Breakups harder for Men than Women?

**Neevor** · 08-19-2010, 04:40 PM

I realized this was an interesting topic to me after basically posting this exact comment 200 responses deep in another thread. So in the last month or two I've seen a few break up threads (Stig's and D3m3nt3d's are the two I come up with off the top of my head) and wanted to see if my view on this was wide spread or just me or what...

I think break ups are much harder for men than women and here’s why..

Women have all these friends (because women are social creatures by nature) and its also socially acceptable for them to show weakness. In most dudes cases (at least in mine and most alpha males I know), we don't have a lot of friends we can open up to and your best friend, typically, is your woman. I mean, if something bad happens to me I tell my gf about it while we are layin in bed that night (sometimes she’s the only one who knows me well enough to say, "What’s bothering you hon? You seemed sad today/tonight"). I guess I could tell my brother or dad but they'd tell me to stop being a pus and have a beer. Other than that I could tell my mom but I'm not gonna worry my mom about anything. So my gf is really the only one I have to talk to about stuff like that. So when we break up, she’s the only one I could have talked to about the break up and she’s gone.

So when I see guys on here hurting from that kind of a loss it hits me where I live cause very likely the reason they are posting about it on here is because they don't have anyone else to talk to about it. The one person they would have talked to about their loss IS their loss.

Thoughts?

**Knockout_Power** · 08-19-2010, 04:47 PM

you can take it one step further and say its less harsh for a girl cause its very easy for them to put on some sexy clothes and go out for a night with the girls and draw the kind of attention that makes them feel good about themselves, even if they dont act on it. They can appear a little weak, or emotionally distressed but guys will hit on them none the less..

for guys, women can see things like desperation, weakness, depression, anxiety and they spot it from a mile away and typically dont go for those guys so we dont get boosted back up so easily.

This is just how I see it... I could just be full of it, thats possible too

**vanduhl** · 08-19-2010, 04:50 PM

100% True

**Neevor** · 08-19-2010, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

you can take it one step further and say its less harsh for a girl cause its very easy for them to put on some sexy clothes and go out for a night with the girls and draw the kind of attention that makes them feel good about themselves, even if they dont act on it. They can appear a little weak, or emotionally distressed but guys will hit on them none the less..

for guys, women can see things like desperation, weakness, depression, anxiety and they spot it from a mile away and typically dont go for those guys so we dont get boosted back up so easily.

Wow! Good point KP! I hadn't even thought of that.. Damn

**gettingthere** · 08-19-2010, 04:51 PM

Ya i think break ups are harder for men, especially when the girl breaks up with us!! we get so frustrated so quickly and unless we have girls waiting in the wings then it hits us hard!!

It hit me hard a couple years ago when me and my ex broke up, it tool me a long time to get over it....but she seemed to get over it so much quicker, might just be me but i doubt it

**spoken_truth** · 08-19-2010, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by gettingthere

Ya i think break ups are harder for men, especially when the girl breaks up with us!! we get so frustrated so quickly and unless we have girls waiting in the wings then it hits us hard!!

It hit me hard a couple years ago when me and my ex broke up, it tool me a long time to get over it....but she seemed to get over it so much quicker, might just be me but i doubt it

we want what we cant have lol so when they break up with us its no good

**stack_it** · 08-19-2010, 05:21 PM

I handle them decently. It makes me mad not sad. So I take my anger out on vaginas. I think most men take it harder tho. Nobody wants to be unwanted.

**Hoggage_54** · 08-19-2010, 05:23 PM

**SlimmerMe** · 08-19-2010, 06:08 PM

I think I agree--MEN DO FEEL WORSE! When I saw my brother's behavior of sleeping on the coach all day while the entire family tip toed around the house I could not believe it. This actually made me very aware early on as to how men do get so upset. And now my best male friend is heartbroken and to watch him simply saddens me. Oddly enough, I don't feel this sorry for my female friends because we women do talk it out until a broken record and it becomes exhausting so we move on faster. I think that because when MEN FINALLY OPEN UP they feel so exposed and vulnerable and wounded to their very core.

