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Thread: How To Shower

  1. #1
    Fullback57's Avatar
    Fullback57 is offline Associate Member
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    Talking How To Shower

    I got this off of Freakz, thought it was pretty sweet........How to Shower

    How to Shower Like A Woman:

    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
    according to lights and darks.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your
    husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
    must do more sit-ups.

    4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
    loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43
    added vitamins.

    6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced
    with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
    minutes until red.

    9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body
    wash.

    10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has
    all come off).

    11. Shave armpits & legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide
    to get it waxed instead.

    12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you
    lose the water pressure.

    13. Turn off the shower.

    14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots
    with Tilex.

    15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
    country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

    16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze
    hairs.

    17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown & towel on head.

    18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed
    areas.


    How to Shower Like A Man:

    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
    leave them in a pile.

    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the
    way, shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound.

    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror & suck in your gut
    to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror
    and scratch your ass.

    4. Get in the shower.

    5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

    6. Wash your face.

    7. Wash your armpits.

    8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it
    off.

    9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

    10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
    surrounding areas.

    11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on soap bar.

    12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

    13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

    14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror
    again.

    15. Pee in the shower.

    16. Rinse off & get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on
    the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole
    time.

    17. Partially dry off.

    18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener
    size again.

    19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

    20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

    21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you
    pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the woo
    woo sound again.

    22. Throw wet towel on the bed.

  2. #2
    palme's Avatar
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    9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.


    ...

  3. #3
    Ocnorb36's Avatar
    Ocnorb36 is offline Junior Member
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    TRUE..............

  4. #4
    Buddha_Red's Avatar
    Buddha_Red is offline Senior Member
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    OMG LOFL i needed a good laugh.. thanks =)

  5. #5
    tatty's Avatar
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    LOL...thanks for the laugh in the morning.

  6. #6
    Vegas Kid's Avatar
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    Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the
    way, shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound.

    So true.

  7. #7
    PaPaPumP's Avatar
    PaPaPumP is offline Retired Moderator
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    woo woo...hahahaha


    That shit is classic

  8. #8
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    Love it. Although it sounds like you were being awfully gernerous with all that soap. Aren't you suppose to just use the run-off of your shampoo for your unmentionables. You also forgot - Shave and leave stubble in a ring around the sink. Otherwise, dead on.

    By the way, is it wrong to shake your weiner and make that woo woo sound even if there is nobody else in the room........just asking?

  9. #9
    kreper69's Avatar
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    9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
    LMFAO!!!
    12. Scream loudly when your fiance flushes the toilet and you
    lose the water pressure.
    LOL that's what happens to me from the result of #2 (woo woo)
    she's so spiteful, or she just let's water run in the sink.. Ever notice when you get in the shower your girl decides it time to do laundry??

    By the way, is it wrong to shake your weiner and make that woo woo sound even if there is nobody else in the room........just asking?

    LOL different strokes for different folks

  10. #10
    Grocho is offline Associate Member
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    This is probably one of the most inevitable truth of the differences of shower taking in male in female. That is some funny shit!!!

  11. #11
    Grocho is offline Associate Member
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    I make the "woo woo" when ever i feel like it is a good idea. So ofcourse its ok to go "woo woo" alone or in your spare time.!

  12. #12
    clockworks's Avatar
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    Re: How To Shower

    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
    leave them in a pile.

    check!

    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the
    way, shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound.

    check!

    5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

    check! i'm glad i'm not the only one who does this...

    6. Wash your face.

    yeah right...

    7. Wash your armpits.

    check!

    9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

    i did this once and my gf at the time heard and i didn't get laid that night...=(

    10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
    surrounding areas.

    whoa!!! i didn't know that was a universally accepted guy thing! wow, i didn't even realize i did it until i read it here...=)

    11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on soap bar.

    yeah, but i wash them out...=P

    12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

    whats conditioner?

    15. Pee in the shower.

    eww, gross...not even >i< do that...

    18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener
    size again.

    yeah! mine is like the size of one of those big peanuts! you know, the kind that has 3 nuts instead of 2 in the shell...

    19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

    how do we avoid this?

    21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you
    pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the woo
    woo sound again.

    maybe thats why i'm single now...




    hehe, what a funny post. i learned a lot about myself by reading it...=)

    -clocky baby

  13. #13
    tt333 is offline Senior Member
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    My shampoo is my soap too.

  14. #14
    hellapimpin's Avatar
    hellapimpin is offline Anabolic Member
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    hahahahahhahaha....that is some funny shit!

  15. #15
    nakkid's Avatar
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    i'm dieing of laughing... ahahahaaaa...

  16. #16
    Tobey is offline Retired IRON CHEF Mod
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    Classic post. ILMAO
    IC

  17. #17
    symatech's Avatar
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    woo woo!! that craks me up bro thanks

  18. #18
    Terinox's Avatar
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    Hilarious man!!!

  19. #19
    flex321's Avatar
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    thanks for the laugh, thats great stuff.

  20. #20
    chinups Guest
    Who the F has been watching me

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