Attention: All Sexually Active Men!!!

**Dave321** · 01-15-2006, 03:44 PM

Let your girlfriends toss your salads or vice versa!!! Please sit down with your lady friends and have them read my analogies to better living. This is a free session to elevate your sexual encounters with your significant others... I will treat this session as a trial, my services can be rather expensive so please DO NOT take it with a grain of salt!

Here is 5 steps to better living... please take notes (stayinstacked, I know you are not an advocate of this process, you need to treat your mind like a parachute and open it):

1. Clean up

Cleanliness is even more of a issue with an****gus than with traditional oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You or your partner should soap their butt, and rinse thoroughly with warm water. An enema usually isn't necessary if you wash well.

2. Ease in

Let you partner relax and get comfortable with you exploring their posterior before you bury your tongue in their lovehole. Massage their back and buttocks, kiss and caress their thighs and ass cheeks. Spread their cheeks and blow warm breaths over their hole. Lick, suck, and nibble their butt, perineum (the area of skin between the azz and genitals), and the skin around their pucker. Get everything warm, wet, and lubricated with saliva. Buttholes usually contract when stimulated, and then expand. Lick gently or tap the tip of your tongue against their butt, and wait for a response. After a bit of gentle probing, the sphincter muscles should start to relax and welcome deeper exploration.

3. Work your tongue

The anal region is full of sensitive nerve endings just begging for your tongue's caress. Keep your mouth moist and supple as you work their hole over. Keep your tongue loose and paint wide circle around their pucker. Make it tight, long and pointed to probe and penetrate. Work it in and out, around and around, till your partner begs for more.

4. Use your hands

In some ass-eating positions, your hands may be full keeping your partner's butt cheeks spread to allow you better access to their bunghole. But it's worthwhile to convince them to either sit on your face or reach back and clamp their ass open wide themselves. That way you can put your own paws to work massaging your partner's clit, or tweaking her nipples.

5. Pig out

Once you've got your face in your partner's butt, don't hold back. Worship your partner's ass. Get lost in it, make love to it. If both partners approach it with openness and enthusiasm, they will be rewarded with unparalleled enjoyment, whether eating ass is a main course, a spicy side dish, or appetizer for anal sex.

As I said, this consultation has been a curtesy session. Any PM's or e-mail inquiries can be deemed in exchange for cilias, a sweedish penis pump, and the Hollywood hit, "Position Impossible". Please excuse me, I have many other clients to attend to.

Muahahahahahaha

**BeerBaron** · 01-15-2006, 03:46 PM

I can't believe you took the time to type all that out.

**Dave321** · 01-15-2006, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by BeerBaron

I can't believe you took the time to type all that out.

**Theatrix** · 01-15-2006, 03:55 PM

Can't help but to think a good portion of ego at work here, brutha. But, when my ego flys, I can preach like a mutha@#@ka. More power to ya. The post does have me thinking about later!

**Booz** · 01-15-2006, 03:55 PM

you are a Strange one Justin a very strange one!!!

**stocky121** · 01-15-2006, 03:56 PM

**Dave321** · 01-15-2006, 04:07 PM

bwahahahaha!!!

Sundays are GREAT!

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 04:18 PM

Good post.. men take note

**MatrixGuy** · 01-15-2006, 04:34 PM

Justin, your friendly sex therapist.

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by MatrixGuy

Justin, your friendly sex therapist.

Hey he eased into it.. the boys got skill.. or he's practiced .. alot

**Panzerfaust** · 01-15-2006, 04:39 PM

I thouight this was common sense?

I could write a book with my knowledge of females and what gets their engine in the red.

**Flexor** · 01-15-2006, 04:40 PM

People, check out askmen.com, hit sexuality or dating & love on the left hand menu. Loads of advice from the players, you can't go wrong!

Just this type of stuff, very useful

Of course not all girls are the same, you need some skill and common sense so you don't seem like you've just been reading a site and are trying to copy it. Don't pretend to be a playa, be a playa

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 04:45 PM

this is not common and i think most women wont go for it right away u gotta ease into it right Justin:P

**TheSickOne** · 01-15-2006, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by Justin Sane

5. Pig out

Once you've got your face in your partner's butt, don't hold back. Worship your partner's ass. Get lost in it, make love to it. If both partners approach it with openness and enthusiasm, they will be rewarded with unparalleled enjoyment, whether eating ass is a main course, a spicy side dish, or appetizer for anal sex.

