Attention: All Sexually Active Men!!!

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by johan

dipolomatic huh

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

Does the female have to have pretty ass or is it all the same in the dark..

i know your all so happy im taking part in this discussion

there are 3 golden rules

1. The dick has no eyes.

2. The tounge has no eyes.

3. Beauty is a light switch away.

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

dipolomatic huh

Yupp

I think the more valid question would be. Do you enjoy getting your sallad tossed.
But I am a gentleman so I wont ask that question.

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by johan

Yupp

I think the more valid question would be. Do you enjoy getting your sallad tossed.
But I am a gentleman so I wont ask that question.

depends on the dressing

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by johan

there are 3 golden rules

1. The dick has no eyes.

2. The tounge has no eyes.

3. Beauty is a light switch away.

We cant forget the lemma to the 3 golden rules.

Beauty and sobority has a inverse square relationship.(yeah Im a geek)

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

depends on the dressing

Now this is starting to slip into the kinky realms

**Theatrix** · 01-15-2006, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by johan

We cant forget the lemma to the 3 golden rules.

Beauty and sobority has a inverse square relationship.(yeah Im a geek)

Johan, after sipping my Belvedere, I had to read this twice.

**musselman** · 01-15-2006, 07:44 PM

OMG... conservative chinese man here says ass rimmers will burn in hell...

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by musselman

OMG... conservative chinese man here says ass rimmers will burn in hell...

did u need us to save u a seat sir

**AnabolicAndre** · 01-15-2006, 08:01 PM

comic relief!!

I love it!

I actually mentioned this to a girl I am seeing at the moment, lets just say it made for some interesting conversation.

**musselman** · 01-15-2006, 08:01 PM

haha sorry... I just can't get past the psychological barrier of "burying my tongue" in someone else's craphole... but if it betters the sexual relationship and I didn't see it it ain't none of my business...

**Mike Dura** · 01-15-2006, 08:06 PM

Ha ha!! Good stuff. I love rimming but my girlfriend won't let me. She tells me, that's gross! What's wrong with you? Bummer.

Originally Posted by Justin Sane

Let your girlfriends toss your salads or vice versa!!! Please sit down with your lady friends and have them read my analogies to better living. This is a free session to elevate your sexual encounters with your significant others... I will treat this session as a trial, my services can be rather expensive so please DO NOT take it with a grain of salt!

Here is 5 steps to better living... please take notes (stayinstacked, I know you are not an advocate of this process, you need to treat your mind like a parachute and open it):

1. Clean up

Cleanliness is even more of a issue with an****gus than with traditional oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You or your partner should soap their butt, and rinse thoroughly with warm water. An enema usually isn't necessary if you wash well.

2. Ease in

Let you partner relax and get comfortable with you exploring their posterior before you bury your tongue in their lovehole. Massage their back and buttocks, kiss and caress their thighs and ass cheeks. Spread their cheeks and blow warm breaths over their hole. Lick, suck, and nibble their butt, perineum (the area of skin between the azz and genitals), and the skin around their pucker. Get everything warm, wet, and lubricated with saliva. Buttholes usually contract when stimulated, and then expand. Lick gently or tap the tip of your tongue against their butt, and wait for a response. After a bit of gentle probing, the sphincter muscles should start to relax and welcome deeper exploration.

3. Work your tongue

The anal region is full of sensitive nerve endings just begging for your tongue's caress. Keep your mouth moist and supple as you work their hole over. Keep your tongue loose and paint wide circle around their pucker. Make it tight, long and pointed to probe and penetrate. Work it in and out, around and around, till your partner begs for more.

4. Use your hands

In some ass-eating positions, your hands may be full keeping your partner's butt cheeks spread to allow you better access to their bunghole. But it's worthwhile to convince them to either sit on your face or reach back and clamp their ass open wide themselves. That way you can put your own paws to work massaging your partner's clit, or tweaking her nipples.

5. Pig out

Once you've got your face in your partner's butt, don't hold back. Worship your partner's ass. Get lost in it, make love to it. If both partners approach it with openness and enthusiasm, they will be rewarded with unparalleled enjoyment, whether eating ass is a main course, a spicy side dish, or appetizer for anal sex.

As I said, this consultation has been a curtesy session. Any PM's or e-mail inquiries can be deemed in exchange for cilias, a sweedish penis pump, and the Hollywood hit, "Position Impossible". Please excuse me, I have many other clients to attend to.

Muahahahahahaha

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by AnabolicAndre

comic relief!!

I love it!

I actually mentioned this to a girl I am seeing at the moment, lets just say it made for some interesting conversation.

What did she say?

I was talking about this to a female freind recently too..

**Alex2** · 01-15-2006, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

U haven't been here long enough to ask those sorts of questions

Wow, tough girl

**powerliftmike** · 01-15-2006, 09:18 PM

Why all the anal talk?

**Carlos_E** · 01-15-2006, 10:09 PM

Been there, done that. And have gone back for seconds.

As long as we shower together first and I know it's clean it's fair game.

**Carlos_E** · 01-15-2006, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by musselman

haha sorry... I just can't get past the psychological barrier of "burying my tongue" in someone else's craphole... but if it betters the sexual relationship and I didn't see it it ain't none of my business...

Read the first part. You have make sure it's washed and clean first then you can mentally let go of the crap hole thing.

**Tren Bull** · 01-15-2006, 10:20 PM

im not too eager to eat out a chicks ass, but i love licking cl_t... hell, il do that for hours.

**Carlos_E** · 01-15-2006, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by Tren Bull

im not too eager to eat out a chicks ass, but i love licking cl_t... hell, il do that for hours.

