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  1. #1
    BOUNCER is offline Retired Vet
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    Another tear jerker from Bouncer, help a poor kid..





    Hi, My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy.
    My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.
    The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people.
    I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap
    bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.
    I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't
    know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in
    church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.
    Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.
    Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you are probably a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care
    about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
    Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

    Thank You, Billy "Burlap" Evans







    Bouncer

  2. #2
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    who do i make the check out to??

    i think billy has a real bad attitude for such a young child. i knew a kid made of leaves when i was growing up. good kid.better mulch. yes, poor leaf boy passed away when we were kids, but his dying wish was to be turned to mulch and placed in our atrium so he would never "leave" us.we have a fountain that pours water out of his litle head and everything.cute kid...

  3. #3
    palme's Avatar
    palme is offline Rosie Member
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    Re: who do i make the check out to??

    Originally posted by partyboynyc
    i think billy has a real bad attitude for such a young child. i knew a kid made of leaves when i was growing up. good kid.better mulch. yes, poor leaf boy passed away when we were kids, but his dying wish was to be turned to mulch and placed in our atrium so he would never "leave" us.we have a fountain that pours water out of his litle head and everything.cute kid...
    you guys are insane

  4. #4
    dern180 is offline Member
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    Thats funny shit!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    tatty's Avatar
    tatty is offline Member
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    Re: who do i make the check out to??

    Originally posted by partyboynyc
    i think billy has a real bad attitude for such a young child. i knew a kid made of leaves when i was growing up. good kid.better mulch. yes, poor leaf boy passed away when we were kids, but his dying wish was to be turned to mulch and placed in our atrium so he would never "leave" us.we have a fountain that pours water out of his litle head and everything.cute kid...
    hahahaha partyboy always a riot!

  6. #6
    Billy Boy's Avatar
    Billy Boy is offline Retired Moderator
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    TOTALLY BLOODY BONKERS!! lol

  7. #7
    skid's Avatar
    skid is offline Banned
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    bouncer, you did it again bro! I busted out laughing and now all my coworkers want to know what is so damn funny ... thanks for improving my Monday, you crazy-ass MOFO!

  8. #8
    system admin is offline Owner
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    LMFAO!!! PArtyboy! good to see you!

  9. #9
    maguilagorilla's Avatar
    maguilagorilla is offline Associate Member
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    texas
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    i would send you the money and forward the message...but i already promised the headless kid i would do it for him...hey" henry the headless kid" needs a a head and you need a body!!... waist a minute! im getting an idea here!...no.. no.. idea gone oh well?

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