> >
> >1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
> >2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
> >3. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
> >4. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
> >5. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
> >6. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.
> >7. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
> >8. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
> >9. You offer to give someone shirt off your back & they don't want it.
> >10. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
> >11. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
> >12. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
> >13. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
> >14. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
> >15. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
> >16. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
> >17. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
> >18. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
> >19. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
> >20. You have used a rag for a gas cap.
> >21. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
> >22. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
> >23. You can spit without opening your mouth.
> >24. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
> >it.
> >25. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
> >26. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
> >27. You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on
> >the side.
> >28. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
> >29. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
> >30. You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.
> >31. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> >32. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
> >33. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you
> >home.
> >34. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> >improvement.
> >35. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
> >36. You've asked the preacher, "How's it hangin'?"
> >37. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.