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

**tryingtogetbig** · 01-16-2006, 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

some people say suicide is cool too though....

**Anabolios** · 01-16-2006, 12:37 AM

toss-my-salad .com hahahaha he ripped it off from there i had to search for it after you wrote this and its not your advice!!!! YOU LIARRRR you are just as bad as HOSS!!!

**Carlos_E** · 01-16-2006, 01:50 AM

Originally Posted by tryingtogetbig

some people say suicide is cool too though....

With that attitude I feel sorry for your wife or girlfriend.

**Dave321** · 01-16-2006, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by Anabolios

toss-my-salad .com hahahaha he ripped it off from there i had to search for it after you wrote this and its not your advice!!!! YOU LIARRRR you are just as bad as HOSS!!!

I thought this was assumed???

Next time I will document my ass eating literature and provide full source checks for interested members.

**GQ-Bouncer** · 01-16-2006, 08:00 AM

and thank god i'm still at the stage where "normal sex" is still ap p e a l ing

(sorry for some reason appe****g is sensored)...

btw, having sex before your married is a SIN people... A SIN!

**Mesomorphyl** · 01-16-2006, 08:24 AM

I can't believe I am the first person to say this thread needs edited as there was no talk of lubrication. There is no possible way I could attempt without lubrication and/or condom usage. So use a water based lube and make it flavored since we would be potentially have tastebud activation.

**Mizfit** · 01-16-2006, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by Mesomorphyl

I can't believe I am the first person to say this thread needs edited as there was no talk of lubrication. There is no possible way I could attempt without lubrication and/or condom usage. So use a water based lube and make it flavored since we would be potentially have tastebud activation.

Hmmm i would think if your turned on enough no lube required

**Mesomorphyl** · 01-16-2006, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

Hmmm i would think if your turned on enough no lube required

Not for me. And to set the record I may be called the lumberjack(swinging lots of wood) I am by all means average. Some vaginal secretions help but I would not count on it as if it is the girls first time you do not want it hurting or it may never happen again.

Butt oil (aka monkeybutt) is not my idea of lube.

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-16-2006, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by Mesomorphyl

I can't believe I am the first person to say this thread needs edited as there was no talk of lubrication. There is no possible way I could attempt without lubrication and/or condom usage. So use a water based lube and make it flavored since we would be potentially have tastebud activation.

I thought that was what the dressing is for

**Logan13** · 01-16-2006, 09:00 AM

When I was in college, a little sorority hotty picked me up at a bar..I was shitfaced by the way. Went back to her place and went at it. I do not remember how she got back there, but she preceded to tongue my asshole. I was like, what the fuk? But damn if it didn't feel great. If you saw her on the street, you wouldn't think that she would do something like that. Just thought that I would share, she has always had a "special" place in my heart.

**Carlos_E** · 01-16-2006, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by Mesomorphyl

I can't believe I am the first person to say this thread needs edited as there was no talk of lubrication. There is no possible way I could attempt without lubrication and/or condom usage. So use a water based lube and make it flavored since we would be potentially have tastebud activation.

We're talking about ass eating. Not anal intercourse. You DO NOT penetrate unless you have a tongue like a lizard.

You just go around the outside so there is no need for lubrication.

**decadbal** · 01-16-2006, 10:08 AM

hahahaahahah, this is some funny shit

**Dave321** · 01-16-2006, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by Mesomorphyl

I can't believe I am the first person to say this thread needs edited as there was no talk of lubrication. There is no possible way I could attempt without lubrication and/or condom usage. So use a water based lube and make it flavored since we would be potentially have tastebud activation.

no need for lub... truuuuust me... just spit on her ass, it's degrating and quite enjoyable!

**Dave321** · 01-16-2006, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

We're talking about ass eating. Not anal intercourse. You DO NOT penetrate unless you have a tongue like a lizard.

You just go around the outside so there is no need for lubrication.

lmfao!!!

**tryingtogetbig** · 01-16-2006, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

With that attitude I feel sorry for your wife or girlfriend.

I asked them....they both said to stay away from their pooper with my tongue??!!

peace,

ttgb

**heavyrotation92** · 01-16-2006, 11:10 AM

this is why i wont go around that area......

dont eat anything before watching this...

NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINK...
link

if you are a mod and want to delete that link, go ahead

**Dave321** · 01-16-2006, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by heavyrotation92

this is why i wont go around that area......

dont eat anything before watching this...

NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINK...
http://poststuff.entensity.net/11180...ia=extreme.wmv

if you are a mod and want to delete that link, go ahead

nothing there.... don't try and ruin something beautiful!!!

**heavyrotation92** · 01-16-2006, 11:14 AM

sorry, i fixed the link

**Carlos_E** · 01-16-2006, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by tryingtogetbig

I asked them....they both said to stay away from their pooper with my tongue??!!

peace,

ttgb

Wife & girlfriend? You da man!

**NotSmall** · 01-16-2006, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

this is not common and i think most women wont go for it right away u gotta ease into it right Justin:P

Very true, best way IMO is to get the lucky girly lying on her back with 2 pillows under her arse - this allows a favourable angle for access.
Start with cunnilingus (pussy licking to all those unfamiliar with the technical nomenclature) to get the recipient in a state of high arousal then start straying further south, perhaps only venturing as far as the highly sensitive "taint" or "no man's land" on your first expedition, then revert to cunnilingus before again voyaging south - this time though going all the way to the illicit hoop of pleasure.
After a brief spell my personal preference is to resume cunnilingual activities while caressing the back door with a pussy juice moistened finger before slowly sliding the finger into the forbidden zone, if this is deemed acceptable by the receiver then there is every chance that some full blown anal action is on the cards!