Anabolics
Search More Than 6,000,000 Posts
Results 1 to 17 of 17
  1. #1
    KrooC's Avatar
    KrooC is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,150

    Facts About Chuck

    drumroll..... and heres the top 10 little known facts about chuck norris


    1. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    4. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

    5. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

    6. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

    7. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

    8. Chuck Norris was working out in the gym with one of his daughter-in-laws. In an attempt to impress Norris, she started to train really hard. When she asked Chuck if he was impressed, he replied with "Weights don't hit back" and broke her neck with a roundhouse.

    9. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

    10. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

  2. #2
    Schwarz's Avatar
    Schwarz is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    773
    LMAO

    8. Chuck Norris was working out in the gym with one of his daughter-in-laws. In an attempt to impress Norris, she started to train really hard. When she asked Chuck if he was impressed, he replied with "Weights don't hit back" and broke her neck with a roundhouse.

  3. #3
    edmen2's Avatar
    edmen2 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    juiceville
    Posts
    2,040
    Quote Originally Posted by KrooC
    drumroll..... and heres the top 10 little known facts about chuck norris


    1. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    4. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

    5. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

    6. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

    7. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

    8. Chuck Norris was working out in the gym with one of his daughter-in-laws. In an attempt to impress Norris, she started to train really hard. When she asked Chuck if he was impressed, he replied with "Weights don't hit back" and broke her neck with a roundhouse.

    9. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

    10. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
    u can take chuck norris and ur total gym and stick them right up ur ***!
    i remember the movie when chuck got his ass kicked by bruce lee.

  4. #4
    RA's Avatar
    RA
    RA is offline Grade A Beef
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Getting madcow treatments
    Posts
    18,715
    11. He sucks a mean dick.

  5. #5
    RA's Avatar
    RA
    RA is offline Grade A Beef
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Getting madcow treatments
    Posts
    18,715
    How else do you think he can sell any of those pussy ass total gyms.

  6. #6
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Scotty, beam me up
    Posts
    14,223
    Quote Originally Posted by roidattack
    How else do you think he can sell any of those pussy ass total gyms.
    you are just jealous cause you dont have his sex appeal.

    Everyday you follow walker texas ranger and dream away into his breahtaking gaze wishing you could be more like chuck. High fiving the chuck sexdoll besides you everytime he nails a badguy.

    But dont worry, that total gym you just bought might make you as masculine as chuck in a few years.

  7. #7
    decadbal's Avatar
    decadbal is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    North Charlotte
    Posts
    11,924
    with all the walker bounty, youd think he could afford some nair for men

  8. #8
    RA's Avatar
    RA
    RA is offline Grade A Beef
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Getting madcow treatments
    Posts
    18,715
    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    you are just jealous cause you dont have his sex appeal.

    Everyday you follow walker texas ranger and dream away into his breahtaking gaze wishing you could be more like chuck. High fiving the chuck sexdoll besides you everytime he nails a badguy.

    But dont worry, that total gym you just bought might make you as masculine as chuck in a few years.
    You forgot my norris underwear, they have a pic of him with an open mouth on the inside.

  9. #9
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Scotty, beam me up
    Posts
    14,223
    Quote Originally Posted by roidattack
    You forgot my norris underwear, they have a pic of him with an open mouth on the inside.
    damn that would be scary.

  10. #10
    MotoXracer's Avatar
    MotoXracer is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Braaaaap
    Posts
    406
    11. When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck.

  11. #11
    RA's Avatar
    RA
    RA is offline Grade A Beef
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Getting madcow treatments
    Posts
    18,715
    12. His real first name is up. Chuck is his middle name.

  12. #12
    USfighterFC's Avatar
    USfighterFC is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    6,357
    #2 had me rolling for some reason...........shyt its not even funny

  13. #13
    steve0's Avatar
    steve0 is offline NASM~AFPA~CPT
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    TEXAS
    Posts
    3,995
    #3 craked me up so bad i spit water all over the key board

  14. #14
    KrooC's Avatar
    KrooC is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,150
    chuck is god dont be mad

  15. #15
    MotoXracer's Avatar
    MotoXracer is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Braaaaap
    Posts
    406
    Chuck Norris can devide by zero.<--- sorry, engineering dork alert

  16. #16
    Money Boss Hustla's Avatar
    Money Boss Hustla is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    8,101
    Bro. I am seriously LMFAO!!!!

  17. #17
    Doc.Sust's Avatar
    Doc.Sust is offline Retired "hall of famer/elite powerlifter"
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    a van down by the river!
    Posts
    11,248
    hahahahaha! good stuff!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •