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  1. #1
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    Rassis the bodybuilder, the legend , our story!!

    Ok, well I met this guy tonight who like totally motivated me. His name is Rassis. I met him because I was feeling suicidal and walked down the street in the pouring rain w/ a bible, sat on this bridge over the gorge, and thought about jumping. I was depressed over my training, crashing hard from my cycle. A dirty musclebound black gentlemen came out of the fog from nowhere, walked by and asked me"how much you bench nigga'?" I looked startled and replied "250 sir" he says to me that it's good weight for my size, and he didnt expect that kind of iron from a white boy like myself. Rassis was musclebound, about 320 shredded, but filthy. He was wearing a pair of dirty overalls and he looked like he had just crawled out of a coal mine. His hair looked like Don Kings, and he wore a necklace made out of some Wooly Mammoth teeth. He was missing teeth from where he lost it w/ some heavy dumbbells once he said. He then asked me if he could see the bible I had stuffed in my jacket? "Rassis, how do you know I have a bible?" I said. Rassis replied "Dont worry, I've been in this game so long I sense everything...I sense WTF a nigga' thinks when he see's me walk by. I look like a dirty coal mining overall wearing mother****er!!!" I said "Come again?" Thats what you have been thinking standing here looking at me, he says. I felt a feeling rush through my entire body that I have never felt before, it felt as if all my problems had dissapeared for that very moment, and a higher power had drifted through my soul. We talked some training for awhile, and he told me some old timer strategies and tricks of the trade. He also talked about his competitions and how Golden Era bodybuilding really went down. "Hell, niggaz deeze' days dont wanna work fo' shit!!! Back in my day you wasnt even allowed in da' gym till' u could press w/ 300lbs. It wasnt like that pussy Gold's Gym you train at, they didnt harass the **** out yo' ass fo' military pressin wit' da 110's, and if a motha****a' even thought bout' proachin' you, he damn well betta' be jacked and back his shit up, or backdafukup!!!!!" Wait a second I said. You know where I train now, are you a stalker or something." He then replied to me,"First of all, dont ever raise your voice to me again, and you dont make eye contact wit' me until you've earned that right, I told your skinny white ass from the get go, I know everything about everyone.......you best not forget that." That shocking feeling as if some higher power ran through my body began to run through it again, like wildfire. "I know why you've come to this bridge Stacked, and your ****in' up wit' dat mindframe you got, one of dem' pussies at Gold's do this to you? who make u think this way? "I dont know Rassis, lately shit has just been falling off. I mean, I'm coming off cycle, crashing pretty hard, depressed, women problems, money, etc etc." Rassis listened softly as I went on for 10 minutes about my problems. "So you just goin' walk away, u goin' give up, you goin' let society bring you down, and dat pussy ass gym, and dat Fear Factor softy TV show influence you and bring yo' goody two shoe white ass, to jumping off dis MUTTA.......FU*KIN' GORGE.... WIT A BIBLE IN YO' GOD DAMN HANDS!!! I looked at the ground and cried out to Rassis that I didnt know what to do anymore. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back up. "NIGGA, GIT' UP!!! he shouted in a drill sergeant like voice. THIS SHIT IS A MARATHON, IT AINT NO SPRINT, AND THERE AINT NO GOD DAMN FINISH LINE!!! NOW YOU GOIN' WOLF DOWN DEM' SHAKES, YOU GOIN' TRAIN LIKE YO' LIFE DEPEND ON IT, AND WE GOIN PUMP YOU UP WHITE BOY" His speech was 10 times harsher than the Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. He then said to me "Now theres alot about this game you dont know, and I'm here to help. Tonight lets go get some pizza at this place down the road, have a few Newports, and forget about it" So we went and got some grub and had some cigarettes. I smoked 2, Rassis had 13 of them back to back as he spoke of his glory days of bodybuilding. I then thanked him for his motivating words and his help, and he replied "Dont mention it, I'll be at your gym at 5am tomorrow morning so we can train, be there or be a bitch" He kindly took my Newports away and crushed them in the cold wet puddle beneath his foot, with his size 15 Timberland boot.He then placed his giant hand on my shoulder and said to me "Get some rest boy, starting tomorrow.......IT'S ON!!!" And then, jut as he appeared that night.........he disappeared into the fog.



