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  1. #1
    Sir Victorian guy, V.C. is offline Knight of the Garter and Member of the Victorian Order
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    Harassed by gym management!! Marvin fired!

    Brothers,

    The following is a true story.

    I have been HARASSED by the management at my gym...a conspiracy is afoot, the goal of which is to drive out all hard-core, train-till-we-vomit barbarians, the likes of myself and Nobby. I have had it, and have contacted my lawyers and am planning a massive lawsuit. Here are the facts of the case:

    It all started innocently enough. One evening, during training, Nobby and I went to the water cooler to fill our 2 gallon plastic jugs with water- our old 2 liter bottles were too small. As we were filling our jugs, a woman of about 20, wearing a 'Stop American Imperialism' t-shirt and sporting cropped, orange hair and various facial piercings, stood waiting- impatiently. Finally, she said, in a most displeasing tone, "Look...I only have this little water bottle to fill...would you FUCKING MIND letting me fill this then you two can finish?!'' It was not a request, but an order. "Fill it we shall for you, my dear" I said, and passing her bottle to Nobby, snapped "Fill it to the top, old boy!" . Nobby took the bottle in one of his thick, stubby, dirty hands, grunted, and went to the changing/shower area. "Oh...and I am not your 'dear'!" she snapped. "Yes, my lady, as you say" I remarked, ever the cavalier.

    A minute later Nobby returned, and handed the woman her bottle- filled right up- albeit with a warm, yellow fluid. Her face showed initial surprise, then contorted in disgust. She stormed off, and returned with the counter/towel boy- none other than Marvin, our Down-Syndrome challenged friend and a true Iron Warrior. "Expel these PIGS" the woman sneered.
    Nobby leaned over to Marvin "Oi, Mahvin, ow abaht it?" he said, grinning, and handed Marvin his trusted bike chain.
    Marvin took the bike chain in his hands, trembling with emotion at such an honour, and behind his 2 inch thick glasses I could see true Iron Warrior fanaticism brewing.
    Screaming, he turned and whacked the woman across the face with his chain, then chased her around the gym, swinging the chain over his head. Unfortunately, his banzai charge got a tad out of hand and he ran into and old lady, who looked at least 150 years old, and the two of them went flying through the front glass window of the health club and onto the sidewalk outside, where they lay cut and bleeding.
    "AWROIGHT MAHVIN! FOOKIN A!" Nobby roared, and collected his chain.

    The next evening, the manager approached us and began berating us for 'intimidating' members. I stopped my set of front barbell raises with 185 pounds, and turned to face him. "Please, Sir, do feel at liberty to go fuck yourself", I said. Nobby picked up an E-Z curl bar, and, screaming "YA FOOKIN' BASTAHHHDDD!!" began bending the bar in half with truly superhuman force- then put the now U-shaped bar around the manager's neck, and bent it still further- actually wrapping the bar around his neck! He struggled to pry it apart, but it was of no use, and 15 minutes later members of the fire department arrived to help get the E-Z curl bar off of his neck. The 'jaws of life' had to be used to pry it open. Suddenly, Marvin walked in, bandaged and no doubt out on bail, and the manager turned to him and screamed "YOU ARE FIRED!!"

    As we were leaving, walking through the parking lot heading for the Rolls Royce, the manager pulled up alongside us in his car - "I have called the police...you are not to come back ever- do you hear?" he screamed. Nobby and I had had enough of this harassment. He saw the anger in our eyes and floored it, hoping to escape- but Nobby had lifted the end of his car, and his wheels spun to no effect! I seized his car from the side, and promptly flipped it over with such Herculean force that it rolled over 3 times before stopping. Marvin burst out the door, screaming 'ARRGH FUCK KILL" and, brandishing an Olympic bar, began beating on the manager's car, smashing out the windows. As the sound of police sirens neared, Nobby and I took off, leaving Marvin to be arrested and beaten by the police.


    They haven't heard the last of us, I tell you!

  2. #2
    EXCESS's Avatar
    EXCESS is offline Retired Moderator
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    I never know what to expect with your posts. This time a bike chain was swung, a gym manager was beaten, and the cops were called. I can't imagine the next one.

  3. #3
    tatty's Avatar
    tatty is offline Member
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    always an amusing read...argh nobby!

  4. #4
    AnabolLecter75's Avatar
    AnabolLecter75 is offline Junior Member
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    Damn prick manager had it coming

  5. #5
    MBaraso's Avatar
    MBaraso is offline Retired Mod
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    Good story bro lol

  6. #6
    sicilian40's Avatar
    sicilian40 is offline Banned
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    i say, jolly good story chum!

  7. #7
    tt333 is offline Senior Member
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    Awsome!

  8. #8
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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    good show old man, here, here!

  9. #9
    seniormateus's Avatar
    seniormateus is offline Associate Member
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    Funny!

  10. #10
    palme's Avatar
    palme is offline Rosie Member
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  11. #11
    King Samson's Avatar
    King Samson is offline Associate Member
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    Keep em coming bro. These stories a great.

  12. #12
    BMANN's Avatar
    BMANN is offline Associate Member
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    Always being harrassed by THE MAN.

  13. #13
    Strut99GT's Avatar
    Strut99GT is offline Member
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    I especially like the accuracy with which he conveys Nobby's accent...classic!

  14. #14
    Babyweight's Avatar
    Babyweight is offline Female Member
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    Re: Harassed by gym management!! Marvin fired!

    Originally posted by Sir Victorian guy, V.C.
    . "Please, Sir, do feel at liberty to go fuck yourself",

  15. #15
    nuke is offline Member
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    OMG !! BRo yure like my moring cup of java !!! You need to make this a weekly series !!!


    "The Chronicles of Sir Victorian Guy "

  16. #16
    PushButton's Avatar
    PushButton is offline New Member
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    try to get these stories published bro

  17. #17
    Big Rush's Avatar
    Big Rush is offline The Juice Man
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    haha...funny shit ya fuggin baastad

  18. #18
    clhp20's Avatar
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    Poor lil marvin, he is always getting the brunt of it..


    Way to take one for the team Marvin. You're a good guy in my book

  19. #19
    needmorestrength's Avatar
    needmorestrength is offline Anabolic Member
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    "leaving Marvin to be arrested and beaten by the police" LMFAO hahaha I expect one of these stories every two hours

  20. #20
    Juddman's Avatar
    Juddman is offline Anabolic Member
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    What a beauty.

  21. #21
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    Another good one.

  22. #22
    GQ-Bouncer's Avatar
    GQ-Bouncer is offline Anabolic Member
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    leaving Marvin to be arrested and beaten by the police.

    hahahaha

  23. #23
    ReX357's Avatar
    ReX357 is offline "Toughest & Best Looking Guy Around Here"
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    BUMP!



  24. #24
    chest6's Avatar
    chest6 is offline Banned
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    this one was alright

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