Serious question...Has anyone ever tried to help out a ....

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 04:06 AM

For any of you guys that are competitive bodybuilders, or are really Goddamn good with nutrtion...........Have you ever offered to help out somone you know that is bullemic?

was it a mistake, regrattable and a failure because you couldnt get through to them....or between the two of you it just felt you were way out of line?

Or was it worth it and a postive experience?

I dont really know this person very well, but nevertheless, I am just deeply disturbed about it, feel awful for the girl, and kind of want to help.

ps- she didnt have to do it in my presence. but possibly seeking attention?

**rhino1** · 11-20-2008, 04:08 AM

My wife does this crap behind my back...pisses me off....im in the health field and I know how horribile it is and i have seen first hand the consequenses of this...Im really scared for her...

I too am disturbed by this...so i feel your pain...

Hoperfully all turns out well for you...

**Older lifter** · 11-20-2008, 05:03 AM

If you are really wanting to help, call a medical or help centre that deals with this kind of problem and get advise on what to do from people that deal with it all the time, i am sure they get many calls from concerned friends on what they can do to help.....

Thats all i can think for you and i hope it helps

**rhino1** · 11-20-2008, 05:06 AM

its a mental thing...body image disorder...she needs therapy most likely...

let me guess...she is already in good shape?

**VeraDeMilo** · 11-20-2008, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by rhino1

its a mental thing...body image disorder...she needs therapy most likely...

let me guess...she is already in good shape?

Yep, thats what I was gonna say. Any nutritional or health advice you give will fall on def ears. Like Rhino said, it is a mental disorder that requires councelling. I dated two girls with this disorder. One for 3 years. And never knew she was doing it till the end of the relationship. looking back I should have known. She had burn marks on her knuckles from the stomach acid when she purged with her hand. and her back teeth all cracked and fell out from the decay due to the stomach acid. This girl was 5'4 and 110lbs with a great figure too. She developed a heart problem later on (at 21 years old).

Best thing to do, if you are somewhat close and met the family, contact her parents and tell them about her problem. Those are the only people that can "force" her to get help if she doesn't want to or see the need to.

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by rhino1

its a mental thing...body image disorder...she needs therapy most likely...

let me guess...she is already in good shape?

their is 2 of them. The one that did it in my presence, she really does have a about a legit 15-25 pounds that could easily come off. What is so sad, is that with 2-3 months of tight nutrition and dedicated workouts, this girl could be in amazing shape. But girls are just so clueless about physiology.

The other 1, who did not do it in my presense, but judging by the way she was handling the situation, probably does it to. She is a great looking girl, but actually needs to gain weight to look better.

I am just so puzzled by the whole thing. At the time that she did it, you would think she could have waited for the 2-3 hours after I left to keep it secretive. But since she did it knowing I would hear it, its almost like it could possibly be attention seeking. And if it is not attentnion seeking, then she really has a severe problem if she couldnt hold off just one time to keep it secretive. I am 75 percent sure all she ate was chicken. nothing else.

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by VeraDeMilo

Yep, thats what I was gonna say. Any nutritional or health advice you give will fall on def ears. Like Rhino said, it is a mental disorder that requires councelling. I dated two girls with this disorder. One for 3 years. And never knew she was doing it till the end of the relationship. looking back I should have known. She had burn marks on her knuckles from the stomach acid when she purged with her hand. and her back teeth all cracked and fell out from the decay due to the stomach acid. This girl was 5'4 and 110lbs with a great figure too. She developed a heart problem later on (at 21 years old).

Best thing to do, if you are somewhat close and met the family, contact her parents and tell them about her problem. Those are the only people that can "force" her to get help if she doesn't want to or see the need to.

Ya, That is exactly what I was afraid of, about "falling on def ears" which is exactly why i made this thread...

Thing is, I am not close to her at all, have only seen her ONCE outside of class. BUt, i cant explain it, I just feel so bad for these people. ANd what makes it worse is that I have the dietary knowedge that could wip somebody into shape in just a few months.

**VeraDeMilo** · 11-20-2008, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

their is 2 of them. The one that did it in my presence, she really does have a about a legit 15-25 pounds that could easily come off. What is so sad, is that with 2-3 months of tight nutrition and dedicated workouts, this girl could be in amazing shape. But girls are just so clueless about physiology.

