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  1. #1
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Wink Internet personal ads disected and then some

    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
    40-ish..............................49
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
    Athletic............................No tits
    Average looking.................Ugly
    Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally Secure.............On medication
    Feminist...........................Fat
    Free spirit.........................Junkie
    Friendship first...................Former slut
    Fun.................................Annoying
    New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
    Old-fashioned....................No BJs
    Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
    Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
    Professional.......................Bitch
    Voluptuous........................Very Fat
    Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate................Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


    MEN'S ENGLISH:!
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

  2. #2
    G-Force's Avatar
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    ha ha

    its funny cos its true

  3. #3
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    ha ha

    its funny cos its true
    so lets here your ad:P

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    so lets here your ad:P

    hung like a donkey and sickenly romantic
    nuff said

  5. #5
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    hung like a donkey and sickenly romantic
    nuff said
    so u like elton john and are into beastialtiy..

    HMMM interesting

  6. #6
    oldman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
    40-ish..............................49
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
    Athletic............................No tits
    Average looking.................Ugly
    Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally Secure.............On medication
    Feminist...........................Fat
    Free spirit.........................Junkie
    Friendship first...................Former slut
    Fun.................................Annoying
    New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
    Old-fashioned....................No BJs
    Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
    Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
    Professional.......................Bitch
    Voluptuous........................Very Fat
    Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate................Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


    MEN'S ENGLISH:!
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

    30ish attractive, well built, unattached professional male seeking Adventurous, Open-Minded lady for romantic dinners and slow dances.

    >> What this means is:

    About to turn 40 year old fat man with a face only his mother could love just got thrown out by his wife and needs a place to live hoping to find a slutty, nympho for sex and then more sex.


    Oldman

  7. #7
    G-Force's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    so u like elton john and are into beastialtiy..

    HMMM interesting
    ok i'll try again..

    kind, caring, loving, sensitive blah blah blah
    with a big penis

  8. #8
    oldman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    ok i'll try again..

    kind, caring, loving, sensitive blah blah blah
    with a big penis
    Meaning:

    Lives at home with mommy, sleeps with teddy bears, never been laid, gay... orders from Adam and Eve website for large toys..





    Oldman

  9. #9
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    you just cant win with these things

  10. #10
    oldman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    you just cant win with these things
    At least not on this site.

    Heck I personally would never run a personal ad because I would hate to see the girls dissapointed face when she saw me. her >> and then running away screaming..


    Oldman

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldman
    At least not on this site.

    Heck I personally would never run a personal ad because I would hate to see the girls dissapointed face when she saw me. her >> and then running away screaming..


    Oldman

    most dating sites have pics available - of course this doesnt mean it was a recent photo - they couldve gained 20lbs in the mean time

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
    40-ish..............................49
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
    Athletic............................No tits
    Average looking.................Ugly
    Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally Secure.............On medication
    Feminist...........................Fat
    Free spirit.........................Junkie
    Friendship first...................Former slut
    Fun.................................Annoying
    New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
    Old-fashioned....................No BJs
    Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
    Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
    Professional.......................Bitch
    Voluptuous........................Very Fat
    Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate................Stalker
    So how would u describe urself then??

  13. #13
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schwarz
    So how would u describe urself then??
    I say im cute, muscular, 5'6, 122lbs, with a wicked smile. educated.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    I say im cute (girly looking/spotty and with braces), muscular (skin and bones), 5'6, 122lbs, with a wicked smile (i am an evil b!tch). educated. (only passed one exam)

    sorry had to get you back

  15. #15
    Smak is offline AR's Midget Beater
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    so lets here your ad:P
    haha damn mizfit. does this pertain to you? Cute is not on the list.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smak
    haha damn mizfit. does this pertain to you? Cute is not on the list.
    I don't think i am describable..i am what i am

    "I'm either a breath of fresh air or a storm".. u decide

  17. #17
    Smak is offline AR's Midget Beater
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    I don't think i am describable..i am what i am

    "I'm either a breath of fresh air or a storm".. u decide
    you're a a little petunia buried in the snow.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    I don't think i am describable..i am what i am
    So, you're Pop-eye?

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by 63190
    So, you're Pop-eye?

    i am what i am pop eye the sailor man

    it took me a while to get that

  20. #20
    63190's Avatar
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    Guess I'm the only otaku, that's Japanese for "animé-nut".

  21. #21
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 63190
    So, you're Pop-eye?
    Ya want me to poke your eye out:P

  22. #22
    RA's Avatar
    RA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
    40-ish..............................49
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
    Athletic............................No tits
    Average looking.................Ugly
    Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally Secure.............On medication
    Feminist...........................Fat
    Free spirit.........................Junkie
    Friendship first...................Former slut
    Fun.................................Annoying
    New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
    Old-fashioned....................No BJs
    Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
    Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
    Professional.......................Bitch
    Voluptuous........................Very Fat
    Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate................Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


    MEN'S ENGLISH:!
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay



    100% accurate.

  23. #23
    63190's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    Ya want me to poke your eye out:P
    Don't be mad. Your the one who said "I am what I am"

  24. #24
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 63190
    Don't be mad. Your the one who said "I am what I am"
    I don't get mad that easily

  25. #25
    63190's Avatar
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    Just even, right? LOL Oh boy, I'm going to die a slow and painful death.

  26. #26
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 63190
    Just even, right? LOL Oh boy, I'm going to die a slow and painful death.

    Nah... your alright

  27. #27
    63190's Avatar
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    Yay. He who scampers and runs a way, lives to scoff another day.

  28. #28
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    hahahaha

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    I don't get mad that easily

    i beg to differ


  30. #30
    Myka's Avatar
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    Just dont date humans...go with animals...just think about it...

  31. #31
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    i beg to differ


  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit

    oi
    thats the second time youve pissed on me
    stop it or i might start enjoying it

  33. #33
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Force
    oi
    thats the second time youve pissed on me
    stop it or i might start enjoying it
    kinky?

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    kinky?

    actually a girl i was seeing asked me to partake in a golden shower - i said no at first but thought about it and thought what the hell - i'll try anything once
    (i might start a thread about that actually)

    we broke up before we got chance to do it though

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