Thread: Sad Thanksgiving
11-24-2005, 01:44 AM #1
I am sorry to say that i will be spending Thanksgiving flying back home to TN as my step-mother (might as well e be my mom) has been placed in Critical Care Unit and is on a respirator.
She had triple bypass surgery a number of years ago and i could not even begin to tell you how many times she has been hospitalized since then, she has been trying to get Social Security for a long time now as obviously she needs it, my Dad is also disabled from an accident back in 85' and they have been living off his income and do not have a phone, tv etc...
She actually met with a judge today and he stated how he could'nt believe that she had not recieved SSI yet and that he would push it through immediately. She came home and said she was tired..my dad said she looked like she was ready to pass out while walking to the bedroom, he checked on her after awhile and asked her if she needed anythingm she told him she would like the fan turned on, so he turned it on for her and left the room.
He checked on her once again a time later and he said she looked like she had attempted to get up and slumped over on the bed, she was turning blue already and since they cannot afford a phone he rushed to the neigbours and some guy helped him, he tried to help pick her up but his back gave out (3 surgeries) and he fell and they got the ambulance to come get her and they took her to my old High School parking lot and care flighted her to another Hospital out of town.
My dad says she can move her arms and that the doctors say this is normal but they told him that they cannot give him any hope of survival and that she is possibly brain dead from lack mof oxygen to her brain.
My Dad is very upset and i have never heard him this way, it really hurts to hear him talk..he basically says that he cannot live without her and that he does'nt wanna live etc...
I don't mean to bring anybody down, please enjoy your families on this holiday and if you can possibly take a few seconds out of your day and say a prayer not for me but for my father, i do fear he will take this hard, they were meant to be...he had 2 bad marriages and found his true love and then this happens, it seems sometimes life is'nt fair..so many evil people in this world and it seems the good people suffer...
I will fly out tommorow.....
Enjoy the holiday's bro's & Sis's
11-24-2005, 01:49 AM #2
its always sad to hear stories like this - especially about good people like you described. i hope everything works out and you can enjoy the time with them.
11-24-2005, 02:13 AM #3Originally Posted by MuckDog
11-24-2005, 05:57 AM #4
Sorry to hear that, man. Be there for your dad and remind him of how much you value and need him also. My prayers and wishes go out to you and your family.
11-24-2005, 07:26 AM #5
I will be flying out in about an hour, thanks alot bro's....
11-24-2005, 08:36 AM #6
Good luck, hope all turns out well, will be thinking of your family during prayer.
11-24-2005, 08:48 AM #7
You have my prayer's. Sorry to hear that.
11-24-2005, 09:14 AM #8
You and your family will be in my prayers my AR brother!
11-24-2005, 09:41 AM #9
sorry to hear this Nijia your in your prayers bruh, and i hope all is well
11-24-2005, 10:17 AM #10
Sorry to hear bro.
You are in my prayers.
Be there for your dad. Don't ever give up on him even if he gives up on himself. You won't regret it! I know. I've been there and my father is still here too because he had people that loved him.
11-24-2005, 10:43 AM #11
I'm sorry bro, I know what it's like to lose someone around the holidays. Stay strong we'll be here for you when you get back.
12-04-2005, 01:35 AM #12
Ok, i won't make this to awful long and i appreciate all the kind words.
I arrived Thanksgiving afternoon and the nurse explained to me that my mother had been declared Brain Dead @ 1:45pm that day and all we could do was pull the plug basically. I asked how long they think she had been without oxygen and they figured 30-40 minutes? For your info you can go without for 3 minutes or so.
My Dad was on his way to the hospital as he went home to shower as he had been there 2 days already and he did not know of the result from the nuerologist.
He arrived and of course was told and we were all upset, god it was so hard to see him hurt so bad. He just kept saying how she was his best friend, his everything and how he could'nt live wihout her. Man that was rough...
Well we waited until my sister flew in from California but she could'nt make it until Friday around 1pm, so we sat and listened to the machine click and watch her chest rise as she could not breath on her own and was the only thing keeping her alive. We had to meet with organ donor people etc... and finally my sister arrived and of course she became really upset which in turn upset us all.
We talked and watched over her, and then my Dad made the hardest decision i believe in his life as he left the room to tell the nurses to prepare to take her off the respirator. They came in and made us leave the room so they could remove everything and clean her up some.
We came back in the room and she of course was not breathing but her heart continued to beat for maybe 3 minutes, i held her hand while my Dad held her other as her heart slowly seized to beat.
I won't go into the details of what happens when your body does not have oxygen and your heart is stopping, we held her hands and said our goodbyes and she passed away with such a calm look on her face, finally she is no longer suffering as she did for so long. My Dad gave her one final hug and told her he loved her and we left the room
It is still hard to talk about let alone type it, i thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers.
***I obviously did not worry about following my diet/training and it has now been 1 1/2 weeks but i plan to be back on track on Monday***
12-04-2005, 08:28 AM #13
Bro I went throught the same thing last month with my Grandfather. The four of us were with him when he passed. Just watching someone's life slip away right in front of you has a way of putting things in perspective. Try and find some comfort in the fact that you got to be there with her. Some people don't get that opportunity. Take your time, grieving is a process although getting back to your old diet and training schedule should help.
12-05-2005, 07:17 AM #14
my condolences go out to you and your family.
12-05-2005, 07:31 AM #15
I went through similar situations with both my Grandfather with cancer and my Uncle with pneumonia,
I still remember sitting by my Grandfather, talking to him and looking in his eyes, knowing he was about to die.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
12-05-2005, 09:07 PM #16
Thanks bros for all the thoughts and prayers, just getting back to training/diet today...its been almost two weeks and i feel like shit physically of course from the lack of diet/training.
Felt so great doing my AM cardio today and am glad to finally be back on track.
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