Facts About Chuck

[KrooC]

drumroll..... and heres the top 10 little known facts about chuck norris


1. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

4. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

5. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

6. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

7. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

8. Chuck Norris was working out in the gym with one of his daughter-in-laws. In an attempt to impress Norris, she started to train really hard. When she asked Chuck if he was impressed, he replied with "Weights don't hit back" and broke her neck with a roundhouse.

9. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

10. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

[Schwarz]

LMAO

8. Chuck Norris was working out in the gym with one of his daughter-in-laws. In an attempt to impress Norris, she started to train really hard. When she asked Chuck if he was impressed, he replied with "Weights don't hit back" and broke her neck with a roundhouse.

[edmen2]

drumroll..... and heres the top 10 little known facts about chuck norris


1. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

4. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

5. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

6. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

7. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

8. Chuck Norris was working out in the gym with one of his daughter-in-laws. In an attempt to impress Norris, she started to train really hard. When she asked Chuck if he was impressed, he replied with "Weights don't hit back" and broke her neck with a roundhouse.

9. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

10. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

u can take chuck norris and ur total gym and stick them right up ur ***!
i remember the movie when chuck got his ass kicked by bruce lee.

[RA]

11. He sucks a mean dick.

[RA]

How else do you think he can sell any of those pussy ass total gyms.

[Kärnfysikern]

How else do you think he can sell any of those pussy ass total gyms.

you are just jealous cause you dont have his sex appeal.

Everyday you follow walker texas ranger and dream away into his breahtaking gaze wishing you could be more like chuck. High fiving the chuck sexdoll besides you everytime he nails a badguy.

But dont worry, that total gym you just bought might make you as masculine as chuck in a few years.

[decadbal]

with all the walker bounty, youd think he could afford some nair for men

[RA]

you are just jealous cause you dont have his sex appeal.

Everyday you follow walker texas ranger and dream away into his breahtaking gaze wishing you could be more like chuck. High fiving the chuck sexdoll besides you everytime he nails a badguy.

But dont worry, that total gym you just bought might make you as masculine as chuck in a few years.

You forgot my norris underwear, they have a pic of him with an open mouth on the inside.

[Kärnfysikern]

You forgot my norris underwear, they have a pic of him with an open mouth on the inside.

damn that would be scary.

[MotoXracer]

11. When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck.

[RA]

12. His real first name is up. Chuck is his middle name.

[USfighterFC]

#2 had me rolling for some reason...........shyt its not even funny

[steve0]

#3 craked me up so bad i spit water all over the key board

[KrooC]

chuck is god dont be mad

[MotoXracer]

Chuck Norris can devide by zero.<--- sorry, engineering dork alert

[Money Boss Hustla]

Bro. I am seriously LMFAO!!!!

[Doc.Sust]

hahahahaha! good stuff!