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  1. #1
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    Only in israel, You can marry a dolphin......

    http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/bri...732717451.html
    http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7...191923,00.html

    British woman weds dolphin
    December 30, 2005 - 8:27AM

    British tourist Sharon Tendler has finally made her dream match - by "marrying" a dolphin she has been visiting for 15 years in the Israeli resort of Eilat, the mass-circulation Yediot Ahronot daily reported.

    Tendler, 41, has been visiting the city on the Gulf of Aqaba two or three times a year to spend time with her 35-year-old underwater sweetheart.

    "The peace and tranquility under water, and his love, would calm me down," the Israeli daily quoted her as saying.

    Last week Tendler finally plucked up the courage to ask the dolphin's trainer for the mammal's fin in marriage.

    The wedding took place Wednesday, with the bride, wearing a white dress and watched by amazed spectators, walking down the dock to where the groom was waiting in the water.

    She kissed him, to the cheers of the spectators and then, after the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, was tossed into the water so she could swim away with her new husband.

    "I'm the happiest girl on earth," the bride was quoted as saying.

    "I made a dream come true. And I am not a pervert."

    DPA
    So guys can marry the animal of your choice.

  2. #2
    ZIA1's Avatar
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    Well, that's what Liberal Democracies allow a human being to do...CHOOSE. Of course, you wouldn't know about that.

  3. #3
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    ok AIZ whats the name of your df (dolphin friend) dophy??

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilitiaGuy
    ok AIZ whats the name of your df (dolphin friend) dophy??
    i am amazed to where u dig up these articles ,

  5. #5
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zOaib
    i am amazed to where u dig up these articles ,
    well you dont need to dig them up, "israeli" stories are everywhere

  6. #6
    USfighterFC's Avatar
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    i'd marry a dolphin if it looked like jessica alba

  7. #7
    eGGz's Avatar
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    I have this silly notion that you should keep it within your own species. Guess I’m old fashioned.

  8. #8
    USfighterFC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eGGz
    I have this silly notion that you should keep it within your own species. Guess I’m old fashioned.

    Get with the times bro....animals is the new thing

  9. #9
    friscas is offline New Member
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    so, uhh, are they gonna "do it"

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by USfighterFC
    Get with the times bro....animals is the new thing
    Well, my mom had this mink coat back when I was a teen..... Does that count?

  11. #11
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    not unless you fvcked it

  12. #12
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by friscas
    so, uhh, are they gonna "do it"
    I dont think the male dolphine have a penis hehe so I guess its only love

  13. #13
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  14. #14
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    thats fuc k dolphin., actually ill just bring it here



    How to **** a dolphin



    Dolphins: FAQ on Mating
    (Note : Unfortunately, as of 2005, this popular site seems to be gone forever.)

    Yes, I am perfectly aware there are many kinds of sex fetishes out there. There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces. But dolphins ? Anyway, if you want to have sex with a dolphin (and who doesn't ?), this is the guide for you. Please note in passing that the image to the right was called "yum.jpg" on the web site (for some reason, now called "fun.jpg").

    Here is how to proceed :


    1. Where to find a dolphin ?

    Aquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. You also need luck :


    Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.

    And if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own.


    2. Pre-sex assessment of the situation

    First, you need to figure out 1. the gender of the dolphin and 2. figure out if the dolphin is aroused.

    To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.

    Figuring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.

    Also, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks.


    Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?

    A3) Accept, if possible!


    3. Having sex


    A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length.

    Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.

    The female dolphin can be either masturbated or ****ed, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her. At this point, my brain is already beginning to rebel against what I'm reading, so I'll let the author do the explaining for me :


    Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

    One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.

    In conclusion, good luck, and if you have a baby with a dolphin, don't forget to tell someone other than the National Enquirer.

  15. #15
    USfighterFC's Avatar
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    Whaaaaaaaaaaattt

  16. #16
    Unoid is offline Member
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    I love israelies, they respect Americans for the kind and most generous people in the world. I'll wear my leather BALD eagle and stars jacket when I visit if its cold and i'm sure I'll get cheering and smiles from everyone when I visit israel.

