted by mustang331
That's how they work. Love me now, ask questions later!
I was going to ask how young she was but you just mentioned it. She does sound younger than you though or at least on a different level.
It is hard at first but you have to let her go if she wont come to her senses.
My best cure for a hangove...I mean getting over an ex-lover of a long time is to stay busy. At the gym, with friends and with other females. It will help you get by and if she is still paying attention to you, it will show her that you can get by just fine without her which drives most women nuts.
good luck bro!
10-06-2005, 07:57 PM #27
lots of beer, lots of whores..
10-06-2005, 08:02 PM #28Originally Posted by xtinaunasty
I have met girls in person, with no makeup, who to me were perfect 10's.
10-06-2005, 08:04 PM #29
yeah my guy, i think we have all had are ups and downs in relationships. i was totally obsessed with this chick for 4 years and i took a hell of a plunge emotionally went things went sour.. lifting i have to say is what helped me out.. i directed all that energy and hurt into the gym. best thing i could have done for myself. this may not pretain to u but come to find out when it was all said and done, it was lust. i really didnt know who she was for those 4 years. now, i truly believe that i am better off without her. nowadays, i have a girlfriend/fiance with a baby girl. and they are exactly what i have always wanted!!! take it easy dude and GO HIT THE WEIGHTS!!!
10-06-2005, 08:07 PM #30
decadbalOriginally Posted by Decadbal
10-06-2005, 08:16 PM #31Originally Posted by mustang331
Believe me bro EVERYONE has been through this....you think it's so different from everyone elses experience but it is really the same...i felt the same way about someone as everyone before me posted has.......all i can say is it takes time.....going out to the bars with my friends didnt help me at all and other girls didnt either.....time is all it takes and I PROMISE you it will get easier as time goes on but for one last comment I will say that it will probably get worse before it gets better.
10-06-2005, 08:18 PM #32Originally Posted by Evil Predator
10-06-2005, 08:26 PM #33Originally Posted by xtinaunasty
Ok, dont believe me....
there are many girl out there who to me look perfect... Im sorry you have such a hard time believing it..
10-06-2005, 08:29 PM #34Originally Posted by Evil Predator
10-06-2005, 08:29 PM #35Originally Posted by Evil Predator
10-06-2005, 08:35 PM #36Originally Posted by xtinaunasty
Ok, I agree with that.
That body in your avatar is knockin on tens 10's door
10-06-2005, 08:41 PM #37
10-06-2005, 09:03 PM #38Originally Posted by Evil Predator
Rosie Oddonell dosent count.
10-06-2005, 09:56 PM #39Originally Posted by Lavinco
the sad part is she's actually older than me, by a year and a half.. I thought woman want mature faster.. huh...
She is on a 18-21 year's old level, while I am ready for much more mature things in life..
I feel " ok " tonight, i had a major break down 2 days ago which was really rough for me, but like everyone else I guess I will get over it..
And for everyone information, I am back in the gym FULL time this TIME
I was before but not that hard, now i got some energy to be used
10-06-2005, 10:02 PM #40Originally Posted by mustang331
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