My roommate's PISSING ON MY FLOOR!?!?
So after having a dorm room peacefully to myself for most of the semester, due to my first roommate moving out due to transferring schools, I am enjoying having the opportunity to be able to study without distraction, or to do some basic exercises, or to be able to eat all the tuna I want without someone two feet away complaining of the smell insisting protein isn’t necessary to build muscle. Anyway, get a new roommate moved in about a week and a half before the end of the semester (perfect shitty timing)… and he turns out to have been kicked out of the other dorm he was living in due to receiving his fourth fucking underage drinking ticket of the year. So I’m thinking, great, this isn’t going to work out, being roomed with a fat ass drunken slob who does nothing but watch TV and brag about missing class for the past three weeks. Since I’m not a drinker or partier much, I know he’s gonna try pulling some walk-in-at-3-in-the-morning-piss-ass-drunk-making-noise thing.
So yesterday I hit the sack around 11:30, with only one day of exams left. Said drunken roommate proceeds to enter the room around 2am and collapse immediately to his bed. Okay, whatever, as long as I get my sleep after a heavy ME squat day and needing to get up at 6:30am for class. But noooooo, the fat slob then gets up, walk over to my side of the room right next to my stereo system and computer, three feet away from my head, whip his shit out, and start PISSING ON THE GODDAMN FLOOR!! I hear this, flip the light on, and ask what the fuck he’s doing. Stupid question gets a stupid answer… he tells me “I’m pissin’, what th’ hell’s it look like?”. So I’m like, what the fuck… But nonetheless see the opportunity to get this tubby frat-wannabe kicked the hell outta my room. I go and get the CA, who calls the police, and by 3:30am there’s three of us sitting outside my fucking dorm room laughing our asses off at this drunk bastard getting his fifth underage ticket of about $750. Turns out he’s racked up a total of $2400 in drinking tickets this year alone. Funniest thing was his drunken attempt to coerce the cop out of his ticket. Telling a cop “This sucks, can you not ticket me this time” while slurring your words is not exactly charismatic enough to win over the cop who was laughing at this kid as much as we were.
I still gotta meet up with the head of the building to make sure chubby here is removed from my room. Got like two and a half hours of sleep last night… but I’m feeling fine now, after 100mg Ephedrine and 20mg Adderall and a shitload of caffeine.
Why the hell can’t college kids drink responsively? And why do they get piss ass drunk during exams week?? Fuck, I gotta transfer to a private school or something.