The other 1, who did not do it in my presense, but judging by the way she was handling the situation, probably does it to. She is a great looking girl, but actually needs to gain weight to look better.

I am just so puzzled by the whole thing. At the time that she did it, you would think she could have waited for the 2-3 hours after I left to keep it secretive. But since she did it knowing I would hear it, its almost like it could possibly be attention seeking.

They have to do it right after they eat so none of that food is absorbed. The one i dated used to come out to eat with me and my family. We would go out for big pasta dinners. She would get up to "go to the bathroom" at least 5 times a meal. She later told me that she would throw up in each bathroom break

The attention thing is a possibility too

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by VeraDeMilo

They have to do it right after they eat so none of that food is absorbed. The one i dated used to come out to eat with me and my family. We would go out for big pasta dinners. She would get up to "go to the bathroom" at least 5 times a meal. She later told me that she would throw up in each bathroom break

The attention thing is a possibility too

The only reason I think that is a possability. Because the room I was in was so goddamned close to the bathroom. YOu would think most people try to keep this extremely secretive. But she basically knew with 100 percent certainty that i would know that she did it. You would think maybe she could just pass one time. I am not sure all it was that she ate, but fairly sure it was just chicken.

thats really sad about the ex

**big_k** · 11-20-2008, 12:41 PM

Bulimia is a complex disorder, that is NOT solved with sound nutrition knowledge.

I think your best bet is supporting the person, and trying to find them treatment. Its a self-image issue, self-confidence, self-a lot of things.

**VeraDeMilo** · 11-20-2008, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

The only reason I think that is a possability. Because the room I was in was so goddamned close to the bathroom. YOu would think most people try to keep this extremely secretive. But she basically knew with 100 percent certainty that i would know that she did it. You would think maybe she could just pass one time. I am not sure all it was that she ate, but fairly sure it was just chicken.

thats really sad about the ex

Yeah it was. And then the other girl I dated with this problem was a sorority girl in college. I don't think her issue was psychological though. She just did it because all of her girlfriends did it. I lived in a house with her and 4 of her sorority sisters one summer. They would go out to eat and when they got home, they would all go in the bathroom together and take turns throwing up and holding eachothers hair. And then all come back out smiling and laughing.

**T3/T4 GSR** · 11-20-2008, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by big_k

Bulimia is a complex disorder, that is NOT solved with sound nutrition knowledge.

I think your best bet is supporting the person, and trying to find them treatment. Its a self-image issue, self-confidence, self-a lot of things.

Ever think the the desire to get huge and pump yourself full of steroids and eatting till you want to puke isn't to far removed from this? Not meaning anything negative here just food for thought as I have thought about this everytime I see eatting disorders come up.

**rhino1** · 11-20-2008, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

Ever think the the desire to get huge and pump yourself full of steroids and eatting till you want to puke isn't to far removed from this? Not meaning anything negative here just food for thought as I have thought about this everytime I see eatting disorders come up.

but steroids used with moderation, knowledge and understanding are virtually harmless...

**Amorphic** · 11-20-2008, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

Ever think the the desire to get huge and pump yourself full of steroids and eatting till you want to puke isn't to far removed from this? Not meaning anything negative here just food for thought as I have thought about this everytime I see eatting disorders come up.

a huge majority of steroid users have the same body issue problems women do. i myself am guilty of it

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

Ever think the the desire to get huge and pump yourself full of steroids and eatting till you want to puke isn't to far removed from this? Not meaning anything negative here just food for thought as I have thought about this everytime I see eatting disorders come up.

I dont see it that way. Because bodybuilding done right is methodical, logical, and takes an understanding of basic physiology. IN other words, its takes brains. What we do with food works and works with the system.

**T3/T4 GSR** · 11-20-2008, 07:45 PM

But the drive comes from an internal insecurity. Face it there is no real use for being able to bench 405. Just vain desire. Hey I got it too but I can admit it.

**FallenWyvern** · 11-20-2008, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

But the drive comes from an internal insecurity. Face it there is no real use for being able to bench 405. Just vain desire. Hey I got it too but I can admit it.

Yikes, truth hurts bro.

**IamtheChitt** · 11-20-2008, 09:11 PM

Yeah, i had a g/f who was both anorexic and bulimic. As others have said, it is a mental disorder and requires counseling. I'm sure some have beat it on their own, but most need professional help. I dated this girl for 2 years before I realized what was going on. She had a good looking body, but her image was fat. Kinda like some guys with bigorexia (Whose self image is smaller than others see them as).

