What would you do in this situation?

Big Show 23 · 07-07-2002, 03:52 PM

I notice that you people are smart so I want to pick your brains on a problem.I have a cousin named T.H that I lent a substantial amount of money to.To help him out of a problem he was having. Late November early December he started a new job at IBM.And he started paying me back March of this year.The terms were he'd transfer money to my account at the end of each month.And he successfully transfered 2 payments (1 at the end of March and 1 at the end of April) but for reasons he has yet to tell me he has missed payments for the end of May and the end of June.And since he hasn yet to tell me the reason why he has missed payments.I'm considering that after a certain time limit to take him to Small Claims Court.And out of respect I left a message on his voice mail telling him what I considering doing.

That is however a last resort action for me,since

a)I grew up with him and we've had many happy times plus he was a good listener during my "low period" which is why I was happy to help him out.

b)It will also bring our private dealing out in the open and could cause a family argument.

Would I actually have a case if I did take it to Small Claims Court?

Big Show 23 · 07-07-2002, 03:57 PM

This is the decision I've made,given a certain time frame I will talk to my cousin's mom.I will talk to her adult to adult asking her to keep it between us.I will tell her what's been going on.FYI my cousin T.H owes me $9900 so that's why I'm not willing to "pull my punches" so to speak.I'm also seriously mad because

1)I went out of my way to help him out so he could at least go out of his way to make sure I get my money on time

2)By not repaying me he's showing a lack of respect,and is figurtively speaking "Slapping me in the face

3)He says he has a good reason and was supposed to e-mail me explaining the reason why.But he has yet to do so.

And if it takes having his mother riding his ass for me to get my money back "So Be It"

The way I see it,I'm the one who went out of my way to lend money to a family member to help him out.By not paying me back consistantly he's
showing a lot of disrespect,and frankly he's showing a lack of responsibility by not even having the decency to tell me why he hasn't been transfering me money

**BigMike J** · 07-07-2002, 05:08 PM

that's complete b/s. That's alot of money to just let go. He has showed you his low side, and now it is time for you to show him your assertive side.

Take him to court, But you might want to call him one last time just to make sure there are no extenuating circumstances that might have kept you from paying. Maybe he got back into another situation, and if so then fuck him. If you can't learn the first time you are not going to learn at all.

Big Show 23 · 07-07-2002, 05:24 PM

Funny enough BigMikeJ he says that there is a reason why he hasn't paid me for the past 2 months.The fact that he hasn't told me yet leaves me to wonder if there actually is a reason or if he's trying to stall

**BigMike J** · 07-07-2002, 06:17 PM

exactly

**Vegas Kid** · 07-07-2002, 06:37 PM

First off, don't ever lend anybody money. I don't care what the reason is, nothing can be more akward then asking a friend for money.

Small claims court ain't going to do shit for you in most places. I don't know about Canada but in most states the cap is $5000. I also hope you have something in writing, a contract. Please tell me that you made a written agreement if you're loaning out $10000+. You need that in court. You should talk to him and see what's up. Don't bring his family into this cuz it will probably just piss him off. Find out what's going on and be nice about it, then work with him to get your money back.

Good luck.

**sp9** · 07-07-2002, 08:01 PM

If you don't have a written agreement you still have some proof hopefully. If you lent the money by check or some other means where you can prove it left your account in the sum of the loan that is good. Also you can present the records where he made the first two payments back to you. That evidence and your testimony will convince the judge that it was a loan that he stopped paying on. Vegas is right about the limits, but I still think something is better than nothing. You are right to try his mother first. Maybe she would be willing to pay you and collect directly from her son. Court should be a last resort but don't be shy about going that route is you don't see anything in the next 60 days or so. Good luck.

Big Show 23 · 07-07-2002, 09:10 PM

I may not have a written contract like Vegaskid mentioned but via the internet I can print out a copy of my bank statment
1 for the month that I lent him the money and the 2 months that he transfered money back to me.So in other words I do have access to visual proof that money changed hands and that some was repaid

Big Show 23 · 07-08-2002, 08:18 PM

Here is an e-mail I just recieved from my cousin today.Actually by telling me this it explains a lot of things.

My Cousin
Hi sorry it took so long to get back to you.I have to tell you that these past 2 months have been hard,because I now have to pay $300 for rent,phone,car insurance and gas.And all the bills came at once.I will pay you as soon as I get it. I have not been working overtime either,I have been working scattered shifts.I am trying to give when I can,I know it's been only $60 but I can only give when I have it.So as soo as things cool down,I will give you for this month.I will keep you posted.Write me back at this address

Now it all makes sense because it is just him and his mom in an apartment.And I was actually led to believe that he wasn't paying rent.But it makes sense that he does pay rent.I will send my cousin a reply later tonight.Actually now that I know what's going on I can now find it alot easier to be patient with him.Tell me if you agree or disagree with this statement.

If my cousin told me this from the begining it would've saved a lot of unnecessary anger on my part towards him.A little communication can sometimes go a long way

**sp9** · 07-08-2002, 08:53 PM

Sure it is a reason why he isn't paying you but it depends on how patient you can be. If it isn't causing you any financial delima to give a family member some slack than by all means do so. Just my 2 cents.

**JP1570** · 07-08-2002, 09:17 PM

he owes you 9900 and he's only paid 60 bucks??? I hate to be the one to say it, but if he's paying in increments that small, you may never see that money. Good luck

Big Show 23 · 07-08-2002, 10:14 PM

Originally posted by JP1570
he owes you 9900 and he's only paid 60 bucks??? I hate to be the one to say it, but if he's paying in increments that small, you may never see that money. Good luck

You're mistaken it used to be a bit over 10 grand, he's paid me back almost $1000.This problem is actually fairly recent.Just figured I'd correct you.

**SPEEDY** · 07-09-2002, 05:03 AM

BigSHow....It seems as if it is going to take your cousin a long time to pay you back. I think the most logical thing is to actually sit down, amicably, and discuss scheduled payments (not 60 bucks here and there). This is to save you the heartache of anything that might happen in the near future. I don't think you can take your cousin to court, it would cause a lot of problems in the family and it wouldn't be worth it. Also, as someone else mentioned, there is a cap in small claims court 3,000-5,000. Either case scenario you lose. So make sure you get things straightened out the right way to avoid future problems.

**BigMike J** · 07-09-2002, 07:07 AM

I think you should charge interest. When people barrow money from me i charge 10% interest (seriously), and i have never lent over $1,000 at a time. The reason for this is because when i do lend that much money my ass is broke PUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

**Butch** · 07-09-2002, 10:25 AM

Lending money is always a sticky situation. However, sometimes you have to wieh the circumstance. I know i would let my best boys borrow money. I know that it will not come back fast and it may never get paid. OPf course, I won't loan the moeny if I don't have it.

BigSHow, this is your call. I think you know what needs to be done. Good luck boss!

**rexflexall** · 07-09-2002, 10:27 AM

don't lend money to friends or family.

**Ikillpeople** · 07-09-2002, 03:42 PM

u should get your money back anyway u can fuck this guy and u know what fuck anyone would try to screw u out of your money. talk to his mother talk to his father take him to court, kill his dog, kidnap his sister, but jesus that almost 10 g's fuck that i am not even u and it looks like i am more pissed offf about it . u are taking this pretty well. i also think that this guy that owes u money fucking hates u right now, anyone who owes someone hates the person they owe money too especially if he has owed the money over a long period of time it just stress that eats away at the back of your head. fuck this guy blow up his house