Funny Things With Kids...
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY THESE.
Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
1. Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a
storm
hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my
bedroom
about 2 A.M., I found my two children in bed with my wife, apparently
scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest
bedroom
that
night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was
O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected
home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK. After my
next
trip
several weeks later, my wife and the children picked me up in the
terminal
at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, there were hundreds of
other folks waiting for their arriving passengers, also. As I entered
the
waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've
got
some good news!" ! As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good
news?"
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.
The
airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at
Alex,
then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they
could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
2. An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story
about
her then 4 yr. old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had
left
her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and
began
playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter
wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the
instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
3. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm
Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must
say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was,
but
mother says I'm not."
4. A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were
on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
5. At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the
altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down
around
the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into
the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
the best for last:
6. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She
stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating
a
snack
cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your
Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
