Thread: Bert Is Evil.com
11-05-2005, 11:49 AM #1
Bert Is Evil.com
Collected here are documents and images that show that Bert is Evil. Many of these documents were submitted by anonymous sources who choose not to be revealed. All the files have been verified and cross-referenced with the FBI and other Intelligence Agencies.
The following files may contain graphic information, please proceed with caution.
If you think you found more evidence that Bert is Evil, please send it to:
11-05-2005, 11:50 AM #2
In this rarely seen photo, we see Bert standing in the side lines a few seconds before the assassination of John F. Kennedy. We have sources who claim that Lee Harvey Oswald and Bert were friends in Korea. Though no proof directly points to Bert's involvement in this ghastly shard of history... we wouldn't be too surprised if he was.
Recently the investigating party found out that the picture in which Lee Harvey was shot had been tampered with. After intensive restoration it showed that Bert, allegedly Oswald's friend, widnessed the shooting. It raises a bunch of new questions, was Oswald supposed to die before he could point Bert as his accomplice?
11-05-2005, 11:51 AM #3
Bert takes Ernie to a Nudie Bar
We caught Bert dragging Ernie out of their apartment in Sesame Street and decided to follow to where they were going. We were shocked to find the two in a Girlie Bar. Bert was forcing Ernie to get lap dances from all the ladies. Poor Ernie went home crying.
11-05-2005, 11:52 AM #4
This photo was taken only days before the death of Mr. Hooper. Bert's evil intent so obviously emanates from his eyes. We think he did it. What do you think?
11-05-2005, 11:52 AM #5
11-05-2005, 11:53 AM #6
Shoot Me Up Elmo
During the early drafts of the Elmo doll idea. This Prototype was released. It was designed by Bert in hopes of teaching little kids to shoot up and extending his target market for drug trade. The plan was halted by Children's Television Workshop and was replaced with a more commercially viable doll.
11-05-2005, 11:53 AM #7
The Root of MJ's Evil.
Our investigators recently uncovered this old photograph of young Michael Jackson standing with Bert who is fondling his pelvic area. It is now clear where Michael Jackson's pedophilia stems from. Bert molested him as a child. He is only releasing frustrations and fears that have welled inside his mind for years.
In an interview with ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley, she confessed to us that Michael used to make her "Do the Pigeon" naked while he sat across the room and watched.
We tried to interview the "King of Pop" about this but all he could say was "I am a gentleman."
11-05-2005, 11:54 AM #8
The Jimmy Swaggart Scandal
This is a photo of Bert and our favorite televangelist Jimmy Swagart caught in the act "Doing the Pigeon". Taken back in 1987, this shot was long withheld from the public to protect the Children's Television Workshop. It was recently sent to us by Jim Bakker.
11-05-2005, 11:55 AM #9
Document from FBI Alien Dossier
This photo taken from the Aliens Dossier of the FBI shows the images of the two most aggressive aliens ever encountered on this planet . The Zeta Reticuli, allegedly responsible for the cattle mutilations, the ebola virus, the bubonic plague and the nuclear age. The Zeta Berticuli, allegedly responsible for infommercials, the deformed frogs of Minnesota and Nonoxynol-9. It is a well supported theory that Bert may be an alien or a muppet/zeta hybrid.
11-05-2005, 11:55 AM #10
I was wondering what he has been up to these days
11-05-2005, 11:56 AM #11
Lost excerpt of the Pam and Tommy Honeymoon video
During the honeymoon of Pamela and Tommy Lee, the couple went off to the desert to film themselves in a torrid orgy with Bert, (an old drug buddy of Tommy). It was actually Bert who stole the tape and distributed copies of it. Bert edited out the segments that showed him in the video to avoid his incrimination. Tommy and Pamela continue to deny their association with the muppet due to the fear that he might hurt them.
11-05-2005, 11:56 AM #12Originally Posted by Lavinco
I think those are Ernie's Shoes!
Bert's been known to rape and assault women. But he also seems to like orange-colored muppet friends. We recently received this picture which finally stops a lot of the rumors going on in our guest book. A lot of you people were concerned whether Bert and Ernie were having some sort of relation. We finally have proof. Although poor Ernie could do absolutely nothing to stop this vicious... NO!.. sorry, I refuse to go into details! You can see for yourselves.
(The person responsible for this picture wisely wants to remain anonymous)
11-05-2005, 12:00 PM #13
Bert & Osama Bin Laden
Previous rumors of Osama bin Laden (the man believed to be behind the World Trade Center in New York City, Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia, and U.S. embassies bombings in Kenya and Tanzania) and Bert being Partners in terrorism have now been Confirmed!
This TOP SECRET picture obtained by MSNBC and now in sole possession by the U.S Government was intercepted by My Man in the field, J-roen.
The U.S Government believes that Bert is an informant for Bin Laden, telling Him when and Where to attack. U.S officials have not been able to talk to Bert about this possible connection cause of his Muppet Immunity. The FBI has put Bert on their most wanted list, see picture below.
11-05-2005, 12:01 PM #14
The Worlds Best Kept Secret
For hundreds of years we have been led to believe that it was the crafty Serpent (as stated in Genesis) who deceived Eve into eating the apple from the Tree of Good and Evil.
2 days ago I received a Poster Tube in the mail with a Color Photocopy of the Picture to the left and an Anonymous Letter which read:
"2 weeks ago a rare one-of-a-kind Painting was stolen from a Vault in the Vatican. No reports have been filed and no one outside of a small circle of People in the Vatican know about the Painting cause it will "Tare the world apart!". Share the Painting with the World though your page! The truth must be told!"
Has all that we have been taught a total lie? Is the Church trying to cover-up the truth about how we "came to be"? Is Bert More EVIL then anyone could have Ever Imagined!?! We might never find the truth but, you can't at least give that Painting a second thought
11-05-2005, 12:04 PM #15Bad influence!!!
We tailed Ernie to a local bar one evening and watched him suck down nine double Jack and Cokes within an hours time. He then got up and stumbled around the bar with his pants down yelling "Who wants to wrestle the Bald Headed Champ?" Ernie had also offered several young ladies in the bar various amounts of money for sexual favors. Bert was called to come pick him up and Ernie has since been banned from the bar for life. On a side note, the bar was fire bombed a few days later. Ernie has been questioned in this incident, but charges have yet to be filed. We shot this photo as Bert was helping Ernie get home and seconds before Ernie puked on Bert for the third time.
11-05-2005, 12:10 PM #16
This picture was taken by Big Bird after a Sesame shoot.The picture gives a clear vision of how things really are at the set. Luckily enough little kids never got to see the dark side of Sesame Street.
11-05-2005, 12:16 PM #17
This is a self-portrait of Bert planning a sexual assault on a hotel employee in Colorado.
This pic dated from June 30, 2003 shows the equipment for his devilish plan: a latex mask of Kobe Bryant, his Lakers t-shirt and some stilts in the background, because basketballers are a bit taller than lil Bert.
11-05-2005, 12:18 PM #18Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
LMFAO @ Bert and Bin Laden, and Bert in the tree of knowledge.
11-05-2005, 05:12 PM #19
You don't know the half of it bro!!!
Check this one out!
11-05-2005, 05:26 PM #20
WTF LOL Crazy things you can find on the net
11-05-2005, 06:46 PM #21
Kolby one was great, the stilts in the back, priceless!!!
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