Homophobes, Read This Sh!t And Tell Me What U Would Do.
This is somewhat of a long story, but I have to go back to the beginning. OK, I was having dinner with a group of ten, fairly diverse group of 30's, 40's, couples, singles, but no homo's. We end up staying at the restaurant for drinks after dinner cuz they have a nice outdoor patio. The waiter who waited on us who was joking around with us throughout the dinner comes outside with his apron and tie off and starts mingling with us. I think nothing of it as the restaurant had closed and the bar was open and I had done this years ago when I was a waiter. At one point after speaking with almost everyone who was there, he looks at me and says "So, what do you do?" I told him I was a dentist. He asked where my office was and yada yada yada, the type of shit you ask someone you just met. He asks if I'm married. I say no. He says "Damn, you must pull a lot of ass in this town." I say something like "Yeah, I do OK, I guess". Then, we proceed to talk about CHICKS for the next 5 minutes, just what types we like, golddiggers, blah blah blah. After that, he turns and starts talking to somebody else and 30 minutes later I leave. . .
The next Monday, my secretary comes to me and says "Your friend Rick is on line 1". I think "My friend Rick? Do I have a friend Rick?" I pick up the phone "Hello?" and hear "HEY, MAN, IT'S THE RICKSTER! HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?!" I say "Uhhh, Rickster?" He says "Yeah, man, you know, Rick, the waiter from (omitted)?" I say "OH, yeah right. . . Uhhh, my weekend was good. Listen, Rick, I've got patients to get to so. . . ."
He says "Oh, that's cool. Listen, I just wanted to see when you wanted to get that drink?" What fvking drink was he talking about? "Listen, Rick, I don't know my schedule yet. Gotta go." "Alright, speak to you later."
So, then, there about FIVE moe calls like this over the next few weeks with me blowing him off everytime. It seems like the guy has no friends or something or maybe he needs a wingman, but he's a little creepy so I'm just trying to blow him off.
A few months go by.
I get a message on my machine "Uhhh, Hi. This is Uh, Richard. I'm interested in getting my teeth whitened so if the doctor could call me back at (omitted), I'd like to ask him a few questions" I KNEW IT WAS HIM. So now, I'm a little freaked out and of course, DO NOT call him back or even take his calls. He calls like that A FEW MORE TIMES OVER THE NEXT FEWMONTHS and then gives up. I don't hear anything for a few more months.
It is now 6 months after that dinner night. I haven't heard from him in a few months. I get a call at 9:30AM at the grocery store on my cell phone from ID UNAVAILABLE.
"Hello?"
"Ooooo, I wanna svck your big d!ck, you gorgeous stud!"
:?:
It must be one of my friends fooling around so I say
"Wow, you must be desperate cuz my d!ck is REAL dirty!"
"Oooooo, I don't care I just wanna svck it and fvck you and get you off like never before you b!g fvckin stud!"
It's not one of my friends. . . . :icon_piss IT'S RICK!
"Rick, I know it's you."
*Click* Hangup
A few minutes later . . .
"Hello?"
"You knew it was me?"
"Yeah, how could I forget your creepy voice?"
"So, why did you lead me on that night?"
:scratch: "What? What do you mean. We shook hands and talked about chicks for five minutes!"
"Yeah, but the way you looked at me. And you fingered my palm."
:?: "I DID NOT finger your palm. I HAVE NEVER fingered ANYONE's palm, especially a MAN'S palm cuz I am 110% straight."
"Well, listen. . . . . Basically, I just wanna svck your dick and fvck the sh!t out of you and. . ."
"WHOA! Stop right there! Understand something Rick. I am 110% straight. Even if youwere a hot chick, I wouldn't do this cuz you're so ****in wierd and creepy. Now listen, if you hang up right now and NEVER call me again or come near me, your health will not be in danger. But understand this, hear me clearly. If you EVER, EVER call me again or come anywhere near me, I swear on my grandmother's grave, I will put you in the ICU drinking through a straw. Is that understood?"
"But. . .:
"ARE WE CLEAR?!"
"Yeah, OK, good luck to you. . . ."
Whew, what would you guys have done? I hate talking to people like that, but I felt like there was no other way. God damn, this pretty face of mine. :aaGreen22
