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  1. #1
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
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    Funny story

    THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

    We've all heard the phrase "you learn something new everyday."

    Well, here's today's lesson: Think before you speak!! This actually happened at Harvard University in October last year.

    In biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?"

    "That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.

    Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"

    After a stunned silence, the class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return.

    However as she was going out the door, the Prof's reply was classic.

    Totally straight-faced he answered her question:
    "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."

  2. #2
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    ripped4fsu is offline Anabolic Member
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    My kinda girl!

  3. #3
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    that was DEFINATELY a classic

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    i love that one!

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    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
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    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
    turkey.
    Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

  6. #6
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    haha keep em comming

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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
    turkey.
    Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
    That's a good one! I heard that story before but it wasn't a turkey. It was some other kind of animal.

  8. #8
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
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    warning this is a very nerdy story

    At New York's Kennedy International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

    Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "X" and "Y ", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "there are 3 sides to every triangle."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".

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    A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the University on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
    "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends asked.
    "It's a 'thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. Yesterday she called me and told that she had passed her math final and wanted to drop by to thank me in person. She arrived at my place on her bicycle. When I had let her in, she took all her clothes off, smiled at me, and said: 'you can get from me whatever you desire!'"
    One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."
    "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

  10. #10
    scriptfactory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the University on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
    "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends asked.
    "It's a 'thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. Yesterday she called me and told that she had passed her math final and wanted to drop by to thank me in person. She arrived at my place on her bicycle. When I had let her in, she took all her clothes off, smiled at me, and said: 'you can get from me whatever you desire!'"
    One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."
    "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"
    Hahahaha!

    One a side note, I would have taken the bike too. It's worth a lot more than pussy.

  11. #11
    pump_hungry is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by johan
    warning this is a very nerdy story

    At New York's Kennedy International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

    Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "X" and "Y ", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "there are 3 sides to every triangle."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".


    hahaha, I'm nerd

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