Thread: AssFace Humor!!
11-27-2001, 02:19 PM #1New Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
This guy is one funny motherfucker.. For those of you that don't know him he used to post along time ago!!
ASSFACE has been to many, many, many, gyms in this great land of muscledom. WHile the scene always changes, the same 3 motherfuckers always follow me to the new gym!!!! can you beleive the nerve of these 3:
Dennis Stickfigure = Dennis has been following ASSFACE from gym to gym since I started traingin when I was 13. Dennis has the remarkable ability to let everyone in the gym know how great his body is. He even wears all those bodybuilding clothes like Crazeewear and Otomix. Dennis even knows more about training than anyone in the gym, and is such a helpfull guy he will tell you how to do a better exercise in the middle of your set. Its too bad Dennis Stickfigure weighs 140 pounds, clothes and cell phone included.
Tina Corolla - Tina is a legend!! No one has bigger balls than TIna when it comes to wearing spandex to smooth out her cellulite. Even better is the 1/2 inch of cake she wears on her face to smooth out the divots. Tina's last name comes from that infamous Toyota product, the Corolla. These cars last forever, unfortunately, Tina thinks her looks will last forever also. She is still running, but shes all rusted out!!
The Pec-Dec Posse - you know them. THe five of them run from gym to gym surrounding the pecdec like a ho at a gangbbang. No one dares enter the circle around the dec and ask to work in!! I dont know which is worse, the fact that the PecDec Posse takes 5 minutes in between each person, or the fact that they cant bench their own bodyweight!!
OK, OK, ASSFACE understands we all have the same things we hate at the gym , mattskywalker said it best - until one of us opens a gym and only board members go, we have to deal with it. ASSFACE says we can also deal with it, but we dont have to deal with it sitting down!!. THIS IS the reason ASSFACE has developed these strategies of dropping protein farts and stinky bombs in and around the geeks, stickboys, cousin franky's, tina corolla's, carolyn cameltoe's, and dumbbell dipshits at your very own gym!!
THE HIT AND RUN - effective, and you can laugh about it from a safe distance. Walk by them during their set, drop your protein fart, run away. Watch them cringe 15-20 seconds later.
THE YEAH I DID THAT - when squidly hops in front of your mirror, drop your bomb and sit there staring at 'em. They will cringe and then you can say"Yeah, I did That!
THE UPPER DECK- effective against douchebag gym owners and their little cousin Franky who works behind the desk - only works on toilets with a water tank on top. Close stall door - take of water tank lid - drop you stinky bomb in the tank - put the lid back on. By the time they realize where the smell is coming from - they have a water tank full of stew on their hands.
THE STINK PLATE - also effective against douchebag gym owners -in your home - pack a paper plate and saran wrap in your gym back. Go to the gym. In the locker room, hit a stall and crap on the plate. Cover it with saran wrap. No make sure no one sees you, put the plate in a locker and lock it. Flush the key down the toilet. stink plate in the house.
THE CLUSTER BOMB- have your trainging buddies eat some beans and rice before the gym. Throw in some cheerios for good measure - with your training buddies in tow, you can drop a string of protein farts in a hit and run fashion anywhere in the gym.
THE YOU THINK ITS THERE STINK BOMB - when you see squidly coming towards the water fountain, beat him there, take your drink, squeeze out a nice protein fart, then run away. Squidly then steps up to the fountain, and the people in line behind him thinks its his stink!
THE AEROBIC BOMB - usually the aerobic areas have fans blowing all around. In this area, go up wind of the person who is your target. Let er rip and the fan powered protein fart drifts there way. Very effective against the cell phone runners as they arent paying any attention to whats going on. They tlak, talk, and then cringe as the waft of decaying myoplex enters their nostrils.
ASSFACE HAS FUN AT THE GYM. NEXT TIME YOU FIND YOURSELF STANDING IN A HAZE OF PROTEIN FART, CHANCES ARE IT BY SOMEONE USING ONE OF THESE TECHNIQUES
11-27-2001, 03:26 PM #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
- Back from Hell
THis is definatly the best post I have ever seen do you go to my gym?
11-27-2001, 03:40 PM #3
OMG that is some of the funniest shit Ive ever read.
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