**Atomini** · 08-19-2010, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

I think I agree--MEN DO FEEL WORSE! When I saw my brother's behavior of sleeping on the coach all day while the entire family tip toed around the house I could not believe it. This actually made me very aware early on as to how men do get so upset. And now my best male friend is heartbroken and to watch him simply saddens me. Oddly enough, I don't feel this sorry for my female friends because we women do talk it out until a broken record and it becomes exhausting so we move on faster. I think that because when MEN FINALLY OPEN UP they feel so exposed and vulnerable and wounded to their very core.

Yup.

This is why I don't do this bullshit anymore. After a few breakups, I find that I don't get sad or depressed anymore. I get extremely fvcking angry. I don't feel depression or sadness during or following a breakup and haven't felt it in years. Just intense anger.

I also find that women are far FAR more cold in the process of a breakup as well. Colder than a walking fridge.

**Hazard** · 08-19-2010, 07:14 PM

Thank god i'm pretty..... anytime i've gone through a break up..... i just go out and pull some tail

~Haz~

**teddykgb29** · 08-19-2010, 07:24 PM

I think break ups are hard on whoever is the one getting dumped, guy or girl. I think its pretty equal.

**stack_it** · 08-19-2010, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

Thank god i'm pretty..... anytime i've gone through a break up..... i just go out and pull some tail

~Haz~

Exactly

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

you can take it one step further and say its less harsh for a girl cause its very easy for them to put on some sexy clothes and go out for a night with the girls and draw the kind of attention that makes them feel good about themselves, even if they dont act on it. They can appear a little weak, or emotionally distressed but guys will hit on them none the less..

for guys, women can see things like desperation, weakness, depression, anxiety and they spot it from a mile away and typically dont go for those guys so we dont get boosted back up so easily.

This is just how I see it... I could just be full of it, thats possible too

I counter act by wearing Medium size t shirts when I go out, at 250lbs....It's the same idea and works like a fvcking charm.

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Neevor

I realized this was an interesting topic to me after basically posting this exact comment 200 responses deep in another thread. So in the last month or two I've seen a few break up threads (Stig's and D3m3nt3d's are the two I come up with off the top of my head) and wanted to see if my view on this was wide spread or just me or what...

I think break ups are much harder for men than women and here’s why..

Women have all these friends (because women are social creatures by nature) and its also socially acceptable for them to show weakness. In most dudes cases (at least in mine and most alpha males I know), we don't have a lot of friends we can open up to and your best friend, typically, is your woman. I mean, if something bad happens to me I tell my gf about it while we are layin in bed that night (sometimes she’s the only one who knows me well enough to say, "What’s bothering you hon? You seemed sad today/tonight"). I guess I could tell my brother or dad but they'd tell me to stop being a pus and have a beer. Other than that I could tell my mom but I'm not gonna worry my mom about anything. So my gf is really the only one I have to talk to about stuff like that. So when we break up, she’s the only one I could have talked to about the break up and she’s gone.

So when I see guys on here hurting from that kind of a loss it hits me where I live cause very likely the reason they are posting about it on here is because they don't have anyone else to talk to about it. The one person they would have talked to about their loss IS their loss.

Thoughts?

I can agree with this for the most part. However, it all varies on the person and how sensitive/emotional they are. I get upset easily, which also leads to me getting pissed off pretty easily. Some hewa broke things off with me this summer..it REALLY sucked. I stalk her facebook here and there- she seems very happy and living life. While I have been pissed off and miserable the past three months. I have just resigned to the fact that most women are all evil, sinister, creatures who are on this earth to mentally destroy all of man kind.

**SlimmerMe** · 08-19-2010, 08:07 PM

WE don't do it on purpose at all---NOT AT ALL! Here is the deal:
from an early age as a toddler: girls are taught to be emotional
boys are taught to be physical
so----when the guy gets hurt then he is not equipped to handle it as well since he has not developed this skill over a lifetime like a female has
I am not underestimating female'e emotions one bit by saying this---it is just that we have more practice emotionally which intices men actually to seek that feeling of safe emotion -like coming home to a safe warm spot---so when that is over, he gets tormented when it is taken away

**AlphaGenetics** · 08-19-2010, 08:36 PM

Man I totally agree. Women have all the support in the world it seems with their family and friends. On the other hand It also depends on who loved who more. That plays a big factor. All the family and friends in the world cant replace the one she loved more than life. But I agree with you for the most part.