  17. #17
    Kale is offline ~ Vet~ I like Thai Girls
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiger909
    thats fuc k dolphin., actually ill just bring it here



    How to **** a dolphin



    Dolphins: FAQ on Mating
    (Note : Unfortunately, as of 2005, this popular site seems to be gone forever.)

    Yes, I am perfectly aware there are many kinds of sex fetishes out there. There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces. But dolphins ? Anyway, if you want to have sex with a dolphin (and who doesn't ?), this is the guide for you. Please note in passing that the image to the right was called "yum.jpg" on the web site (for some reason, now called "fun.jpg").

    Here is how to proceed :


    1. Where to find a dolphin ?

    Aquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. You also need luck :


    Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.

    And if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own.


    2. Pre-sex assessment of the situation

    First, you need to figure out 1. the gender of the dolphin and 2. figure out if the dolphin is aroused.

    To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.

    Figuring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.

    Also, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks.


    Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?

    A3) Accept, if possible!


    3. Having sex


    A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length.

    Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.

    The female dolphin can be either masturbated or ****ed, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her. At this point, my brain is already beginning to rebel against what I'm reading, so I'll let the author do the explaining for me :


    Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

    One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.

    In conclusion, good luck, and if you have a baby with a dolphin, don't forget to tell someone other than the National Enquirer.
    I am almost scared to ask where you found this

  18. #18
    smokethedays's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale
    I am almost scared to ask where you found this
    in one of his 'magazines'.
    it's called Human/Animal love

  19. #19
    fully_paully's Avatar
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    There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces.
    wtf.

  20. #20
    Kale is offline ~ Vet~ I like Thai Girls
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    Quote Originally Posted by smokethedays
    in one of his 'magazines'.
    it's called Human/Animal love

  21. #21
    ZIA1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiger909
    That cute...except it was a foreigner who married the dolphin...not an Israeli.

  22. #22
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unoid
    I love israelies, they respect Americans for the kind and most generous people in the world. I'll wear my leather BALD eagle and stars jacket when I visit if its cold and i'm sure I'll get cheering and smiles from everyone when I visit israel.
    I am sure the "israeli" will help you find a female eagle so you can spend the night with her , but be aware from the claws!!!

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by eGGz
    I have this silly notion that you should keep it within your own species. Guess I’m old fashioned.
    LOL. how ****ing stupid is that woman? i hope her honeymoon goes well.

  24. #24
    Unoid is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilitiaGuy
    I am sure the "israeli" will help you find a female eagle so you can spend the night with her , but be aware from the claws!!!
    I'll bring clippers.

    If I visited Syria with the same jacket I'd be shot.

  25. #25
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    Don't knock the animal sex... once you go goat... you'll never go BAAAAHHHCK.

  26. #26
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    Only M'guy only him!

  27. #27
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3Vandoo
    Only M'guy only him!
    w00t

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilitiaGuy
    w00t

    After your marriage to a camel, I thought you would be really open to this type of thing....

  29. #29
    MilitiaGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    After your marriage to a camel, I thought you would be really open to this type of thing....
    man if you still seeing these fantasies about me plz go see a psychatrist your situation is serious!!

  30. #30
    STONES2 is offline Associate Member
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    Jerry ,Jerry, Jerry!



    Twostones

  31. #31
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    I think i'll lay off the roids!! you are fukin doooooolaly! high calorie diet it is..........haha - Hasn't Israel got enough problems as it is without having to worry about the orphaned baby freak dolphins that will inevitably result from this freakish marriage?! as happened with the abandoned child of the guy who married a chimp.......ofcourse their child became famous as a singer.....now known as elton john, but thats not the point. the future is bleak........i'm afraid we've had it. gone are the days of the human being, although i have to admit i sometimes feel i decended from the elephant with regards to certain bodily features........but once again a a whole other point! anyway, may the dolphin and his new wife enjoy eachothers company nonetheless. they have much in common apparently....they both have a hole in their head.
    Later

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