    Stay tuned for tomorrows story of our first day at the gym together, we're doing some shoulders and arms. I gotta sleep, we're jogging there in the morning, it's going to be tough!!!

    -Stacked

  2. #2
    kman's Avatar
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    Is this for real?

  3. #3
    Smak is offline AR's Midget Beater
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    Damn cuz, what a deep fuqin story. It's good to hear you're getting back on track to stayin stacked. Remember emotions are running wild when you're cycling so don't let that affect your judgement or behavior.

    Now my question is how's he going to afford going to "Gold's" with you? Either way it looks like you got yourself a solid training partner from here on out. Keep us updated mah nukka.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smak
    Damn cuz, what a deep fuqin story. It's good to hear you're getting back on track to stayin stacked. Remember emotions are running wild when you're cycling so don't let that affect your judgement or behavior.

    Now my question is how's he going to afford going to "Gold's" with you? Either way it looks like you got yourself a solid training partner from here on out. Keep us updated mah nukka.


    I have no idea how he's going to afford it, we'll see tomorrow

  5. #5
    Smak is offline AR's Midget Beater
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    Quote Originally Posted by stayinstacked
    I have no idea how he's going to afford it, we'll see tomorrow
    Hey he might be the next "Charles Glass"

  6. #6
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    Dude, thats friggin wicked. I'm stpked to hear the rest of this saga. Reminds me of this old dude MOOKIE who taught me to surf. good luck stacked glad to see your back on track.

  7. #7
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    ****, I wish I had a little Asian woman w/ a kung fu grip here to massage my damn arms Smak, they are smoked from todays lift.

  8. #8
    Smak is offline AR's Midget Beater
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    Quote Originally Posted by stayinstacked
    ****, I wish I had a little Asian woman w/ a kung fu grip here to massage my damn arms Smak, they are smoked from todays lift.

    lol where's poison ivy when you need her?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnabolicAndre
    Dude, thats friggin wicked. I'm stpked to hear the rest of this saga. Reminds me of this old dude MOOKIE who taught me to surf. good luck stacked glad to see your back on track.

    Yeah, you'll hear the rest guys, I'll keep you all updated on things b/ Rassis and I. I think he's a pretty good guy, and this will help bring me out of this slump and break some plateaus. Gotta go eat again, outtie for the night fellaz

  10. #10
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    Get pics bro....guy sounds like a beast, and like he saved your ass!

  11. #11
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    scriptfactory is offline Anabolic Member
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    No way. Is this a true story? If so we gotta make a movie about that shit!

    Like a real bodybuilding movie in a "mockumentary" format. It would be relatively low cost. I only need a camera man and I someone to run the mike and someone to do the editing, but I can help with that. Who's up for it? BTW, this will take place in Germany/Austria/Holland so I need everyone to get plane tickets and fly here.

  12. #12
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    okay so did yall workout today or what?

  13. #13
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    Rassis kicked my ass in the gym today!!!