Anyway, once I figured what was going on, I tried to help, but to no avail. It all falls on deaf ears. I tried to explain that by not eating her metabolism was actually slowing down. Tried to convince her to eat at least 6 small meals etc. None of it worked. We eventually broke up after I told her to tell her parents or that I would do it. She saw a counselor and all. I think she is better now; although, I dont really care anymore...

Hope this helps....

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 11:27 PM

Originally Posted by IamtheChitt

Yeah, i had a g/f who was both anorexic and bulimic. As others have said, it is a mental disorder and requires counseling. I'm sure some have beat it on their own, but most need professional help. I dated this girl for 2 years before I realized what was going on. She had a good looking body, but her image was fat. Kinda like some guys with bigorexia (Whose self image is smaller than others see them as).

Anyway, once I figured what was going on, I tried to help, but to no avail. It all falls on deaf ears. I tried to explain that by not eating her metabolism was actually slowing down. Tried to convince her to eat at least 6 small meals etc. None of it worked. We eventually broke up after I told her to tell her parents or that I would do it. She saw a counselor and all. I think she is better now; although, I dont really care anymore...

Hope this helps....

yup, you are one of many posters that has confirmed exactly what I was afraid of. I dont know this girl, its probably better off i mind my own business. If I say something or offer anything, she will probably never want to speak to me again. Better to be on speaking terms I suppose. In the end, its really up to her ownself and family.

I believe myself to be the most nieve person in the world. I just never suspect anybody of anything.

**rhino1** · 11-20-2008, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by IamtheChitt

Yeah, i had a g/f who was both anorexic and bulimic. As others have said, it is a mental disorder and requires counseling. I'm sure some have beat it on their own, but most need professional help. I dated this girl for 2 years before I realized what was going on. She had a good looking body, but her image was fat. Kinda like some guys with bigorexia (Whose self image is smaller than others see them as).

Anyway, once I figured what was going on, I tried to help, but to no avail. It all falls on deaf ears. I tried to explain that by not eating her metabolism was actually slowing down. Tried to convince her to eat at least 6 small meals etc. None of it worked. We eventually broke up after I told her to tell her parents or that I would do it. She saw a counselor and all. I think she is better now; although, I dont really care anymore...

Hope this helps....

my wife is bulemic-everyone has their insecurities

**Older lifter** · 11-20-2008, 11:37 PM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

yup, you are one of many posters that has confirmed exactly what I was afraid of. I dont know this girl, its probably better off i mind my own business. If I say something or offer anything, she will probably never want to speak to me again. Better to be on speaking terms I suppose. In the end, its really up to her ownself and family.

I believe myself to be the most nieve person in the world. I just never suspect anybody of anything.

Ahh, but look at that kid that killed himself on line,,, everybody just ignored him, and he's family didn't seem to know he was in trouble.......

I know its hard but i would really speak to one of the support groups and see what they say, they would get a lot of calls from people concerned but unsure what to do and maybe they can say something... What is she gets worse and you know you did nothing, often they don't know that they are doing something wrong,,, just call an expert, see what they say

Up to you, but at least you would of tried,,,,just my opinion

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 11:38 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

But the drive comes from an internal insecurity. Face it there is no real use for being able to bench 405. Just vain desire. Hey I got it too but I can admit it.

I would argue that it is a healthy drive. One that nature intended. Something hardwired into our brains since cavemen times. At least as far as being natural, women are very turned on by a nice extrememely large muscular body very much of the time and it helps us reproduce. Its "one" quality that we are born with used to help us seduce women. SImilarly, guys with senses of humor will hone their skills over the years because that is their main trate they believe will help them win the best mate even if they dont know it.

Women and their disorders on the other hand. Is the polar opposite in relative terms of everything i said for guys and muscles. OR, this is just a new trait some women believe in recently. Thing is, us guys know it is repulsive, so that trait will die off eventually.

Our "muscle drive" trait, is something that has survived for a long long long time. We are evolved for it very well.

these are just of course...my humble theories

**IronReload04** · 11-20-2008, 11:41 PM

Originally Posted by Older lifter

Ahh, but look at that kid that killed himself on line,,, everybody just ignored him, and he's family didn't seem to know he was in trouble.......