LOVE ITTTT!!!!!!!!!!

**KeyMastur** · 01-15-2006, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

Good post.. men take note

so i take it you like this ?

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by KeyMastur

so i take it you like this ?

I found the post amusing

**KeyMastur** · 01-15-2006, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

I found the post amusing

right....

**USfighterFC** · 01-15-2006, 05:11 PM

Hoss will be here in this thread for tips to please his b/f

**AnabolicAndre** · 01-15-2006, 05:16 PM

Fantastic best thread I have read in days!!!

someone should sticky this..

ok..maybe not that far but... Great Job justin!!!

**Anabolios** · 01-15-2006, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by USfighterFC

Hoss will be here in this thread for tips to please his b/f

HAD to get in on this one

or the many men that he finds on the internet and posts them on here for all to marvel at

i hope someone finds out you are using random pictures without consent haha

**MASTER** · 01-15-2006, 05:23 PM

Ha ha ha! Always classic stuff from u bro!

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 05:24 PM

I actually had no idea that the term toss your salad meant this.. but hey sexually speaking if it feels good it's fair game..

But im assuming if your a guy and u want it done.. u got some triming and some grooming to do

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 05:24 PM

I think you need to include some information to the girls on how to shave the male buttocs. I dont think most females want to burry there faces in the smelly jungle

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by johan

I think you need to include some information to the girls on how to shave the male buttocs. I dont think most females want to burry there faces in the smelly jungle

that's waht i was saying.. or is it politcally correct to let him tose our salda and not toss it back?

We need to know the politically correctness of the whole thing?

Is there a rule of thumb to how far after a meal?

Justin u gotta give us all the info to make informed decisions

**LENNOXLEWIS99** · 01-15-2006, 05:32 PM

when I was locked up in Clinton MAX I tossed a mean "salad".

**kloter1** · 01-15-2006, 05:41 PM

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

that's waht i was saying.. or is it politcally correct to let him tose our salda and not toss it back?

We need to know the politically correctness of the whole thing?

Is there a rule of thumb to how far after a meal?

Justin u gotta give us all the info to make informed decisions

You should avoid the area 24-36 hours after a meal with beans

That is the one and only rule. All other tossing is good

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by johan

You should avoid the area 24-36 hours after a meal with beans

That is the one and only rule. All other tossing is good

ok what about the grooming part...

or are u waiting for Justin to privde that

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

ok what about the grooming part...

or are u waiting for Justin to privde that

Yeah, he has probably shaved more asses than I have

**Alex2** · 01-15-2006, 05:59 PM

I'll try this in few days and let you know the results.

**Jimmya73** · 01-15-2006, 05:59 PM

grooming it is difficult, but for most it is neccessary anyway. you have to avoid the dreaded dingleberry!

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 06:02 PM

Does the female have to have pretty ass or is it all the same in the dark..

i know your all so happy im taking part in this discussion

**smokethedays** · 01-15-2006, 06:13 PM

Justin, wtf happened to you?! i thought you were homo

**LENNOXLEWIS99** · 01-15-2006, 06:14 PM

MIZFIT HAVE U EVER "tossed" a MANS SALAD

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by LENNOXLEWIS99

MIZFIT HAVE U EVER "tossed" a MANS SALAD

I think this is a very good question that entitles a quick and exstensive answere

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by LENNOXLEWIS99

MIZFIT HAVE U EVER "tossed" a MANS SALAD

U haven't been here long enough to ask those sorts of questions

**smokethedays** · 01-15-2006, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by LENNOXLEWIS99

MIZFIT HAVE U EVER "tossed" a MANS SALAD

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by johan

I think this is a very good question that entitles a quick and exstensive answere

Ah damn now u went and asked.

**Kärnfysikern** · 01-15-2006, 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

Ah damn now u went and asked.

its 01:18 at night over here and Im bored, so it had to happen

**Mizfit** · 01-15-2006, 06:20 PM

before this thread i never knew what the term meant..

From the description yes i know what is is..

but i can't win in this thread if i say no i will be called a liar .. whatever happens between two people.. is cool as long as they both enjoy it.. and if tossing ones salad is apart of the festivities.. then go ahead.. bring on the crotons