    He showed up on my doorstep this morning in the rain at 4:45a, and made me cook him some eggs and grits before we left for our jog to the gym. As I scrambled our eggs he looked at pictures of my fiance and I and walked around nervously with his hands in his pockets. I was hoping he wasnt going to take anything, but i just kept scrambling the eggs and gave him the benefit of the doubt. We sat down and ate breakfast at the table and had some coffee together. As we ate breakfast Rassis began to give me a little pep talk about our lift. "Now Stacked, before we go to the gym today, I want you to ask yourself one question, and that is, what do you want to achieve with your bodybuilding?" I sat there and pondered on his question for a few seconds, then replied "Well, I just like doing it I guess. I like the way it makes me feel, and the feelings of accomplishment when I get to a new level, you know what I mean right?" Rassis looked at me with a big grin on his face and then said,"Yeah, but any pencil neck can get that feeling of accomplishment if he stays in the gym a couple weeks, I want you to shoot higher than that kid!!! How much bread dem' kits o' GH cost yo' ass in yo' fridge ova' dare?" Well I said, I paid like $900 for them. "And how much money all that gear in yo' safeco lock box run ya' just fo' dis cycle?" Ummmmm, let me think here........I dont know man, like 5 bills. "Listen to me white boy, you spendin' alot o' cash on dis' now, $$ on yo' food, $$ on yo supplements, money on yo' juice!!! So we need to take this to a higher ground. By next summer or fall, I wanna see yo' scrawny white ass in a magazine, and I want you ass to compete in at least 2 shows, then we shoot fo' da' nationals bitch!! Now eat yo' god damn eggs so we can go lift." We finished our breakfast and began the jog. It was a long jog, the gym was about 5 miles from my house, and Rassis kept stopping every ****ing 10 minutes for a Newport. We had made it as far as the Waffle House and came upon a 10 speed bicycle chained to the phone pole. Rassis huffed and puffed and barely mouthed out the words "L...ets.....hu huh huh take..puff puff COUGH COUGH...da'...mutta****in' bike. " the bike had a lock on it but Rassis busted it with a rock he found nearby. I rode him on the handlebars down the middle of the street, kind of like Snoop Dogg in the old Jin and Juice video. The handle bars got Rassis's torn up sweatpants wet from the rain, but I dont think he really cared. They were those old nut hugger sweatpants, plain grey in color, and he wore a red and black lumberjack shirt w/ cut off sleeves. We finally got to the gym and I asked him how he was going to get in. He told me to go to the front counter and ask about monthly tanning prices, and he'd take care of the rest. So I go in and did as he said, and Rassis was on his belly doing an army crawl right by the counter. I waited until he had passed enough that he was out of the guy's vision, and then told the guy at the counter "Well thanks for the info, but I'd rather look chemo white forever than to pay your ****-me-in-the-ass prices on your worthless tanning beds and your overpriced tanning lotion!! But thanks anyways." Rassis was over loading up a barbell on the military press w/ 225. "Damn dude, dont you want to warm up first?" This is my mutta****'n warm up cracka'. He threw up 20 reps like it was cake, and racked it. I got 10 reps fairly easy as it was my first set. Rassis then grabbed 2 more 45's to make it 315lbs on the bar. "Dude, thats too much for me" I said. No, it aint too much fo' you. You white boyz have dis' one track mind dat choo always gosta be adding pussy increments to da' bar, yo lil' 2 1/2 lb plates and yo 5's and 10's and sit'. This is grade A 100% straight up NIGGA MUSCLE BUILDING!!! We dont add anything but 45's, and if you cant add ano da' den yo ass rep out wit' it den'!! Rassis actually had a good approach, it was a mental barrier breaker. If you cannot comfortably use the heavier weights ,you do as many reps as u can until failure until one day you force yourself to work w/ an additional 90 lbs. "You white boys got dis' thing that 2 plate look big, but mutta****a' ,it only 45 lbs per arm, think of it like dat frum now on" I unracked the 315 lbs and pushed it for 4 reps solid, then it became very heavy!!! As I almost quit Rassis screamed out "DRIVE THE SHIT!!!" I did another, then as I got stuck again he screamed out "OWN DA' SHIT!!" i DID ANOTHER, then as I got struggling on the very last one he screamed out "WHO'S THE SHIT!!!" What motivating words i thought to myself, drive the shit, own the shit, be the shit, hmmmmm. Rassis unracked the 315 and the crazy ****er banged out 12 on his own, as he began to struggle he let out obscenities a sailor couldnt even come up with. "Push dis mutta****a like my dik in bitch azz, PUSH DIS' MUTTA****A LIKE MY DICK IN BITCH AZZ, I..........GOIN......GIT, THIS MUTTA****A.....LIKE THAT FOO' THAT... **** MY EX WIFE, and up the reps went. He got done with his set and slammed the weight onto the rack in a breathing and shooken frenzy. I could see the gym employee out of the corner of my eye walking straight towards us, oh no I thought. "Hey guys, could you please refrain from making the obscenities and noises, I just yelled at this one the other day for clinging our precious 110's and he obviously doesnt listen." Rassis quickly stood up off the bench and approached the man chest to chest. "You got a snowballs chance in hell of stopping dis' nigga' from doing a GOD DAMN THING!!! I spent 20 in Alkatraz and believe me son, I make you my bitch!! as he started to untie his sweatpants to add to the effect of his words. Chip, the Golds employee quickly walked away. As we started to do our bicep routine I noticed him on the phone giving a description of Rassis. "He's about 6'4" ,maybe 340lbs? he's black, dirty, and mean looking. You guys better get down here fast, this guy looks like the giant from the Green Mile. As soon as we finished our biceps I told Rassis of the news I overheard. He became furious, and threw an 80lb db through one of the glass mirrors, shattering it into a million pieces. He then walked quickly towards Chips counter, as if he were Jason w/ a machete. Chip saw him and tried to run out but Rassis grabbed him by his Abercrombie haircut and pulled him back in his playpen. He began wrapping the phone cord around his neck w/ one arm while making a protien shake w/ the other. "I try to be nice to yo' ass, give you fair warnin', now you ****ed me, and when you **** me it only goes downhill boy!!" He pounded his protien shake as he held the strangled kid by his hair, and when he was done he threw him in the janitors closet. I asked him what we were gonna do and he told me "Workouts over for today, we'll throw tri's in w/ chest tomorrow. Get some sleep, I'll see yo' ass tomorrow at 5am. He jumped on the stolen bike as we heard sirens coming and hauled ass down some railroad tracks and dissapeared under a bridge. But here is the weird thing. Rassis goes under the bridge, but never comes out the other side. I look under the bridge and he's gone!!! I took off running and hung out inside the Waffle House eating a PWO meal and listening to the jukebox, waiting for the drama to die down. Finally got home this morning around 10:00a.


