Swallowing My Pride, Admitting My Ignorance, and Asking that Age-Old Question

[BigGreen]

While I like to consider myself an intelligent individual in many respects, I am more than willing to admit when my knowledge, and particularly my wisdom, falls short in any realm. Realizing full well that I lack the wisdom necessary to answer this question (or even begin to evaluate its underpinnings) i gotta ask it, cliched and worn out as it may be. Basically, is "When Harry Met Sally" bullshit, i.e., can friends of the opposite sex ever become "more than friends"??

Yes I have a girlfriend, so much like the new members wanting to know what three weeks of winny can do for spring break, this is "for a friend"...yes, that'll do. I'm too lazy to type out the specifics of the situation, and for that I apologize...but aren't they all the same?? Okay, some basics: My friend, whom we shall affectionately refer to as "BigBlue", developed a relationship of sorts (neither a plutonic or romantic...just sorta "there") with his college roomate's younger sister. Eventually the two of them started hanging out together outside of the normal realm in which they grew to know eachother (ie, when hanging out together with the roommate in question)....now, frequently talking over email, planning to visit one another, standard flirtatious behavior that everyone seems to pick up on and the brother is not happy about, so on and so on ad nauseum.

So, from your personal experiences, can it legitimately happen, or is it all bullshit meant to sell movie tickets and false hopes to pimply high school kids?

[Decoder]

Bigblue should start taking clomid 3 weeks after last email from that chic.

[tolinka]

Well my beloved friend....Me being young and quite not that experienced with women, but being a witness to such things before, i could say that it is quite possible.

[Lostsoul]

BigGreen your really making us think.

I think it can be possible, but i think it has something to do with how both people think of the other, ie "we are friends, anything more than that is like dating my sister eww" type thing, or there may be an attractivness there, but i know people who were friends and are now dating, and have done so for years, and they seem more laid back about their relationship, but thats just observation, i have little experience with women also.

i hope that makes sense.

I'd like to hear what others with personal experience with this have to say, its an interesting subject.

[RON]

Been there done that. Sex was phenomenal. Relationship was good till she turned into a bitch from hell. Funny mine was a friends younger sister too. So yes it works.

[daem]

the realm that is typically pursuant to maintaining relationships with our same sex formally tells us that this 'roommate's younger sibling' is off limits strictly for the infringement upon his personal life, just as an ex-girlfriend would be. however, bb has everything to gain from this situation while roommate does not. the roommate obviously does not want to see his flesh & blood decimated by an older guy, especially one that he lives with, so the roommate should have qualms at first with bb developing a more than friends relationship with his younger sister. there is a fine line between making decisions and taking responsibility for them...if she subscribes to the latter then the brother should respect her wishes. personally, i'd go ahead with what i wanted before i asked the brother if it was ok to have a deeper relationship with his sister...he can not control her and must learn to accept it if he is going to remain sane.

a good friend was in this situation, and the brother lived down the hall from me, right across from the guy that was dating his younger sister, oddly enough. just make sure that if you do take your relationship to the next level that people don't drop immature comments like "dude, your sister is getting boned next door" and ridiculous shit of that nature. i've seen him quite pissed before because he trusts his sister but has problems with some of her decisions. imo, it all depends on how controlling of a person the brother is.

to answer the question, i definitely believe it can happen, however goals need to be discussed straight up to minimize miscommunication in the future. if your expectations do not converge then one of you is in for a painful fall. have bb talk to the girl and clear this up so it doesn't consume either of you, i mean her and him

[painintheazz]

I have had a few friends that have become more than friends, we agree that it would be to weird to date each other, but hooking up once in a while is fine. They are very laid back girls, and I am a very laid back guy, they know that we can hook up and then go out and if I see them talking to another guy I could give a shit less. And the opposite is true too. It depends on peoples attitudes.

Pain

[chicamahomico]

I work in a bar so I run into this situation all the time. People tell me their little stories, many of which are exactly the same as BigGreen's. Here's what I say to women:

Scene: Girl is with guy that is obviously not the bf
Girl: <insert small talk here>
Chico: <yawn>Is that your bf?
Girl: Him? Oh, no we're just friends. We'd never get together.
Chico: Are you sure he thinks that.
Girl: Oh, yeah. It's not like that.
Chico: If it was up to him would it be like that? I bet you if you gave him the chance he would take it.
Girl: Really? You think so.
Chico: Didn't you see that Seinfeld where Jerry proved that men and women cannot be friends if the women is good looking in the dudes eyes.

Our friend Seindfeld was right on the money on this one folks. If she's hot enough and she's not your sister or your mama, you'd take a lil pie if you had the chance.