I know its hard but i would really speak to one of the support groups and see what they say, they would get a lot of calls from people concerned but unsure what to do and maybe they can say something... What is she gets worse and you know you did nothing, often they don't know that they are doing something wrong,,, just call an expert, see what they say

Up to you

of coures..........Brilliant. YOu know what, I will follow through with that. Not only for her, but for me.....it disturbed me so freaking much and I have to get stuff off my chest anyway.

**Older lifter** · 11-20-2008, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

of coures..........Brilliant. YOu know what, I will follow through with that. Not only for her, but for me.....it disturbed me so freaking much and I have to get stuff off my chest anyway.

Good on ya mate,, at least you will know you tried to help..... and who knows maybe it can start her on the right path

**T3/T4 GSR** · 11-21-2008, 12:18 AM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

I would argue that it is a healthy drive. One that nature intended. Something hardwired into our brains since cavemen times. At least as far as being natural, women are very turned on by a nice extrememely large muscular body very much of the time and it helps us reproduce. Its "one" quality that we are born with used to help us seduce women. SImilarly, guys with senses of humor will hone their skills over the years because that is their main trate they believe will help them win the best mate even if they dont know it.

Women and their disorders on the other hand. Is the polar opposite in relative terms of everything i said for guys and muscles. OR, this is just a new trait some women believe in recently. Thing is, us guys know it is repulsive, so that trait will die off eventually.

Our "muscle drive" trait, is something that has survived for a long long long time. We are evolved for it very well.

these are just of course...my humble theories

Possibly, the only thing that hurts this theory IMO is that the majority of girls I have talked to about this actually say they are turned off by a very large and muscular individual. So just something to think about.

**IronReload04** · 11-21-2008, 12:36 AM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

Possibly, the only thing that hurts this theory IMO is that the majority of girls I have talked to about this actually say they are turned off by a very large and muscular individual. So just something to think about.

yeah....I can agree to a point. They might have had extreme examples on their minds....like maybe thinking of a powerlifter or ronnie coleman

DOnt you think us kinds on this website are pulling ass much of the time? Like, I wouldnt go as far as to say we pull more ass than everyone. Muscle is just one trait out of many that women are seduced by. I just think having the muscle drive trait competes strongly with other traits that women find attractive, and overwhelms the competition who dont have anything special.

**godkilla** · 11-21-2008, 01:26 AM

i suspect a girl i am dating is bullemic.......

**rhino1** · 11-21-2008, 01:49 AM

Originally Posted by godkilla

i suspect a girl i am dating is bullemic.......

ask her to puke on you when you are fvcking her...thats sooooo hot...

or do her doggy and tell her to puke then you can tell your friends you fvcked her till she puked

**rhino1** · 11-21-2008, 01:50 AM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

yeah.... Muscle is just one trait out of many that women are seduced by. I just think having the muscle drive trait competes strongly with other traits that women find attractive, and overwhelms the competition who dont have anything special.

lol...thats debateable...i have seen some super hot chicks with some week/fat looking fvckers

they must have lots of money or a big hog...

**Primalinstinct** · 11-21-2008, 03:57 AM

I worked next to a gal for 7 years who had this problem. I tried to help but it didn't work. It is totally a mental game. All she would eat was french fries, candy and coffee. It stressed me out quite a bit to see someone destroy themselves (more than I thought it would). I found myself researching the disease online in my own spare time.

I ran into her this summer and she is down to nothing in terms of weight. She wears a size '0' and must have them taylored to fit. She is 40 yo and looks like she is 50. A shame but you have to want to help yourself, first.

Professional help is the best bet to beat the disease. The average person does not understand the premis of this. It is hard to conceive.

**IronReload04** · 11-21-2008, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by Primalinstinct

I worked next to a gal for 7 years who had this problem. I tried to help but it didn't work. It is totally a mental game. All she would eat was french fries, candy and coffee. It stressed me out quite a bit to see someone destroy themselves (more than I thought it would). I found myself researching the disease online in my own spare time.

I ran into her this summer and she is down to nothing in terms of weight. She wears a size '0' and must have them taylored to fit. She is 40 yo and looks like she is 50. A shame but you have to want to help yourself, first.

Professional help is the best bet to beat the disease. The average person does not understand the premis of this. It is hard to conceive.

omg me too. I find myself cruising forums about this disorder. I as well feel disturbed. Glad to know this is normal and I am not the only one. I am gonna take up old lifters advice and just call a hotline