    I'm beat, I'll let you guys know how the weekend goes w/ our training when I get back to my PC Mon or Tues.

  14. #14
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    Good story, but Ronnie coleman does not live under a bridge.......LOL

  15. #15
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    K, here he is guys
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Rassis the bodybuilder, the legend , our story!!-rassis.jpg  

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by stayinstacked
    Rassis grabbed him by his Abercrombie haircut and pulled him back in his playpen. He began wrapping the phone cord around his neck w/ one arm while making a protien shake w/ the other.
    damn, so let me get this straight... dude, nevermind, there is to much to get straight. either you are losing it, or you have got some crazy ass shit going on in your life lately

    some kind of supernatural psychic body building legend enters your life in your dire time of need and teaches you how to get your white ass back in the game...sweeet

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by scriptfactory
    No way. Is this a true story? If so we gotta make a movie about that shit!

    Like a real bodybuilding movie in a "mockumentary" format. It would be relatively low cost. I only need a camera man and I someone to run the mike and someone to do the editing, but I can help with that. Who's up for it? BTW, this will take place in Germany/Austria/Holland so I need everyone to get plane tickets and fly here.

    i totally agree with this guy, it's about time for another inspiration roid movie

  18. #18
    AnabolicAndre's Avatar
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    wow this story is getting better by the day.. keep us informed.

  19. #19
    C_Bino's Avatar
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    Is this a big joke?
    I honestly cant tell because the stories just seem way too far fetched.
    What's the deal, cuz I know you didnt meet the guy from Green Mile on a ****in bridge man.

    -Bino

  20. #20
    BajanBastard is offline VET Retired
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    You must have alot of time on your hands to sit down and make this shit up. lol

  21. #21
    Keyser Sozey is offline Anabolic Member
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    The story is great, but this part sounds like something you would hear before a prison style raping.....

    Quote Originally Posted by stayinstacked
    "First of all, dont ever raise your voice to me again, and you dont make eye contact wit' me until you've earned that right, I told your skinny white ass from the get go, I know everything about everyone.......you best not forget that."

