Start the week off with a few lessons (JOKE OF THE DAY MONDAY-Feb 24)
Corporate Lesson 1 :
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up
in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the
next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 800
dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment,
the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few
seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the
towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her
husband
asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor,"
she
replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800
dollars he owes me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure
Corporate Lesson 2 :
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and
nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm: 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes
from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her
leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm: 129?" Once
again
the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked
up Psalm: 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might
miss a great opportunity!
Corporate Lesson 3 :
Usually the staff of the company play football. The middle level managers
are more interested in Tennis. The top management usually has a preference
for Golf.
FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.
Corporate Lesson 4 :
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina
coladas
and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those
two back in the office after lunch."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always let your boss have the first say!
