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  1. #1
    KunipshunFit's Avatar
    KunipshunFit is offline Lounge Lizard
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    Start the week off with a few lessons (JOKE OF THE DAY MONDAY-Feb 24)

    Corporate Lesson 1 :
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
    when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
    should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
    up
    in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
    the
    next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 800
    dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment,
    the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few
    seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.
    Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the
    towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her
    husband
    asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor,"
    she
    replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800
    dollars he owes me?"

    MORAL OF THE STORY: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
    and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent
    avoidable exposure


    Corporate Lesson 2 :
    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
    and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs
    forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and
    nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
    hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
    remember Psalm: 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
    forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes
    from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her
    leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm: 129?" Once
    again
    the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
    convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
    looked
    up Psalm: 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
    glory."

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might
    miss a great opportunity!


    Corporate Lesson 3 :
    Usually the staff of the company play football. The middle level managers
    are more interested in Tennis. The top management usually has a preference
    for Golf.

    FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.


    Corporate Lesson 4 :
    A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
    when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
    puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
    give each of you just one."

    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
    driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

    In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
    Hawaii,
    relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina
    coladas
    and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
    those
    two back in the office after lunch."

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Always let your boss have the first say!

  2. #2
    BigGreen's Avatar
    BigGreen is offline Anabolic Member
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    gets my vote for the best joke of the day yet...namely because in good humor there always exists great truth.

  3. #3
    Shredz is offline Respected Member
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    On one side of the river there is a rooster and a cat. On the other side there is bird seed and cat food. They are both starving and in need for something to eat. So the rooster takes a few steps back and starts running full out. Jumps at the edge of the river and makes it to the other side and starts eating the bird seed.

    The cat sees this and attempts the same. He takes a few steps back and runs jumps but does not make it..."splash" right in the water.

    The Moral of the Stroy:
    For every satisfied cock there is a wet pussy!!! Sorry ladies!!

  4. #4
    tolinka's Avatar
    tolinka is offline Senior Member
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    i just had a great laugh

  5. #5
    Terinox's Avatar
    Terinox is offline The One & Only
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    FUCKEN GREAT!!!



    Classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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