The first problem is that when you approach God, you start by flattering him - telling him how great he is and how much you admire him. Basically, the Christian God is modelled on a fat little oriental pontentate - a sheik or a sultan. One of those "a thousand pardons, great one, I approach your throne as an unworthy worm to beg a favour of your munificence, your countenance is like the light of a thousand suns, magnificent one" dudes. Embarrassing, insincere, formulaic flattery makes God mellow.
Satan, by contrast, is interested neither in worshipping nor being worshipped. For him, its like "why would I want something stupid like that?"
The next problem is what you expect to get out of
prayer.
The main thing I got out of prayer as a Christian was a warm fuzzy feeling that God really did understand my problems, and an assurance that he really did have a plan for my life. Everything is under control. It'll be OK.
Prayer to God made me feel safe and cared for. A dangerous illusion, seeing that there actually is no God.
Satan is a realist, and not interested in people who fool themselves. So the main thing that I prayed to God to get, I would not get from
Satan. So if I *did* pray to
Satan, what would have happened?
I approach
Satan. He is not on a throne, lounging around accepting praise. The infernal one is busy at some sort of workbench with his back to me. Oh - and he's 12 feet tall, is red and black and has leathery wings. Hey - can't escape my culture all *that* easily.
Me : (clears throat) Satan: (looks around, annoyed) What do *YOU* want? Me: Well, it's about my job Satan: You want me to do something about your job Me: Um, yeah SatanWhat have *you* done about it recently - say, yesterday? Read any papers? Applied for anything? Hustled your contacts? Me: Well, uh Satan**** off and stop wasting my time. (turns back to what he was doing)
Which is EXACTLY what I want from a non-existent deity (which they all are). Someone who is really not interested in my problems, and tells me he is going to give me no help at all. So I didn't
pray to
Satan after all.- It would have been a waste of effort, and embarrassing. I'll get the paper tomorrow, and ring a few people - a much better idea.