Men and Women two worlds apart!!

[Billy Boy]

Any of these ring true??

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller,and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,answer the phone,read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.
What a man hears:
C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW

[Full Intensity]

LMAO! any more of these jokes and i'm bound to get slapped heheh

[PaPaPumP]

Wow, that was funny as shit. Good one bro.

[CYCLEON]

that was so true as to be scary!

[primodonna]

scaredy-cat

[CYCLEON]

meow

[primodonna]

i can take that 2 ways...and i prefer to take it the second way or else i would have to do some more name-calling

[SHOT]

aww shit lol.....good post bro....

[Sicilian30]

Okay I am askin to get bashed here by the females, (maybe I like the abuse or something?), but full there is some truth behind the joke there man.. all I am sayin... espeically the one about Sucess and men and woman.. Okay go ahead bash me..

[dane26]

[ptbyjason]

LMFAO, good one man. That was great.

[baby mac]

LMAO!! good post bro.

[arthurb999]

So true... bump

[StrongChick]

I should Hit you for that post, but you may like it! And, Hell, You did make me laugh!

[dzlx]

Heheh n1

[juicehoe]

funny, but this is from 2001

[Pale Horse]

Old post but ALL still hold water! My first question to God if I make it to Heavan when I ask about women will be WHY?

[inheritmylife]

Its funny because its true.

[Cali]

LOL I might have to admit to having 337 items in my bathroom even.... Think I have 5 or 6 different kinds of body soap in the shower alone, then there's the shampoos and conditioners....

[juicehoe]

LOL I might have to admit to having 337 items in my bathroom even.... Think I have 5 or 6 different kinds of body soap in the shower alone, then there's the shampoos and conditioners....

lol oh my...

[Cali]

lol oh my...

LOL~shouldn't have shared that?

[inheritmylife]

LOL~shouldn't have shared that?

This is one of the things that makes women irresistable. Smooth skin, soft hair, great smell, mmm mmm. What good is a girl if she isnt a little girly?

[rugbyking]

Any of these ring true??


*NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
*Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

they never look as good when you wake up especially if you were drinking the night before

[Lavinco]

LOL I might have to admit to having 337 items in my bathroom even.... Think I have 5 or 6 different kinds of body soap in the shower alone, then there's the shampoos and conditioners....

LOL I blah have blah, blah, blah in my bathroom blah, blah, blah 5 or 6 blah, blah, blah body blah in the shower alone, blah, blah, blah

[decadbal]

hahaha, settin a low standerd lav...