Internet personal ads disected and then some

[Mizfit]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
Athletic............................No tits
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Feminist...........................Fat
Free spirit.........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun.................................Annoying
New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Professional.......................Bitch
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:!
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

[G-Force]

ha ha

its funny cos its true

[Mizfit]

ha ha

its funny cos its true

so lets here your ad:P

[G-Force]

so lets here your ad:P

hung like a donkey and sickenly romantic
nuff said

[Mizfit]

hung like a donkey and sickenly romantic
nuff said

so u like elton john and are into beastialtiy..

HMMM interesting

[oldman]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
Athletic............................No tits
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Feminist...........................Fat
Free spirit.........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun.................................Annoying
New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Professional.......................Bitch
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:!
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

30ish attractive, well built, unattached professional male seeking Adventurous, Open-Minded lady for romantic dinners and slow dances.

>> What this means is:

About to turn 40 year old fat man with a face only his mother could love just got thrown out by his wife and needs a place to live hoping to find a slutty, nympho for sex and then more sex.


Oldman

[G-Force]

so u like elton john and are into beastialtiy..

HMMM interesting

ok i'll try again..

kind, caring, loving, sensitive blah blah blah
with a big penis

[oldman]

ok i'll try again..

kind, caring, loving, sensitive blah blah blah
with a big penis

Meaning:

Lives at home with mommy, sleeps with teddy bears, never been laid, gay... orders from Adam and Eve website for large toys..





Oldman

[G-Force]

you just cant win with these things

[oldman]

you just cant win with these things

At least not on this site.

Heck I personally would never run a personal ad because I would hate to see the girls dissapointed face when she saw me. her >> and then running away screaming..


Oldman

[G-Force]

At least not on this site.

Heck I personally would never run a personal ad because I would hate to see the girls dissapointed face when she saw me. her >> and then running away screaming..


Oldman

most dating sites have pics available - of course this doesnt mean it was a recent photo - they couldve gained 20lbs in the mean time

[Schwarz]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
Athletic............................No tits
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Feminist...........................Fat
Free spirit.........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun.................................Annoying
New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Professional.......................Bitch
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker

So how would u describe urself then??

[Mizfit]

So how would u describe urself then??

I say im cute, muscular, 5'6, 122lbs, with a wicked smile. educated.

[G-Force]

I say im cute (girly looking/spotty and with braces), muscular (skin and bones), 5'6, 122lbs, with a wicked smile (i am an evil b!tch). educated. (only passed one exam)

sorry had to get you back

[Smak]

so lets here your ad:P

haha damn mizfit. does this pertain to you? Cute is not on the list.

[Mizfit]

haha damn mizfit. does this pertain to you? Cute is not on the list.

I don't think i am describable..i am what i am

"I'm either a breath of fresh air or a storm".. u decide

[Smak]

I don't think i am describable..i am what i am

"I'm either a breath of fresh air or a storm".. u decide

you're a a little petunia buried in the snow.

[63190]

I don't think i am describable..i am what i am

So, you're Pop-eye?

[G-Force]

So, you're Pop-eye?

i am what i am pop eye the sailor man

it took me a while to get that

[63190]

Guess I'm the only otaku, that's Japanese for "animé-nut".

[Mizfit]

So, you're Pop-eye?

Ya want me to poke your eye out:P

[RA]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
Athletic............................No tits
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Feminist...........................Fat
Free spirit.........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun.................................Annoying
New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded.....................Desperate BJ's an option
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Professional.......................Bitch
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:!
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

100% accurate.

[63190]

Ya want me to poke your eye out:P

Don't be mad. Your the one who said "I am what I am"

[Mizfit]

Don't be mad. Your the one who said "I am what I am"

I don't get mad that easily

[63190]

Just even, right? LOL Oh boy, I'm going to die a slow and painful death.

[Mizfit]

Just even, right? LOL Oh boy, I'm going to die a slow and painful death.

Nah... your alright

[63190]

Yay. He who scampers and runs a way, lives to scoff another day.

[decadbal]

hahahaha

[G-Force]

I don't get mad that easily

i beg to differ

[Myka]

Just dont date humans...go with animals...just think about it...

[Mizfit]

i beg to differ

[G-Force]

oi
thats the second time youve pissed on me
stop it or i might start enjoying it

[Mizfit]

oi
thats the second time youve pissed on me
stop it or i might start enjoying it

kinky?

[G-Force]

kinky?

actually a girl i was seeing asked me to partake in a golden shower - i said no at first but thought about it and thought what the hell - i'll try anything once
(i might start a thread about that actually)

we broke up before we got chance to do it though