So you want to become a MOD ???

**KeyMastur** · 12-28-2002, 09:44 AM

Fill out the attached form.....

**Wake Chick** · 12-28-2002, 10:28 AM

HAHAHA Funny, but Key you have to much time on your hands, will you get off the internet!!! Everytime I sign online I see your name

haha Just playing, but you know I'm right!!

**popa** · 12-28-2002, 11:00 AM

NO WAY!!!!!!! DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE COMPUTER, I GET A GOOD TAN FROM MY MONITOR

**BigMike J** · 12-28-2002, 11:38 AM

Can i use Adope to print that out

Haha too funny bro, but i agree wit Wake chick get the fuck outta your house once in a while

**EXCESS** · 12-28-2002, 11:40 AM

Thats just the application. The interview is worse!!!

**BigMike J** · 12-28-2002, 11:57 AM

I hear the the interview is almost like an interrorgation. You come in (all the mods are present) they offer you a d-bol, and then you have a seat.
If you do not take the d-bol eyebrows are raised

Then after the little d-bol trick. You are handed a list of sources. You have to identify the scammers from the legit sources. This is a trick too because the list is of nothing but scammers. If you identify a scammer as a legit source your ass is beaten up pretty bad and your application is denied right then, but only after the ass beating

If you do make it pass the source trick. You are then asked what your lifts are. You will give the numbers of all your major lifts. Most people who are ashamed about their lifts lie and that is what they want. To see if you are a lier. After you give your numbers you are then taken to a dark room, (they call it the suprise room) then the lights are flicked on and i be a motherfucker!!! It is a fucking small gym. You are then tested and asked to lift the weight that you wrote down on the piece of paper. If you fail even one lift your ass is beaten and your application is denied.

If you make it throught the lift test(lie detector) you are then escorted to the computer lab. This is a tough room. This room is used to examine the key elements of knowledge that pertain to lifting. In that room you will find Virtual Biff(women mods use Virtual Bertha). Virtual Biff is actually a computer generated fatass who aspires to be in shape. This all sounds like a game, but it is not. You have exactly 3 hours to get virtual biff into shape. Virtual Biff has his own ideas about how he would like to look. It is your job to get him into shape. You will act as his personal trainer when it comes to issues of as/diet/wt/fatloss, etc... At the end of the three hours if Virtual Biff is not in his desired shape then you are not fit to be a mod. Virtual Biff depended on you and took your advice, now he has Gyno and permanent testicular shrinkage. Unfortunately for you this means an ass beating and a denying of your application.

If you make it to Virtual Biff give yourself a hand because alot of applicants do not make it that far.(what i have heard) And after 5 or more years or so after you have gained enough knowledge you too will be ready to be mod.

I say fuck it im happy just being a member and helping anyway i can.. although i would like to have those mod tools, there are a few dumbasses i would like to put in place.

**EXCESS** · 12-28-2002, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by BigMike J
If you identify a scammer as a legit source your ass is beaten up pretty bad and your application is denied right then, but only after the ass beating

In my case they just beat me. No questions. They didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to them, other than to say "Please God, make it stop!!" Some guys haven't received the beating. Ron didn't. Actually nobody knows how he became a mod. I think it has something to do with those female vitamins he keeps ordering from Allsports.