10-28-2005, 08:51 PM #1
Two guys were sitting at a bar, pounding shots like crazy after work. They were getting a liitle out of hand when one of them puked all over his suit! He says, "Oh shit! Marcy's gonna be mad when she finds out I've been out getting wasted again!" The other guy says, "Don't worry, here's what you do- Put this 20 dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell Marcy that you were at the bar having a meeting when some drunk asshole threw up on you at the bar. If she starts to give you any shit, just show her this twenty dollar bill, and tell her the guy gave it to you to pay for dry-cleaning!" Guy #1 thinks this is a great idea, so they continue to pound the hell out of the booze until they get kicked out of the place.
Guy #1 takes a cab home, and when he walks in the front door; Marcy can tell he's been drinking right away. She says, "You son of a bitch! You've been out getting shitfaced AGAIN!!!!" He slurs, "Nonono honnney, I was havvin a meeetin. I only had onebeer" She says, "BULLSHIT!! YOU"VE VOMITED ALL OVER YOURSELF!!" He says, "Iaven bin drinnn, sum aasshol threwuponme at the bar. Lokin my poockit, he gave me 20 dollars to payfer the drycleanin." She looks in his breast pocket and says, "There's forty dollars in this pocket!"
He says, "Ohyeaaa, I almoss fergot.............. He shit in my panns too."
10-28-2005, 09:13 PM #2
wah wah wah
10-28-2005, 09:58 PM #3
A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
10-28-2005, 11:38 PM #4
hahahhahahahahaha, now that was funny!
10-28-2005, 11:42 PM #5Originally Posted by devil1
10-29-2005, 01:00 AM #6Originally Posted by 100m champ
10-29-2005, 03:54 AM #7Originally Posted by alphaman
10-30-2005, 09:54 AM #8
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss one in the air, then catch it in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, the peanut fell into his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded only in pushing it in deeper. His wife tried to help, but after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.
The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat.
Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, "That's wonderful - isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?" The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"
10-30-2005, 10:25 AM #9Originally Posted by alphaman
10-30-2005, 11:50 AM #10Originally Posted by alphaman
10-30-2005, 01:50 PM #11English Rudeboy
Originally Posted by johan
- Join Date
- Aug 2004
10-30-2005, 01:53 PM #12Originally Posted by alphaman
10-31-2005, 03:59 AM #13
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