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  1. 10-25-2005, 05:03 PM #1
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    Things you dont say to a cop

    • I only had one officer Mr. Keg.

    • Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

    • Want to race to the station, Sparky?

    • I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

    • On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

    • You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!

    • Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

    • Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?

    • How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

    • Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

    • I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

    • Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

    • Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

    • Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

    • Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

    • You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

    • "Bad Cop! No Donut!"

    • I was trying to keep up with traffic.

    • You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

    • "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"

    • Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

    • Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.

    • I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

    • So, uh, you "on the take", or what?

    • Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

    • Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

    • So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?

    • Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

    • When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the camcorder.

    • Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

    • Aren't you one of the Village People?

    • Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!
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  2. 10-25-2005, 07:44 PM #2
    JDawg1536
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    ill add one to the list..."you think you're so tough with that gun and that badge, why dont you put them down and we'll see how tough you really are" dont say that........
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  3. 10-25-2005, 07:58 PM #3
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    who has time to sit and chat? Slam it in overdrive and put the pedal to the metal till he's gone!
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  4. 10-25-2005, 08:19 PM #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lavinco
    who has time to sit and chat? Slam it in overdrive and put the pedal to the metal till he's gone!
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  5. 10-25-2005, 08:21 PM #5
    SnaX
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    • I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
    Like that one a lot! lol
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  6. 10-25-2005, 08:37 PM #6
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    theres anothre list of these thats much better.. but this one has some good ens
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  7. 10-25-2005, 09:13 PM #7
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    My friend was pulled over one time at night speeding at about 110mph on a 45mph road. When the cop pulled him over he says to the cop...

    "Thank God you're here officer, I was being chased by this crazy guy with a gun behind me, I had no choice but to speed."

    The cop let him go, and the cop went to look for the other guy. LOL.
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  8. 10-25-2005, 11:20 PM #8
    JDawg1536
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    Quote Originally Posted by inspector_injector
    My friend was pulled over one time at night speeding at about 110mph on a 45mph road. When the cop pulled him over he says to the cop...

    "Thank God you're here officer, I was being chased by this crazy guy with a gun behind me, I had no choice but to speed."

    The cop let him go, and the cop went to look for the other guy. LOL.
    ****in bullshit, i tried the same story, and the prick says to me "get out of the car, you're under arrest for reckless driving".....faggott
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  9. 10-25-2005, 11:24 PM #9
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    hhaahah this thread cracks me up
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  10. 10-26-2005, 05:27 AM #10
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    • Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
    BAHAHAHAAHAHA..AWESOME post
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  11. 10-26-2005, 05:33 AM #11
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    cops r nice to women
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  12. 10-26-2005, 05:50 AM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    cops r nice to women
    they might be,maybe thats cos your hot dont you think
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  13. 10-26-2005, 05:50 AM #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    cops r nice to women
    Not when you ask them "don't you have something better to do with you time?" That one was worth the ticket, asshole pulled me over for tint when I was stopped at a light with my windows half way down and the sunroof open

    Speeding, then I'm very nice (and pull out the PBA cards)...
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  14. 10-26-2005, 08:10 AM #14
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    OH.... here another one I heard the other day...

    you get pulled over by a cop for doing 85 in a 55... the cop comes up to your door and ask "Do you know why you were pulled over" and you respond"Because you wanted my Dunk and donuts Coupons)

    Ya.. thats another one you dont want to sayt to a cop
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  15. 10-26-2005, 08:13 AM #15
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    i am about to be a cop, i will save this list and see how many of these i hear my first year
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  16. 10-26-2005, 08:30 AM #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MILPOLDAN1
    i am about to be a cop, i will save this list and see how many of these i hear my first year
    Good luck with that... I know a bunch of cops, and I have a close friend who is one. Fringe benefits are great for him
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  17. 10-26-2005, 08:35 AM #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerzey
    Good luck with that... I know a bunch of cops, and I have a close friend who is one. Fringe benefits are great for him
    oh cant wait
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  18. 10-26-2005, 09:32 AM #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerzey
    Not when you ask them "don't you have something better to do with you time?" That one was worth the ticket, asshole pulled me over for tint when I was stopped at a light with my windows half way down and the sunroof open

