Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Be forewarned, this is just going to be me venting out... with that said, I don't know what the f*ck is wrong with me.
Here goes, there's this girl (isn't it always) that I really care about that just confuses the sh*t out of me. I haven't talked to her much for about 2 months, maybe twice in that time because she said that she cannot deal with me and the way that I react to situations (violently). She has some issues to resolve herself, she was abused as a child and was assaulted a few years back which has left her pretty traumatized.
Anyways, she was in town yesterday and I went to go see her. We were just going to hang out and watch a movie, but we ended up going to bed together. In the morning all I could think of was what the f*ck did I just do! I don't know why she went through with it, so I told her that I was sorry about the whole thing.
She told me, well, it doesn't change anything about the way I feel about you.
My trip is that I just need to leave her alone but I can't. She tells me that she really does like me but dealing with her emotional problems and me are too much for her and she can't get over it.
But then, she tells me that she loves spending time with me, she loves beign with me yada yada yada and sends me mixed signals, we end up in bed, oops, same sh*t again, can't deal with you.