**HitIt** · 08-19-2010, 08:47 PM

women have vaginas, we have penises....we win (i'm a deep thinker)

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

you can take it one step further and say its less harsh for a girl cause its very easy for them to put on some sexy clothes and go out for a night with the girls and draw the kind of attention that makes them feel good about themselves, even if they dont act on it. They can appear a little weak, or emotionally distressed but guys will hit on them none the less..

for guys, women can see things like desperation, weakness, depression, anxiety and they spot it from a mile away and typically dont go for those guys so we dont get boosted back up so easily.

This is just how I see it... I could just be full of it, thats possible too

im always attracted to these kinda guys..lol

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:07 PM

i hate to be an ass... but ..... if men cant get the emotional support or b able to talk to other guys... i think thats ur issue as a man..... like men do that "im a guy bs..." "im too tough crap" women dont like guys like that.. we dont make you like that...we dont expect guys to b like that ( in most cases).....

men act that way as a thing of control... u give up ur "manly" act, u lose to women. but its a decision men make to b like that......

im always soooooooooooooooo nice to the men im with.......an d i always get used and tossed....

**SlimmerMe** · 08-19-2010, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by HitIt

women have vaginas, we have penises....we win (i'm a deep thinker)

I have not stopped laughing --- BEST answer so far! for humor that is......
however...... it does come down to "who loved who more" it seems

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 09:10 PM

[QUOTE=Diamond*K;5321819]i hate to be an ass... but ..... if men cant get the emotional support or b able to talk to other guys... i think thats ur issue as a man..... like men do that "im a guy bs..." "im too tough crap" women dont like guys like that.. we dont make you like that...we dont expect guys to b like that ( in most cases).....

men act that way as a thing of control... u give up ur "manly" act, u lose to women. but its a decision men make to b like that......

im always soooooooooooooooo nice to the men im with.......an d i always get used and tossed....[/QUOTE]

99.9% of the time its the other way around. It's always the SAME story when it comes to women and break ups.

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:13 PM

[QUOTE=******;5321827]

Originally Posted by Diamond*K

i hate to be an ass... but ..... if men cant get the emotional support or b able to talk to other guys... i think thats ur issue as a man..... like men do that "im a guy bs..." "im too tough crap" women dont like guys like that.. we dont make you like that...we dont expect guys to b like that ( in most cases).....

men act that way as a thing of control... u give up ur "manly" act, u lose to women. but its a decision men make to b like that......

im always soooooooooooooooo nice to the men im with.......an d i always get used and tossed....[/QUOTE]

99.9% of the time its the other way around. It's always the SAME story when it comes to women and break ups.

well so far every Fukin time i let a guy get close to me.. they break up with me or i find out they're cheating....

i ALWAYS GET FUKED OVER!!

**D3m3nt3d** · 08-19-2010, 09:15 PM

Ok well everyone knows my story, so I will keep it short. My wife and kids were my life. I loved them more than life itself, the last thing I wanted to do was see it end, much less see it end and feel like i dont know what was real. I had posted on another site my situation. It went into great detail, such as our whole story, her ex husband and her story, our sex life, lack there of towards the end...kinda made me feel inadequate altho it had happened with every guy she lived with. Both her and them told me, atleast it took years and not months for me.

Anyway today she comes to my house while im at work, gets my laptop, so she seen the whole thread and decided she wanted to start texting me about how it was so hilarious the way this chick was killing me because somehow this bitch didn't see that my wife fvcked ME over....well it turned into a lot of texts, then a long phone call, then some texts about things we may should have done different, but like she said its too late now, so we told each other goodnite. She still keeps up with me everyday, admits that. I think my problem is I have talked it out on here and everywhere else until I am blue in the face. I think I just need to grieve....suck it up and just cry.