    Speeding, then I'm very nice (and pull out the PBA cards)...
    PBA? proffesional bowlers association?
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  19. 10-26-2005, 09:34 AM #19
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    i dyed my hair green about 5 years back and got pulled over doing 95 in 65 on the way to work and when the cop came to the window to give me a ticket he looked at me and told me he'd let me go because i had enough problems already. didn't know what he was talking about till i looked in my rear view mirror to pull back into traffic and saw my green hair.
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  20. 10-26-2005, 10:04 AM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by punchrf
    PBA? proffesional bowlers association?
    You aren't from the tri-state area are you? lol (I know you are Cali)

    Most are FOP but here it's the PBA (Policeman's Benevolent Association) hence, PBA cards of cops you know to get out of tickets... I keep a few on me at all times....
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  21. 10-26-2005, 10:06 AM #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerzey
    You aren't from the tri-state area are you? lol (I know you are Cali)

    Most are FOP but here it's the PBA (Policeman's Benevolent Association) hence, PBA cards of cops you know to get out of tickets... I keep a few on me at all times....
    I'm quoting myself I know, but this the same reason I hate an ordeal in VA with a cop.. #1, they hate yankees (NY, PA) and #2, they are FOP and don't respect PBA Needless to say, after almost getting arrested in a speed trap on 95 IN TRAFFIC (my car sticks out a little, lol) I took the jackass to court and got off.... but it was a nice penny. I'd rather pay that anytime then those scumbags

    Ok, my rant is over.. anyone ever need a great VA criminal lawyer, let me know
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  22. 10-26-2005, 01:14 PM #22
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    im a non active member of the FOP
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  23. 10-26-2005, 01:56 PM #23
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    hey havent we meet in rehab:P j/k
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  24. 10-26-2005, 02:56 PM #24
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    dammit i hate how chicks can get off so easily...
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  25. 10-26-2005, 03:06 PM #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    dammit i hate how chicks can get off so easily...
    No punn intended?
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  26. 12-24-2005, 04:03 PM #26
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    love this thread
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  27. 12-25-2005, 12:15 AM #27
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    When i got my DUI i told the cop when i got pulled over that i wasn't gonna dance for no monkey... lol... i said then when he wanted me to step outa my truck....straight to jail my ass went... i knew it was comin.
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  28. 12-25-2005, 11:11 AM #28
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    I have a few real close friends that are cops. I will tell you what they are ass holes also just not to me. But in NJ 90% of that are on a ****ing power trip.
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  29. 12-25-2005, 02:23 PM #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    cops r nice to women
    only when they look like you miz!
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  30. 12-25-2005, 02:33 PM #30
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    "What seems to be the officer problem?"
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  31. 12-25-2005, 03:00 PM #31
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    Back in my raving days a buddy of mine got pulled over for a drug search and the cops found 1/2 oz of speed on him,
    "I suppose you're going to tell us this is for personal use huh?" the cop asked,
    "Yup" says my buddy Kev,
    raising his eyebrows the cop replies "Oh yeah, how long would it take you to get through this little lot then?"
    imagine how much we all cringed as Kev chimes in with "Get your stopwatch out and I'll show you"
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  32. 12-25-2005, 03:37 PM #32
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    Q"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
    A"Yeah, I'd be pissed off too if I caught the guy who f*cked my mom last night."
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  33. 12-28-2005, 04:42 PM #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by NotSmall
    Back in my raving days a buddy of mine got pulled over for a drug search and the cops found 1/2 oz of speed on him,
    "I suppose you're going to tell us this is for personal use huh?" the cop asked,
    "Yup" says my buddy Kev,
    raising his eyebrows the cop replies "Oh yeah, how long would it take you to get through this little lot then?"
    imagine how much we all cringed as Kev chimes in with "Get your stopwatch out and I'll show you"
    that is a classic, i have mates who say things like that, and everyone else just stands there salivating at the possibilities of what might happen next lol
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  34. 12-28-2005, 04:56 PM #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by inspector_injector
    My friend was pulled over one time at night speeding at about 110mph on a 45mph road. When the cop pulled him over he says to the cop...

    "Thank God you're here officer, I was being chased by this crazy guy with a gun behind me, I had no choice but to speed."

    The cop let him go, and the cop went to look for the other guy. LOL.
    wow.. i'm glad he didn't blow a tire, or run over a child in the street..

    45mph it must have been a 2 lane road..
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