  22. #22
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    sweet

    sweet story

  23. #23
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    Its fiction but I like it, keep this shit updated....eventually, copy/paste this and turn it into a ****in book and publish that shit.

    AR members get a free copy of course, right?!

  24. #24
    skribbble is offline Member
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    what a sweet story. I cant wait to train myself tommororw

    I just read the 2nd part... "began wrapping the phone cord around his neck w/ one arm while making a protien shake w/ the other."

    come on now?

  25. #25
    MASTER's Avatar
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    not bad but victorian guys stories were the best

  26. #26
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    So... let me get this straight... Michael clark Duncan has picked you up from the gorge and is revolutionizing your trainnig and diet? Hmmm...

  27. #27
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    I have to raise this flag on this one.

  28. #28
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    Great story, but i'm thinking something like a "fight club" syndrome. I will stayed tuned though, this is quite ammusing.

  29. #29
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    I hope it IS all true that brother is one swole dude I hope we get some training tips out of it. Of course I really do not think he really takes that way at least he did not in the Scorpion King so not sure why he would be living on the street now.


    Oldman

  30. #30
    Warrior's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stayinstacked
    He was missing teeth from where he lost it w/ some heavy dumbbells once he said.
    Actually, I correspond with Rassis regularly and he recently got his teeth fixed... here is a pic from when he took me to a celebrity brothel with him... its funny 'cause ever since he got his grill done he doesn't speak in ebonics or call me a "nigga" anymore...

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Rassis the bodybuilder, the legend , our story!!-michael_clarke_duncanshop.jpg  

  31. #31
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    Well, I can finally type now. Sorry its been a couple days guys, Rassis and I did some triceps/chest Friday, and I havent been able to lift my forearms to type.



