Joke of the day (to make up for yesterday's botched picture)
Some ground rules to help people determine if the sex
counted. This list of rules can also be very helpful to
determine if you have cheated on your spouse or
significant other.
1. Oral Sex does not count.
2. If you can't remember the person's name the following
day, doesn't count
3. If you failed to call the person back to have more
sex, doesn't count
4. If neither of you achieved orgasm, doesn't count
5. Sex with a friend, doesn't count, it's just another
thing you share
6. If the act was so lame, you leave thinking "did I
shave my legs for this", doesn't count
7. An old flame, doesn't count
8. An ex-spouse, doesn't count ,refer to this as a "pity
fuck"
9. Masturbating in front of someone while they do the
same, sorry, not sex
10. Cyber-sex - NO FUCKIN WAY - this is glorified
masturbation
11. 2 heterosexual women having fun, not sex
12. kissing is not cheating
13. an act to make a married person feel good about
themselves, not sex, BUT only if you do not know their
significant other
14. an act committed while you were intoxicated, doesn't
count
15. an act committed with a family member of your
significant other, doesn't count, this should be
referred to as "a skeleton in the family closet"
16. acts committed in a public place, doesn't count (why
should it, it was fun right?)
17. phone sex, doesn't count, refer back to "glorified
masturbation"
18. in car, doesn't count, way to cramped, if vehicle is
in motion and has a console or stick shift, this counts,
way to kinky and erotic not to count, unless the act
was totally oral, then refer back to rule #1
19. an act committed in which the female of the encounter
did not achieve total satisfaction (orgasm), doesn't
count
20. an act committed in whi
21. an act in which no kissing takes place, doesn't
count (not considered to be intimate)
22. an act in which "you do all the work", doesn't count
23. an act committed with your next door neighbor,
doesn't count, this should be referred to as "being
neighborly"
24. an act committed with an acquaintance because you are
angry with your significant other doesn't count
25. an act which only happens on a random basis, doesn't
count, this should be considered a "fuck friend"
SEX does count if a pregnancy results!
