Something funny for your day

[abstrack]

Subject: American

MessageThe train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the full >>length of >>the train, searching for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat >>was that >>next to a middle-aged, well-dressed, French woman and was being >>used by a >>well-coiffured Poodle. >> >> The war weary soldier asked, "Please ma'am, may I sit in that >>seat?" >> >> The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed, >>and said, >>"You Americans, you are a very rude class of people. Can't you see >>my >>little Fifi is using that seat?" >> >> The soldier walked away, limping on his wounded leg, eager to >>find a place >>to rest, but after walking the full length of the train, found >>himself >>standing before the same lady with the poodle. >> >> Again he asked, "Please, lady, may I sit there? I am exhausted." >> >> The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans >>are not >>only rude but you are also arrogant and disrespectful." >> >> With this the weary soldier very calmly reached down, picked up >>the dog and >>briskly threw it out of the window of the moving train. And, sat >>down in >>the >> empty seat. >> >> The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend >>her and >>chastise the soldier. >> >> An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke in a very >>calm, strong >>voice. "You know sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for >>doing the >>wrong thing. You eat with the wrong hand, you drive on the wrong >>side of the >>road, and now sir, you have thrown the wrong bitch out of the >>window."

[abstrack]

> They grow up so fast ......
>
>
> Guess whose birthday it is?
>
> Can you believe it? Monica Lewinsky turned 28 this week....
>
> It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White
> House on her hands and knees.
>
>
>

[Terinox]

Not bad. Kunip. is starting to get some competition!

[arnoldwannab]

You guys are 2 much! lol

[abstrack]

> >AMERICAN HISTORY...
> >It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese
> >businessman, entered the fourth grade class. The teacher said,
> >"Let's begin by reviewing some American history."
> >
> >"Who said, 'Give me Liberty or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank
> >faces, except for Suzuki's. "Patrick Henry 1775," he said.
> >
> >"Very good! Who said '...government of the people, by the people, for the
> >people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
> >
> >Again, no response, except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
> >
> >The teacher snapped, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to
> >our country, knows more about its history than you do."
> >
> >She heard a loud whisper, "Screw the Japs."
> >
> >"Who said that?" she demanded.
> >
> >Suzuki raised his hand: "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
> >
> >At that point a student said, "I'm gonna puke."
> >
> >The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Who said that?"
> >
> >Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
> >
> >Furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
> >
> >Suzuki jumps up waving his hand & shouts, "Bill Clinton, to Ms.
> >Lewinsky,1997"
> >
> >With near mob hysteria, someone screams, "You little shit. If you say
> >anything else, I'll kill you."
> >
> >Suzuki yells, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
> >
> >At this, the teacher fainted. The class gathered around her.
> >
> >One of the kids says, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"
> >
> >Suzuki says, "Arthur Andersen, 2002."