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 09:17 PM

[QUOTE=Diamond*K;5321829]

Originally Posted by ******

well so far every Fukin time i let a guy get close to me.. they break up with me or i find out they're cheating....

i ALWAYS GET FUKED OVER!!

mhmmm....

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:22 PM

[QUOTE=******;5321836]

Originally Posted by Diamond*K

mhmmm....

ohk seriously tho. i kno sum times i like to get attention.. but think y.. i get treated like crap from the men i kno here. i've had sex like 10 times in the past year..... trust me im hardly gettin laid...

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 09:27 PM

[QUOTE=Diamond*K;5321838]

Originally Posted by ******

ohk seriously tho. i kno sum times i like to get attention.. but think y.. i get treated like crap from the men i kno here. i've had sex like 10 times in the past year..... trust me im hardly gettin laid...

Maybe you're caring too much. Whenever I really cared about a female (and tried to hide it) she immediately caught on and took advantage of me..When you stop caring so much, you'll be suprised how many guys will be chasing after you.

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:32 PM

[QUOTE=******;5321846]

Originally Posted by Diamond*K

Maybe you're caring too much. Whenever I really cared about a female (and tried to hide it) she immediately caught on and took advantage of me..When you stop caring so much, you'll be suprised how many guys will be chasing after you.

i kno but im not like that....... and i dont take advantage either!!! trust me.. im the one that buys nice gifts and always there.. and carin.. im always soo nice.

but guys wanna play the game and not just accept bein loved when they deserve it...

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 09:34 PM

[QUOTE=Diamond*K;5321854]

Originally Posted by ******

i kno but im not like that....... and i dont take advantage either!!! trust me.. im the one that buys nice gifts and always there.. and carin.. im always soo nice. but guys wanna play the game and not just accept bein loved when they deserve it...

Stop doing all that shit and reverse the game!!!

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:35 PM

[QUOTE=******;5321855]

Originally Posted by Diamond*K

Stop doing all that shit and reverse the game!!!

i tried.. it still doesnt wrk.....

**Gaspari1255** · 08-19-2010, 09:45 PM

^How come when we quote each other it makes it look like we're talking to ourselves? LOL

**Diamond*K** · 08-19-2010, 09:46 PM

i donno... lol

**Igifuno** · 08-19-2010, 10:02 PM

Its obviously harder on whomever is the one who doesn't want the relationship to end.

**big_ron** · 08-19-2010, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

Its obviously harder on whomever is the one who doesn't want the relationship to end.

AMEN to that. ive broken up with my gf and got back a bunch of times... most of the time its been me breaking up with her... it was still hard because i didnt wanna let her go...but after a few days i was fine... maybe because she was a wreck and msging and calling all the time? i dunno i hate the ****ed up game sometimes...lifes simple and lonely when ur single but when ur with some1 its pain hurt and confusing at times

**Knockout_Power** · 08-19-2010, 10:22 PM

I love lamp

**vanduhl** · 08-20-2010, 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by Diamond*K

i donno... lol

come to NY diamond.......problem sovled

**Diamond*K** · 08-20-2010, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

Its obviously harder on whomever is the one who doesn't want the relationship to end.

agreed.

i would say 90% of the men i meet i nvr really care to see twice.. but the few i actually let close to me....i care about a lot and i dont play the game.. just give them respect and then usually its not fun for them anymore......

**Diamond*K** · 08-20-2010, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

Its obviously harder on whomever is the one who doesn't want the relationship to end.

btw..... ur lookin huge in ur pic man.

**calgarian** · 08-20-2010, 07:35 AM

i will come back later its toooo early in the morning to talk abt depression , feelings and shit

**D3m3nt3d** · 08-20-2010, 08:51 AM

I wish I could wake up one day and not think about all my problems, and analyze everything to the brink of insanity. This has been going on a lot longer than the month we have been apart. I spent the last 3-4 months analyzing everything, checking fb, checking phone calls etc. It's a slow miserable killer for sure.