    He showed up at 4:45a again, dressed in an old faded Notre Dame sweatsuit. Definitely another nut hugger outfit, you could see his horse dick through the sweatpants material, it stopped just above the knee. I invited him in the house for some egg whites and Captain Crunch cereal before our lift. After about 2 boxes of Captain crunch and 3 cartons of eggs we were ready for our jog to the gym. I was concerned about going back to the same gym after what Rassis had pulled w/ Chip, the counter jockey Abercrombie boy, so I told Rassis of a hardcore gym I know of. He sounded very enthused and excited when I described the gym to him. So we began the jog downtown full of motivation. I had my water bottle in my backpack w/ some energy bars and a few bottles of suspension for the trip that day. Rassis had a Camelback full of Schlitz malt liquor to quench his thirst after a hard days lift. We finally arrived to the gym. "So where the **** it be at? I ont' see no gym Stay'stacked." I said to Rassis as I pointed down to the oversized man hole cover in the middle of the street," Your at the entrance bro" We opened the manhole cover and as we climbed down the 30 ft ladder we heard the sounds of some of the great powerlifters and bodybuilders of the area grunting and cussin' as they banged out their reps. The gym was one of the cities best kept secrets, it was an underground gym which was fornicated by a few hardcore guys who had to forclose on their homes b/ of their juice habits and could no longer afford gym memberships or had a roof over their heads. But as hardcore as it was, it had some great amenities that alot of other gyms have!! For example, there was a tanning bed which was hotwired to a power supply behind a Dunkin Donuts, there were Cots and hammocks for the guys who had to sleep there, and a vending machine stocked full of ampules and orals. Also a great sound system which bumped so hard some of the manhole covers would lift up if they had it turned up too loud. The underground gym was sectioned off from the city's main sewer line by a brick wall w/ some concrete the guys had built. The weight plates were the old style ones that rusted and only fit the thinner bars, and there were actually some home made weights down there made out of wooden crates full of rocks some of the strongmen guys used. Anyways, enough of that, heres how the lift went down!!! Rassis was so excited by this gym he immediately tore off his shirt screaming "Lets git' it on" like the Tough man ref shouts before each match. We started w/ chest. I began to load up a bar w/ some plates for flat bench and Rassis cussed me and told me he only wanted the crates full of rocks for todays lift. So I loaded up enough rocks to make it heavy enough I couldnt clean the bar attached to the crates, Rassis had to clean it for me and set it up on the bench. If I had to guess I'd say it was a good 600 lbs. Rassis banged out a few reps screaming in anger and spitting saliza 3 or 4 ft above his mouth into the air. "Push diz' bitch.......like dick in bitch azz ......p...ush....dis bitch.....like dick in bitch....azz!!!" And up the reps went. I couldnt use half the lbs he was using, but I tried my best as usual. We did 4 sets total. Then we moved onto the incline bench. It was going great, good and stong, but something had thrown Rassis's last set off. As he was pushing around 500 lbs of boulders on his set, a sewer rat ran across his foot throwing him off. "Ahhhhhhhh fukkkk, dat' mutta****a' just ****ed his self, throw my set off like a bitch!!! He ran over and grabbed it, taking a bite out like Ozzie and the bird, then threw it as the bloody mess scattered the sewer wall. "I aint goin' have no mutta****'n Mr. Jingles sewer rat rodent bitch azz mutta****a punk throw me out a rotator cuff!!!" It was getting pretty freaky now. I mean, this guy just has these killer instincts, a gentle giant by no means. So we move onto fly's which just consisted of holding 80 lb rocks in each hand to work grip strength, and a flyward motion on a flat bench. After fly's we hit up some triceps, did some skull****ers followed by some tricep "rock extensions" holding a boulder behind our heads seated. Rassis went over to the guy at the counter and had requested some good music for his sets. So the guy put in some three six mafia, and then it was on. That song Ridin Spinnaz came on, and Rassis went ape shit. The part of the song that goes"I put the petal to the metal and ERRRRGHHH, well every rep Rassis yelled out the ERRRRGGGHHH part with an angry retarded face. Suitable for man like himself, he posessed retard strength. The lift went excellent, I bought a few ampules of some Omnadren for us out the vending machine, and they gave Rassis a free week to try it out, no obligations. Also, outside the manhole cover off to the side of the dead end street there is a bicycle rack for the guys, so Rassis is stoked. We shook hands,"Good lift white boy, I'll see ya tomorrow,same time, same mutta****'n place. Be dare or be a bish!!!" And then, he turned around and disappeared into some sewer gas.


    I'll keep you guys posted, thanks

  32. #32
    Nismo's Avatar
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    So in the second part he made you his bitch right. First he said "Make me my god damn breakfast bitch with god damn toast and some damn jelly". Then he stole a bike and made your ass pump him all the way to the gym??? Oh man!!! This is good shit. Havent read the third one yet but just wanted to give you kudos for the first and second one.

  33. #33
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    BTW you should get him some new sweats... Those nut huggers dont make you laugh?? Good shit bro

  34. #34
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    Alright!!! I just read the third one. Bro, I was believing your ass untill the last one with the city beneath the city crap. Especially when that dude from the greem mile ripped his shirt off and started to press the crates full of rocks. Then the last thing was the throughing of the sewer rat. It's all BS but a great story non-the less. Keep them comming Stack!

  35. #35
    *Narkissos*'s Avatar
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    i'm enjoying.. keep 'em coming Stacked!


  36. #36
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    OK so its obvious this is purely a joke now. But I'm sorry I just dont find it the least bit funny. Its just a retarded story that has no real point to it, every sentence is just non-stop swearing.

    -Bino

  37. #37
    hoss827's Avatar
    hoss827 is offline Banned
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    this is the shit, make it a book. lol

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by C_Bino
    OK so its obvious this is purely a joke now. But I'm sorry I just dont find it the least bit funny. Its just a retarded story that has no real point to it, every sentence is just non-stop swearing.

    -Bino



  39. #39
    BG's Avatar
    BG
    BG is online now The Real Deal - AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
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    Good times, looking foward to part 3 . Dont worry, Bino thought it was real at first now is angry.

  40. #40
    USfighterFC's Avatar
    USfighterFC is offline Anabolic Member
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    I dont get any of this

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